New Here and Angry at the world!

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KiraK26960
KiraK26960 Member Posts: 2
edited June 2014 in Caring for Someone with Breast cancer
New Here and Angry at the world!
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  • KiraK26960
    KiraK26960 Member Posts: 2
    edited October 2009

    Hi,

    my name is Kira and this is my 1st post to this site... I've been looking around all over the place for support with this, but everyone seems to have the same answers... stay positive... keep your head up blah blah. I know its a typical response to hearing the news, but i just want to be able to talk to someone about how angry i am... (yup sorry, i'm here to vent right now)

    All of this has left me questioning "the works of god" 2 of the closest people in my life (generous, loving, caring people) end up with these deadly diseases (cancer and MS) while others that lie, steal and cheat their ways through life end up with nothing more than a cold when they are the ones that DESERVE this crap... it just doesnt seem fair at all!

    my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer at the beginning of october... but the year prior, she found a lump and the doctor (after doing about 18 mammograms) told her that it was just calcified deposits and not to worry.. so she went about her business for a year and this time around they actually did biposy the spots and they came back cancerous. they same day she found out, she went in to meet with a counselor and 2 surgeons (1 was the plastics surgeon. ) so all that said and done, she just had a bilateral mastectomy on tuesday we are still waiting for the pathology reports back on that, she also had the expanders put in behind her muscles to get her ready for implants down the road so she is extremely sore right now.

    ...She is home from the hospital now.. though i think its rather early for her to be home (thank our lovely insurance companies for that one...) she seems to be happy to be back in a familiar environment... sore... can barely walk/talk/breathe... but happy to be home. She has been in fairly good spirits, but i dont think the whole process has really sunk in yet...

    As for me, i'm to the point where i feel like i have to hide my breast around her... almost like i feel guilty that she had to have hers taken from her and i still have mine. I have literally come to hate my breast and i just want mine gone too. its like i've disconnected myself from them because i dont want to have the attachment just incase that it ends up happening to me down the line... and i've already caught myself asking my fiance if he's still going to love me if this happens to me.

    **have any of you experienced like a sympathy pain??** stupid i know... but they hurt.

    i realize that i'm kinda all over the place here... i apologize.. but i'm just trying to get this all off my chest.

    any advice, insight... anything would be greatly appreciated right now... i'm not really sure where what happens next...

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  • Sunris
    Sunris Member Posts: 120
    edited October 2009

    Hi Kira,

    I am sorry that you are having to endure this pain  / anger / frustration etc..   I am also sorry to hear that your mother was diagnosed with cancer.

    Indeed we have all felt exactly what you described.  Truth is, theres simply just not a thing in the world we can do to change it.  Accept it maybe, but not change it. 

    I wish I had some miracle answer for you, but I really dont.  I will keep you and your mom in my prayers though.

    Big hugs,

    Dawn

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  • debbie6122
    debbie6122 Member Posts: 5,161
    edited October 2009

    Kira~Im sorry that your mom has had to go thru this, this desease is horrible and one i wouldnt wish on my worst enemy, I know you are angry she has had to go thru this, she is going to need your love and support, which im sure she will get from you and your family, You are going to have to be strong for her, although it is always hard on family and friends it not somthing people can understand untill you have gone thru it your self, i think your mom would never want you to have to lose your breast to cancer or for any reason, and you shouldnt feel guilty that you still have them, in fact you should be grateful that you still do, and just concentrate on helping your mom, you have come to the right place for support and questions and we will be here for any advice you may need for your mom-(((((((((hugssssss)))))))

    debbie

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