My mom's experience

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Member_of_the_Club
Member_of_the_Club Member Posts: 3,646
edited June 2014 in Palliative Therapy/Hospice Care

My mother died last night from brain cancer and I thought I would share just how wonderful the home hospice people were.  They provided everything she needed for comfort and responded to every call and need from me, even in the middle of the night.  The day before she died my mother started having seizures every few minutes.  The hospice nurses talked me through several medications that we tried.  They didn't help.  The next morning a hospice nurse came out and spent four hours with my mother, trying to solve the problem.  Then a doctor from hospice came and spent another hour and a half.  Throughout he was asking me about my mother's life and treating her with incredible care and respect, even though she was in a coma.  He concluded that she wasn't experiencng any discomfort but prescribed a medication anyway that stopped the seizures.  My mother died hours later, peaceful.  The hospice folks will continue to check in on me and my family.

 I am just amazed by the care and attention my mother received from home hospice, even when she had only hours to live.  It was unlike any other experience I;ve had with medical professionals.  Just very loving and attentive. 

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  • everyminute
    everyminute Member Posts: 1,805
    edited October 2009

    I am sorry for your loss.  I am glad that hospice was able to ease the situation for you and for your mom.

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  • OneBadBoob
    OneBadBoob Member Posts: 1,386
    edited October 2009

    My deepest sympathy for your loss, Member.

    May your Mom soar with the Angels!

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  • Lindissima
    Lindissima Member Posts: 239
    edited October 2009

    Dear Member,

    I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your mother.  I  lost my own mother  to bladder cancer this year and I agree that people who  are drawn to hospice work are uniqely caring and compassionate.  I felt it was a gift to be at home to care for my mother and they helped make that possible.

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  • fmakj
    fmakj Member Posts: 1,278
    edited October 2009

    My sincerest sympathies go out to you on the loss of your mother.  It is wonderful to know that there are some really loving and caring people out there who will be there until the end.  Thank you for your post.

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  • Marple
    Marple Member Posts: 19,143
    edited October 2009

    I'm so sorry to hear of your Mother's passing Member.  It is nice to know that you (and she) were comforted by such caring people.  My deepest sympathy to you and your family.  Gentle hugs.

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  • Dejaboo
    Dejaboo Member Posts: 2,916
    edited October 2009

    Im so Sorry to hear about your Mom.

    She is pain free now.

    That is very nice to hear how good Hospice was & all of the people that were there helping you & your Mom.

    My Thoughts & Prayers are with you.

    Pam

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  • dlb823
    dlb823 Member Posts: 9,430
    edited October 2009

    (((Member_of_the_Club)))  I'm so very sorry to hear about your Mother.  It's wonderful that hospice made it possible for you to be there for her and take care of her at the end. 

    Thinking of you, and wishing you peace in the days ahead  ~  Deanna   

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  • Fitztwins
    Fitztwins Member Posts: 7,969
    edited October 2009

    Thank you so much for sharing. It brings me peace.

    Janis

    xo

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  • hollyann
    hollyann Member Posts: 2,992
    edited October 2009

    (((((MOC)))))))So sorry for your loss.......I am glad the hospice people were able to help put you at ease.......Now your mom is no longer suffering and is at peace........I know how it feels to watch your mom go......I saw my mom pass when I was 8 and it was so peaceful.....She had such a wonderful smile on her face......

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  • ElaineD
    ElaineD Member Posts: 2,265
    edited October 2009

    Condolences on your sad and irreplaceable loss. But how comforting to us all, to hear how well she was treated in those final days.

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  • HelenaJ
    HelenaJ Member Posts: 1,133
    edited October 2009

    My deepest condolensces MOTC, it is terribly sad to lose a mother at any age.  I am glad both your mother and you received compassionate and professional assistance in those last hours. My thoughts are with you.

    soft hugs

    Helena

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  • leaf
    leaf Member Posts: 8,188
    edited October 2009

    I'm so sorry this happened to you, Member, but I'm so glad hospice was there for you and your mom.  I know the weeks and months ahead will be tough for you.  But I hope during your grief that the love in your heart gets even stronger and deeper than before. 

    With sympathy, leaf

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  • EGAL
    EGAL Member Posts: 539
    edited October 2009

    Dear Member~

      I am so sorry for your loss.  I am grateful that your mom passed without any discomfort. 

     Ellen

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  • dreamwriter
    dreamwriter Member Posts: 3,255
    edited October 2009

    I am sorry for your loss and glad the hospice made the experience gentle and loving.

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  • Artemis
    Artemis Member Posts: 759
    edited October 2009

    (((MOTC)))

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  • Bitsy
    Bitsy Member Posts: 10
    edited October 2009

    I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Watching her go in Peace with Dignity had to be a blessing. Thank God for people who truly care and are there to help, whether it's their job or not. May your Mom sail across the heavens with a smile upon her face, finally at home.

    God Bless!

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  • nowheregirl
    nowheregirl Member Posts: 894
    edited October 2009

                 

    Oh Member, I just read this. I am so terribly sorry about your loss. My thoughts are with you. And thank you for sharing your experience with the hospice with us.

    Hugs,

    Fumi

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  • konakat
    konakat Member Posts: 6,085
    edited October 2009

    I'm very sorry about the loss of your Mom.  It was very kind of you to share your and your Mom's experience with Hospice.  Thank-you.  It does bring me peace, as Fitz said too.

    Elizabeth

    xox

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  • Leah_S
    Leah_S Member Posts: 8,458
    edited October 2009

    My condolences on the passing of your dear mother. I'm glad the hospice people were there to ease her passing. May G-d send you comfort.

    Leah

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  • Member_of_the_Club
    Member_of_the_Club Member Posts: 3,646
    edited October 2009

    Thank you everyone.  I think like everything else, hospice organizations vary and while most are great, some are more great than others.  It may be worth it to ask around about the reputation of hospices in your area.  Some other things I learned:

    Its best to talk to the hospice folks earlier rather than later.  My mother had deteriorated so much by the time we brought in hospice that they were able to serve her physical needs but never were able to communicate with her about her emotional needs.  There is so much more they can do if they are brought in earlier and they can get to know the patient's personality and preferences directly.

    Also, I think you need to be direct with your needs.  There were two times the hospice nurse visited and said she would return in a few days, but I found my mother was deteriorating so quickly that I called the next day to have a nurse come back. They were very responsive, but if they're not there, they don't know how things are going so its important to speak up.  If you are checking out several hospices, I would ask how they respond to such situations.

    Finally, I wanted everyone who was caring for my mother to know who she was, especially when she was beyond the point of being able to communicate herself.  When she was hospitalized I brought pictures of her, healthy, with my father (who died 10 years ago) to her room so the doctors and nurses would see someone other than the very sick woman in the bed.  I told the hospice workers about her and her life.  I have no idea if these things affected her care but i felt it was something I could do to maintain her dignity and humanity when she couldn't speak for herself.   

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  • NancyD
    NancyD Member Posts: 3,562
    edited October 2009

    MOTC, my condolences. My family, too, had a very postive experience with our local hospice organization when my mother died.  We had a nurse there 24/7 the last week of her life.  The drs were on call and knew where there was a 24hr pharmacy, something that  was hard to find in our area, then.

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  • konakat
    konakat Member Posts: 6,085
    edited October 2009

    Good advice MOTC -- It's better to interview hospices in your area than have to make a too fast choice and not get what you need/feel comfortable with.  Thank-you again.  You really made me feel a lot better about what's "down the road".  Hugs,

    Elizabeth

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