Looking for advice

Options
worrieddaughter2
worrieddaughter2 Member Posts: 2
edited June 2014 in Caring for Someone with Breast cancer

My mom had a masectomey of her left breast, she did good with the surgery. They took her lymph nodes because a couple looked  suspcous.

My concern is her state of mind. Her everythought is consumed with cancer. she talks about the same thing over and over. We try and talk about other stuff to keep her mind away from it, but the conversation goes right back to it. When we try and talk positive about it she turns it back into negative and worry. I dont try and pretend that I know what she is going thru, because I dont. But this is hard on the whole family, especially my dad. He said the night before the surgery she talked to 6 hrs straight about. It really makes it hard to be around her, and I hate to feel this way.

She reluctantly agreed to have someone from a support group call her, she doesnt have many friends or invloved in anything.

· Share on FacebookShare on Twitter

Comments

  • konakat
    konakat Member Posts: 6,085
    edited October 2009

    Your Mom is scared, and rightfully so.  Validate her feelings, don't try to change the topic.  That's probably why she's talking so much about her cancer -- no one's listening!!  She needs support from her family now.  Think of her, what she's facing.  It's not about you --  she's the one facing cancer.  Listen to her, support her.  You might regret it in the future if you don't.

    And yes, it was a good idea to put her in touch with a support group.  Also, if she isn't interested in a support group hospitals have an oncology social worker that can help.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • roseg
    roseg Member Posts: 3,133
    edited October 2009

    Some people are big talkers. Has she always been this way?

    I read something once that said that a diagnosis of cancer will make you become MORE like yourself. So if a person is a chatterbox you could expect them to go non-stop. If they are the quiet type they'd get even more quiet. It's just the way people cope.

    So is your Mom on the chatterbox side of things usually?

    You don't have to hang on every word she says, if you can put up with her and say unhu sometimes she should feel like you care. I think having her call the American Cancer Society might help. They have brave volunteers who are used to this kind of thing. A support group is another good option, although sometimes non-stop talkers are unhappy if other people want their turn.

    Please put up with her. It won't last forever. She might be happy to come here as there are a lot of people who need a lot more support than their families and friends are able to give them. Just take a look at how many posts I have underneath my name!

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter

Categories