Starting Chemo October 2009

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  • mossybaby
    mossybaby Member Posts: 49
    edited October 2009

    Starting a second round of chemo Monday Oct 18th.

    First was TAC 6x every 3 weeks - minimal effectivness with my chemistry.

    This new regime will be the combination of Ixempra & Xeloda.  Ixempra infusion on day 1 then 14 days of Xeloda pills.

    I guess it will be the same side effects - YUCK!!!!!!

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  • Sido
    Sido Member Posts: 234
    edited October 2009

    Tomorrow is my big day.  I've been lurking more than posting just because I can only say that I'm afraid and don't want to do this so many times before it becomes tiresome.  Everyone sharing their experiences has really been helpful, if a bit bracing.  Thanks to all of you I know that I can do it.  My couselor quoted a saying about showing up being half the battle, and there is no question that I will show up.  I also have some fierce pueple suede boots to wear, so I'm hoping the rain will take a break tomorrow!  They're actually talking a little snow mixed in overnight...how insane is this?!!

    We're also cutting off my hair tomorrow.  I have scarves and hats and I really don't want to wait for it to fall out.  At least I can do this much on my own terms.  I'm hoping for a Natalie Portman in V is for Vendetta look, thouth I'm not nearly as tiny as she is.

    I'm going to go back to earlier posts for lists for my "chemo bag" to be ready for tomorrow. 

    Be well everyone and thanks for letting me be part of the October call, it has been a real comfort.

    Sido

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  • lainieo
    lainieo Member Posts: 53
    edited October 2009

    Thank you to everyone for sharing their experiences!  It really helps. My chemo starts Oct. 29th and there are days that I am fine and days that I am nervous about the whole experience.  I went back to work this past Tuesday and it felt good to get back into a routine.  I am a teacher and the support at my school has been great. Good luck to everyone!

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  • valeriekd
    valeriekd Member Posts: 287
    edited October 2009

    Hi Yvonne, read your post and wanted to let you now that i really feel bad for you, you did all that w/ not much of a result - that s-cks. Keep us in the loop as to your progress and good luck!Valerie

    PS I got a port for just 6 txs b/c of the toxicity of the chems to the skin, crummy veins - not a big deal. Gonna get a wig 2 morro. V.

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  • MaryNY
    MaryNY Member Posts: 1,584
    edited October 2009

    Sido: Good luck tomorrow. Hoping the rain holds off so you can show your true fierceness in those boots.

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  • ReneeJean
    ReneeJean Member Posts: 100
    edited October 2009

    Well, my hair was coming out in handfuls today...I could notice it was thinner but no one else could...but it drove me nutts all day....shedding terribly.  So I called my mom and she met me at my father's barber shop and the wife shaved my head without a guard...I only cried a little bit in the shop, but I have been crying off and on all night.  I wore a baseball cap home and immediately put on a wig at home.  I think they all look stupid....but.....   I have let my husband see my mastectomy incisions from day one, but I don't want him to see me bald.  How jacked up is that?  And I just wish I didn't care so much......   I wish I could be braver or more gracious about this...maybe that will come.  Right now I am seriously mourning my hair loss.  I HATE this disease!

    Sorry, I wish I could offer words of comfort for those of you to come to this point, but I can't right now.  It sucks.  Period.  I am sure I will adjust and it will get better.  And I will have the next 50 years to grow my hair (and I just may never cut it again...LOL).   So, when I get up in the morning, I will try to focus on that fact.....

    Hugs to all of you... 

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  • unklezwifeonty
    unklezwifeonty Member Posts: 1,710
    edited October 2009

    ReneeJean,

    DH buzzed mine off yesterday. It was difficult to accept but today it looks better. The silly man says he loves me more like this ....

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  • micheleboots
    micheleboots Member Posts: 1,993
    edited October 2009

    hi,

    My first treatment is today. AAHHHH. Say a prayer..

    Michele

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  • MaryNY
    MaryNY Member Posts: 1,584
    edited October 2009

    Hi Michele: I had you listed as starting Oct 7 on FEC followed by Taxol (or Taxotere?). How many doses are you supposed to get? Are you still going to get a taxane too? That seems a little unusual. Usually it seems to be CAF or FEC alone.

    Good luck today. When do you have to be there?

    Sido starts today too. She's going to be on TC x 4.

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  • micheleboots
    micheleboots Member Posts: 1,993
    edited October 2009

    Mary,

     I am set for 2:30.  I start with FEC x6 with Taxotere as well for the last three..I feel like I am about to get on a rollercoaster ride of my life.  I hope I don't forget my barfbag.  Haha.  Hopefuly I won't need it.

    Michele

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  • Hopbird
    Hopbird Member Posts: 387
    edited October 2009

    Hi everyone...

    Just wanted to wish those starting today good luck...and minimal SEs.  I remember all of the anxiety..I was in tears while sitting in the chair waiting for them to access my port.  They asked whether I was nervous about the port access....well, yes, but really I was nervous about the whole blanking thing!  It is best just to get going...at least you know what you're dealing with.

    And to those with hair coming out....big hugs.  I was at that point a week ago...cut it short, but never got completely rid of it.  It's still shedding, but I keep it "contained" and then just shake it out when I pull off my headcover.

    Everyone's different, and I wear a wig for work (I work part time) and sometimes to go to the grocery or whatever, but around the house and for some errands I do prefer scarves/caps.  My favorite new find has to do with a headcovering that I wanted for working out.  It was a bandanna, which a lot of people work out in.   But, they don't completely cover the head.  This one is attached to a t-shirt kind of knit cap, so if the bandanna flips up or whatever there is just a cap underneath.  I like it so much I wore it to Target after working out.  Yep, I'm the energizer bunny today, going everywhere (with my hand sanitizer in tow).  Monday I go for round 3 and I will not feel like doing any of this for a few days, but today is good! 

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  • unklezwifeonty
    unklezwifeonty Member Posts: 1,710
    edited October 2009

    Dear Michelle,

    Hope your first chemo was ok.

    Love,

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  • MaryNY
    MaryNY Member Posts: 1,584
    edited October 2009

    Hopbird, I'm trying hard to imagine what you mean about the bandanna head covering. Can you point me to a picture of something like it.

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  • jeanl151
    jeanl151 Member Posts: 146
    edited October 2009

    hi MaryNY... can you add me to the Oct 09 chemo group.  I have posted a couple of times on this thread and sure enough I will begin chemo Oct 28th.  I will be having T/C once every 3 weeks.

    -  Valerie, glad you are doing okay. you are correct the doctor has a sleepy way about him but very nice.  I was wondering what makes a doctor decide some people have a port and others don't?  My onc never mentioned it at my first visit.   If I am having chemo 6 times, do I need it?

    ReneeJean- your words made me cry...I don't know why the hair thing is so emotional but boy is it. 

     All the October pink thing is getting to me....it seems to get me to the anger part of dealing with it. I am aware of bc, I have bc and don't want it!!!!!!  I think I am just getting more anxious as chemo approaches.

     best wishes to those beginning chemo this week,  Jean

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  • valeriekd
    valeriekd Member Posts: 287
    edited October 2009

    Hey Jean ! Glad you made it thru the day- we r on the same protocol , I will be doing tx #2 the day after your first one. I know it will go well they are so nice, so careful and really kind of pampering in a way which sounds kind of strange but it feels as if u r the only concern for them. You will most likely get a port the day of your first infusion (did u have an axillary node dissection? ) If u can use both arms for blood draws and infusion that may be a difference but I was told b/c of the comfort of the infusion and the toxicity of the med a port was best but I could have  only used left arm and my veins are small. They can get "burned". But they will let u know the schedule of the day as it approaches along w/ any pre-tests. 

    I got one of those bandana hats too from an on-line store. Won't need it til next week but I like it also - I got it from an "images" store. Got a wig today - not too bad but bring a friend , I'm glad I did. Best and love to all - Valeriekd PS I got enough hair to donate for kids' cancer wigs! (I like that)Laughing

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  • RaiderDee
    RaiderDee Member Posts: 150
    edited October 2009

    Hi MaryNY, I need to be added to the starting chemo in Oct. as well. I will be starting Oct. 22nd.  AC X 4 then Taxotere X 4 every three weeks for 6 months.   I've been a lurker as well for quite awhile but have been getting great tips for what to expect as far as SE's and the chemo kit I need to get together now that I will finally be starting next week.  My chemo has been delayed due to a nasty infection in a TE that had to unfortunately be removed last month. It's not like I've been looking forward to chemo but I am tired of waiting to get on with it all so I can get on with my "new normal" life.  I hope everyone who is ahead of me in their treatment is doing well. 

    Good luck to all of us!

    Dee

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  • jeanl151
    jeanl151 Member Posts: 146
    edited October 2009

    hi Valerie, I did have the auxillary node dissection. In fact I just got put on meds for an infection at the site of the drain.  Hopefully it will be gone so I can start the chemo on the 28th.  I am still having limited movement with that arm.  

     Tuesday I have a nurse giving me a chemo class. Is that when they will discuss the port? I am not sure if I see the doctor before the 28th.

       Your bandana sounds cute. I got a box of hats from heavenlyhats today. I also ordered a scarf from franceluxe.com.  I will check into the wig next.

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  • micheleboots
    micheleboots Member Posts: 1,993
    edited October 2009

    Hello, oWell I made it through my first chemo...It was a lot easier than I thaught.  The nurses were amazing.  I am home and just waiting to see what happens next.  Hopefuly it is just a good night sleep.

    Michele

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  • MaryNY
    MaryNY Member Posts: 1,584
    edited October 2009

    Welcome Dee and Jean, I've added you to the list.

    Dee, I know what you mean about getting started. I wish I was starting sooner but I still have to have some appts before my first Tx. Onc wants me to go back for another breast MRI as a "just in case." I have that on Monday, so just hoping they don't find anything.

    Jean, you start the same day as me. How many doses of TC are you scheduled for? It's usually four or six. Hey, I got some hats from Heavenly Hats today too. Such a nice surprise. I'd forgotten that I e-mailed them. There are two Kangol caps and two crochet caps, the latter look to be handmade.

    Michele, glad to hear the day went well.

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  • jeanl151
    jeanl151 Member Posts: 146
    edited October 2009

    Mary, I will be having 6 treatments of the TC, once every 3 weeks. I will have 6 weeks of radiation after that.   I will be thinking of you on the 28th. Hopefully we will sail through smoothly.

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  • valeriekd
    valeriekd Member Posts: 287
    edited October 2009

    Hey Jean, The infection won't stop the chemo - I had strep throat and was on anti-bios 4 days into chemo but that was ok as my white blood cells would not be low before I finished them. The mtg I had w/ chemo nurse I felt was a wate of time I'm sorry to say. She went over side effects, etc, things I had already gotten from combing web sites since DX but she might be a differnet gal or have more to say. Any pre-tests? Oh, There is a really nice woman in Shrewsbury who does  wigs for chemo pts if u want info.

    Congratulations Michelle, I was so flushed after my infusion -people kept telling me how great I looked "so much color" I had to remind them it was like a sunset that was colorful cuz of pollution -not really a "healthy" glow. Anyway, Here is to minimal SEs! Peace Valeriekd 

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  • Sido
    Sido Member Posts: 234
    edited October 2009

    Like Michele I made it through my first chemo.  Other than some wicked reflux at the very end of the cytoxan dose, it went smoothly.  Other than being very tired and having little appetite, I too am waiting to see what happens.  I'm surprised at my Decadron reaction though.  Everyone talked about it amping them up and keeping them awake, but I haven't felt any real effects.  I slept fine last night and just got up from a nap a little over an hour ago.

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  • unklezwifeonty
    unklezwifeonty Member Posts: 1,710
    edited October 2009

    Dear Sido,

    They gave you some sedatives also. You went to bed 2 nights ago :)

    Love

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  • one-L
    one-L Member Posts: 1,110
    edited October 2009

    Good Evening everyone,

    Onty -- I will do some checking and see what I can find out.

    Reneejean -- you will have the next 50 years to grow hair but that does not change the fact that it is going away.  You will get through this and move on to the next phase of this disease.  Extra hugs to you. 

    Why is it that we focus on our hair and hold it in such high esteem?  I cried all day the day I received my dx, but moved on and got settled in.  Well, I just can't seem to get past the fact of losing my hair.  I cry when I comb it and cry each time I think about getting it cut.  My DH mentioned something about it tonight and the next thing he knows I a crying like a baby.  He didn't hurt my feelings, it was just tooooooo much.   I guess those emotions have to be directed at something.

     I called the Med Onc today to see when I would start chemo after my port is placed on Wednesday.  They want to start it that day and I said OK, but I think I will  change it to Friday.  I am so tired  of making decisions.

    It sounds like everyone has been busy, either preparing for treatment, getting treatment or dealing with ses.  I hope everyone has a good weekend and find something to keep their minds off of all these things.

    Hugs,

    Juannelle

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  • unklezwifeonty
    unklezwifeonty Member Posts: 1,710
    edited October 2009

    Dear 1L,

    It is funny but possibly true that if we had to choose between hair and breast we would feel more attached to the hair. This disease started for us in the breast and we are probably accept more easily that part that caused trouble should go. But when cancer (its treatment really) takes away our hair, which is arguably one of our more used accessory and asset, it is a little hard.

    Yes please do find out about the pros/cons of Port/PICC lines vs using your veins. To get the Port/PICC line inserted you will need 1 IV and to remove it possibly another, so all you will save by getting a PICC/Port is two needle pricks in your veins!

    Some people will tell you that your skin or tissue may get damaged from chemo. But that happens only if the IV is not inserted into the vein. I personally have never had a badly inserted IV.

    Some people will tell you that the vein in which IV is inserted will get more damaged from chemo. But that can happen only if you have really really bad circulation.

    The Ports and PICC lines are really meant for chemo nurses' convenience. For 4 or even 6 chemos given over 2-3 months you should be really sure you want to subject your body to more incisions, bruises (possibly permanent), possible infections (more likely with PICC line) and a bump (in case of port) on your chest. 

    Have a GREAT weekend.

    Love,

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  • joanneasiata
    joanneasiata Member Posts: 719
    edited October 2009

    oh ladies iv just been reading  all the messages left and to the ones who are now doing their chemo it seems that there are bad days and some good ones  we just have to go on swimming with the flow and try not to go against it  im with the other ladies i start on 23 rd trying not to worrie the hair thing is really bad for me ive just cut mine short and i think the day i start chemo im running a number 3 over it i just couldnt bear to see my hair falling out every day toooo hard i think well just be gone with it as one lady said this is somethink that we can take control on  im wishing  everyone so much love and strengh for the days ahead       Joanne

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  • ReneeJean
    ReneeJean Member Posts: 100
    edited October 2009

    Well, I got through today with a wig on from 6am until 10pm...I couldn't wait to get home and get it off my head.  I was glad I had to go to work today or I would have stayed in bed all day with the covers pulled over my head......   I cried for hours last night, literally.  My husband didn't know what to do.  He told me tonight that it seemed I took losing my hair worse than losing my boobs and I told him I did.  My boobs had cancer---they had to go!  And I can wear clothing to cover my body and my TE's are doing a good job of making me look like I have some boobage!  But my hair is an innocent bystander in this war.....and it is impossible to 'hide' the fact that I don't have hair.  I don't want to have people look at me and think 'cancer' or pity me.  I am healthy and energetic....I don't think of myself as 'sick' and I don't want others to either.   And there is the vanity pure and simple......  And I hate that it has bothered me so.  I hate that I have cried more for my silly hair than I have for my boobs, surgery or chemo!   I hate how I look without hair..I am NOT Demi or Brittany...    And yes, it is better today so I know it will be better tomorrow and the next...each day will bring me closer to some peace with this.  But damn.....

    And I love the idea of the bandana with a knit cap attached...where did y'all find those?  I was just wondering what to wear at the gym...something that will stay put and absorb sweat. 

    To those begining and those continueing your treatments....stay strong...tell your oncologist and nurse about every SE you have....rest....eat well.....and try to walk every day no matter what...even if just to the mailbox.....fresh air and moving will help all of us.   My prayers and good thoughts are with each of you.  We will all come out the other side stronger and amazed at ourselves for dealing with this in our own way.   I need to focus on what I will be doing this time next year---when I have new foobs and some hair---how life will return close to 'normal' or at least a new normal that is okay.   Hugs ladies.

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  • snuziq
    snuziq Member Posts: 107
    edited October 2009

    ReneeJean, reading your last post I can't help but think of a t-shirt I saw.  It says "Of course they're fake.  My real ones were killing me." Embarassed 

    I agree that your hair is an "innocent bystander" and I find myself a little upset by its loss.  The weird thing is that I thought I was prepared.  Initially I cut my hair short to a bob, now it is in a boy cut - about an inch on top and shorter sides.   Yesterday I was fine with the fact that I would come away with some hair every few times I ran my hand through my hair.   Today it's every time and it's not a few hairs any more - more like 15+ each time.   I'm kind of sad and kind of feel like a long haired dog in the spring time.  I guess I wasn't as prepared as I thought....

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  • joanneasiata
    joanneasiata Member Posts: 719
    edited October 2009

    oh my dear friends it is sooo hard the hair thing and i to cry for my hair more than my boobs in fact i havnt ever cryed this much in my life they say that a good cry is very healing and also a good laugh is just what the doc orded and i have been laughing all arvo ther is a newish forum called     lets conduct our own study on how we all got breast cancer   ladies if you need a good laugh  and who doesnt  go to this forum and laugh your heads off its sooo good

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  • one-L
    one-L Member Posts: 1,110
    edited October 2009

    Reneejean -  I am crying with you this morning.  You said it all so well and I feel the same way.  Why is losing my hair causing me so much grief?  I had a lumpectomy, so I didn't lose my boobs, but I think I would be reacting the same as you, boobs can go, hair needs to stay. 

    I hope everyone has a quiet and restful weekend, so we all can get charged up for the next round, whatever that may be.  Thanks for being on this site, so that I know I am not alone on this  emotional roller coaster.

    Hugs

    Juannelle

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