Blended families--kids/grandkids...

junie
junie Member Posts: 1,216
edited June 2014 in Older Than 60 Years Old With Breast Cancer
Blended families--kids/grandkids...
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  • junie
    junie Member Posts: 1,216
    edited October 2009

    Hopefully, there are other "Older Women" here who can chime in........DH and I have been together/married for almost 18 years.   Our kids were grown or mostly so from the beginning.   Off and on we had one of mine or one of his "staying" with us for awhile.    I have always been so pleased that we have had such close rapport with all the kids.........over the years, my two have given us 7 grandkids--and DH is grandpa to them all.     Out of DH's four kids--one has given him his first biological grandchild.    This child is a joy,  total delight...to me, grandbaby number 8 and just as loved as all the rest................well, you can guess where this is going............DH is besotted by this child, and rightfully so, but to the extent of creating stress for me.

    I will give only one example--first birthdays...his sweet gd received a special crib from "us" @$300.00------my newest gd, two months' later got a $12.00 hoodie from Wal-Mart.....

    [and will throw in one more tidbit to muddle the water....DH youngest dau recently was married and gd was flower girl...during the ceremony, she was quite bored and started looking around--she spied her biological grandma on her dad's side; she spied her biological grandma on her mother's side (MImi)--BUT, she came to ME and I got to quietly entertain her 'til the ceremony was over.     That really set Mimi off.......]   mercy....

    ....so, I'm babbling now, but Christmas is coming and I am just not sure how to deal with all the frustration I have.   Looking to you wise ladies for some feedback and suggestions.   Deep down, I know this is not something to erupt over but, I also don't think it is fair.  and, just flat out don't know how to tell DH how upset this is making me.............any comments are welcomed.

    hugggssssss. 

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  • Leah_S
    Leah_S Member Posts: 8,458
    edited October 2009

    Hmmm.... would it work to tell him it's the Grandma's priveilege to but the gifts for ALL the grandkids? Then you can indulge all of them.

    It would solve the problem of Christmas this year, but as for him doting on her in general, well, there probably isn't a solution to that. If the other grandchildren don't notice (and if he's still loving to them, they might not) then you might just have to live with it.

    (((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))

    Leah

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  • kmccraw423
    kmccraw423 Member Posts: 3,596
    edited October 2009

    Similar problem with my cousin's son ... his grandmother, my aunt, is not pleased when he comes running to me, not her.  To be fair, I have always treated him like a friend - not someone's child to discipline.  His grandmother has taken care of him, off and on, since he was an infant and she has had to discipline him.  I am simply more fun!  I try not to be to obvious when she is around.  Thankfully, she hangs with the adults at family gatherings whereas I take all the kids to the playroom and, well, PLAY.

    That's a tough one when one child is favored over the others.  Have you talked to DH about this?  I think Leah has a good idea and that is for Grandma to buy the presents.

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  • Isabella4
    Isabella4 Member Posts: 2,166
    edited October 2009

    Junie, don't know what to say on this one, but all g/kids should be equal.

    I have 6 g/kids and one of my g/daughters has a half sister, no blood relation at all to me, but I have to send her cards and presents like all the others. I resent it really, know I shouldn't, but the little madam never thanks me for anything, not even when she sees me, in fact she seems to just tolerate me when we have a family get together, never makes an effort to talk to me as rest of g/kids do. We can go a whole visit with her ignoring me, I sometimes stick her out until the last few minutes, then ask if she is going to talk to me. She is 17 now, so isn't going to change !

    Have a conversation with your DH before it escalates.

    Isabella.

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  • junie
    junie Member Posts: 1,216
    edited October 2009

    thanks to all for your responses.    guess I will have the "talk" with dh and let the fur fly!!!!  he will have no clue as to what is upsetting to me, but maybe I'll feel better for getting it out.

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