Stage Less than 4 Woman...Here's YOUR place..

Hi I'm the perp who started this mess.  I didn't realize the gravity of my political incorrectness as i have only posted in IDC, Radiation and just diagnosed (I think that's all).  I had read the IV site (started just recently with heidi and was torn apart by her struggle but I saw the compassion in that site).  SO, I thought they would be compassionate in answering a simple question.  I was wrong.  I don't blame them because I didn't know of their history of being perturbed by non-iv'er.  I wasn't doing it because I wanted a 'phew, I'm going to be okay" I did it because I know my history of bad luck and if any Stage I (and they do) will become a stage IV, it will probably be me too.  I don't have friends I can even talk to about this because my best friend in this town has Stage IV lung cancer and I support him and repress how I'm doing by saying nothing and then my BEST friend in the world has a sister with stage IV ovarian cancer (she is also my friend too) and I would gladly trade places with her as she has kids and grandkids and I'm and 'old maid' with no family at all.  When I go, that's the end of the line so who cares.  Please don't think I am a callous person asking the women of stage IV a breezy little question.  I just thought I would find some answers.  I did find compassion and I appreciate the women who pm'ed me.  I find the internet interesting because i'll be you ten dollars none of those people, even with all that is going on in their and their friends lives, would have been that mean to me to my face.  The anonomity of the internet makes some people bullies.  Thanks is just the way it is.  To those of you who don't hate me, thanks.

Becky

London-Virginia nice to see you too well you know what I mean. I always read your posts in different threads.

Dawnbelle,,My friend when you changed your avatar it took me a while to find you, I read your posts you are a funny  very funny woman. We missed you on the other threads. Good luck with your surgery.

Good for you lexi. you opened this thread and stayed on the top and replying everyones post.

Good morning ladies I'm still trying to fully wake up the coffee in my hand.  lol

Hugs to all my BC sisters,

Sheila

Dear Sue, Krista's mom

I'm an old bag myself (57 years) I don't feel old and I don't actually act old and I hope I don't look old either...but I probably do, at least my right boob does.  As long as I'm around, I'll welcome your friendship!  Hope all will be well with your friend shirley. 

Becky

Hello...

Becky you write to me anytime for encouragement and support!  Friendship is a guarantee!

I have been following both of these threads and can't believe how much of it has gone out of control...and you are right...i feel somehow like I am watching Mean Girls or definately back at highscool...but it is what it is. 

I think we need to not lose focus of what this site has does for us....the friendships we have built and the support that we have gained.

When I came here 2 years ago scared out of my whits (sp) and completely insane there were a group of Stage iv women that helped me along...most of which I met in the chatroom....but bless all of them for their friendship.  Neither of them were afraid to answer my questions but they were there to guide me a long through the decision process, surgeries, radiation, and Tamoxifin aka the "hell pill"!   I love them all dearly:  Saint, Watson, Mazy, Nancy, KBugmom, Cuddles, Ausborn.  Oh my if I have missed anyone off the list I am truly sorry.... but if you know me..you know my head! 

And to top that list off..there is a group of about 40 other chatters that have helped me along the way back to some form of sanity....and to all of you I am ever so greatful.

Again...thank you for the kindness, support and friendship!

Kosh

 I've gained so much support from women here.  They have made an intolerable journey totally manageable.  I am forever grateful for the kindness and grace I've encountered.  when I was first diagnosed I couldn't come.. as if my nonparticipation in a breast cancer forum somehow made my diagnosis less real.

I am remember being sooooooooo scared, so very frightened and disheartened.  Now, I don't know what I would do without you all.

Diagnosis: 5/10/2008, IDC, 5cm, Stage IIIc, Grade 3, 4/9 nodes, ER+

Then crocs it shall be - that sounds good to me (but God they are comfy but horribly ugly).

Linda

Well, how about a new subject.  I went and bought a 'Kate Gosselin' wig to scare the kiddies at the door on Halloween!  LOL!  I look fabulous!

You know, I think sometimes we (all of us!) get so invested in being "right" that we lose sight of what's important. I know I'm guilty of picking up an argument and keeping a thread alive when, in fact, it would be best to let it slowly fade into oblivion.

Everybody has bad days, everybody makes mistakes, and everybody is entitled to a bad mood every now and than. Honestly, I don't think that I, even though I have stage IV disease, have cornered the market on pain and suffering. EVERYBODY has challenges and difficult times in this life; this just happens to be mine. And, even IF I am suffering "more" (how do you even measure that?) than someone else, it gives me no right whatsoever to try and share the pain and bring them down too.

I have noticed over the last year that everyone, everywhere seems to have just a little less patience. Maybe it's my perspective, but I do see a lot of nastiness that I don't remember seeing in the past. I suppose that the state of affairs worldwide have brought about more suffering as of late than most of us have ever dealt with. And, truth be told, it is a rare person that can gracefully navigate through it all without producing at least some "minor" collateral damage. "Strangers" seem to be most vulnerable because we feel "safe" in attacking because we are not emotionally invested in them. It's a shameful, horrible truth, but sometimes when we feel badly we attack others because we can.

All that being said, I do wish we could drop these sort of things quickly and move on rather than re-hashing, re-arguing, re-defending, and re-igniting the issues! 

I don't "know" many of you, but I have "seen" some of you here and there. When I was first diagnosed (was stage IV from the start) I had lots more energy and my treatments were really quite tolerable. I used to park myself at the active topics and would respond to newbies (although I was always worried about frightening them with my dx!) and often found posts that were not located in the forum best suited for the subject matter. I frequently re-posted for the newbie and led them to the "right" place.

I responded to Dawnbelle yesterday (not sure if she saw it <waving>!) that she was, in fact, correct that the stage IV forum was the "right" place for Brookside to post. The thing is, those of us who have been here a while were here and suggested the moderators add another section for question like Becky had. I know that I personally had assumed the moderators made the purpose of the "worried about stage IV" section clear. I honestly was quite shocked when I visited it for the first time yesterday. The subtitling does NOT make clear that someone with a question like Becky's should be posted there. It's a shame because there are many posters who monitor that board to answer questions (as I would be doing if I had the "oomph" that seems to have left me as of late). Then, a complete innocent with every right to a thoughtful, respectful, and caring response posts in the "wrong" place and the fire's been lit. I really believe that many of the negative and attacking posts were made by people like me who had assumed the moderators had made the purpose of the "worried" section clear.

Well, I've rambled and probably talked a bit in circles--that's what pre-med steroids does to me! Watch out, I'll be a posting fool for the next 18 hours or so.

I just want to say I'm sorry to anyone I offended and that I personally appreciate and respect you all. I hold no ill feelings for Becky; I truly feel so badly that she was hurt when she is in an already vulnerable and frightened state. 

So, olive branch? Please? Can we just forget about which "team" we are on and accept each other--warts and all? It pains me so to see such sniping and negativity when I know that we are all better than that. This board has been a tremendous blessing to me and I hope it can be to those who come after me. If we keep up the conflict and negativity, though--that's not going to happen.

Friends?

(((HUGS)))
Diane

Ladies I luv all stages,

Wanted to let you know that not all stage 4's share the same opinions. I am seriously thinking about removing my diagnosis so I wont be grouped where I dont want grouped. (Did that make sense?) Anyways..I dont want enemies and I care just as much about you if you are stage 0 as if you are stage 4. It is true that stage 4 is a different egg and I wish I was still stage 2b, but I certainly dont feel I am more important than any of you.

 I was slammed so hard the last time this feud was going on that I almost left this site. I cried for days. But then I realized that I am entitled to my opinions just as much as anyone else is here. If I choose to accept questions from all stages...then that shouldnt be a problem to anyone else. I am not taking sides..I am voicing my opinion yet again. I dont post much on the stage 4 forum because of passed experiences. But I do post in other areas more.

I hope no one leaves the site over the present feud.

If a troll or sales person comes a knockin..I am the first to turn them away. But otherwise I am there for all stages.

These are my opinions and choices...for those of you who dont like it..please just move on.

(And yes I will ignore any nasty PMs or emails)

Mazy, you are a sweetheart with a generous and humble spirit.  Thank you for shining a light.

Hear, hear, Diane!

Like Smokey Robinson said, I second that emotion! 

peace to all

Lisa 

LOL Athena--I've been asked that before but no, it's not a cow. It's my best friend, Oscar. He was a brindle boxer who was just the best dog ever! He would have been 8 years old this past August, but developed serious abdominal/digestive problems and had to be put to sleep in June. I just love that picture, though; Oscar loved everybody--even little stinker cats like "Steve" who is the kitty in the picture. I often wish I had as much patience, enthusiasm, and capacity for unconditional love as my "BigDog" buddy had!

(((HUGS)))
Diane