Really need advice.....

Options
lakegirl1018
lakegirl1018 Member Posts: 1
edited June 2014 in Caring for Someone with Breast cancer

Hi, I have a girlfriend from high school that was diagnosed with breast cancer 3 years ago and successfully underwent treatment.  She's a very private person and did not want anyone to know.  We were very good friends growing up but had lost touch, we're both 50 years old.  We saw each other 2 years ago at a reunion and we briefly discussed her treatment and had a great time all evening catching up on each other lives.  Now I've heard that my friend had to undergo another round of chemo, had her gallbladder removed and the cancer has spread to her liver.  She is not answering phone calls or emails.  I bought a "Thinking of You" card which I have not sent.  I sit here staring at it as I don't know what to say.  I don't want to invade her pricacy, how can I help her and what's the right thing to say in the card? 

· Share on FacebookShare on Twitter

Comments

  • rhy
    rhy Member Posts: 16
    edited October 2009

    My wife just finished her chemo and is getting ready to start radiation.  She got many cards and many of them are still unopened.  I don't think she minded getting the cards, but it was just too hard for her to read them and think about the cancer.  I would say send the card, but don't be upset if you don't hear from her for a while. 

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • iodine
    iodine Member Posts: 4,289
    edited October 2009

    As a survivor, I've learned one thing: there is no right thing to say.  If you are comfortable, just send the card as "thinking of you", because that's what you are doing.  Just let her know there are folks out there who still care about how she is doing.  Don't forget to add your telephone number and maybe your email addy. 

    If she doesn't respond, that is certainly her choice but you will have done what you feel comfortable doing, and who knows, maybe she will be very happy to hear from you.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • allalone
    allalone Member Posts: 448
    edited January 2011

    If your friend has someone to take care of her, then send the card wishing her well and it will be appreciated. If she's alone and not answering phone calls or emails then people are probably draining her energy just wanting to talk. The only type of support I needed after surgery was home help - shopping, cleaning, etc. - and in her present circumstances maybe she needs someone actually living-in with her. Depending upon how much you want to get involved, and how far away you live from her, I'd send the card with a practical offer of help (which she may or may not want, but at least you made the offer).

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • CapeBretongirl
    CapeBretongirl Member Posts: 364
    edited October 2009

    Dear lakegirl;  I didn't reply to the cards people sent me.  But, I was deeply touched by the cards.  Please send it.  Your friend will appreciate it.  Hugs Angel

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • sivanco
    sivanco Member Posts: 17
    edited October 2009

    Even when I do not respond to my kind friends and family, a card that they are thinking of me is held dear to the heart. I personally do not want people to see me down and therefor do not respnd.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter

Categories