Races, donations, gratitude and guilt

Options
Anxiousmama
Anxiousmama Member Posts: 92
edited June 2014 in Life After Breast Cancer

Not sure where this belongs, but since I'm done with radition and taking tamoxifen, the moving beyond cancer title sums up what I'm trying to do...

I just finished radiation in Sept., now on Tamoxifen and doing fine, albeit a bit emotionally raw, financially stressed and just  plain exhausted from getting back to life as normal.  I've never been a big "race" person and I'm not really comfortable with alot of attention either, so maybe my feelings are coming from one of these areas. I don't really know much about the races, runs and walks going on and even reading the websites I don't quite get what I want to know. 

First, two people, one the teenage daughter of my husband's best friends, the other a dear, younger friend of mine want to do the Komen walk here "in honor" of me. What exactly does this mean and what are my obligations for this - do I need to go to the race to cheer them on? I have other plans that day but wondering if I should cancel?  Do I get to go in the "survivors tent," or is that only for runners/walkers who are survivors?  Should I be sending out both of their websites to all of my friends/family or send one to some, one to the other or just not worry about it?  My friend did ask me and the hubby's best frriend asked him and he said it was fine w/o talking to me. Is that OK that they are both walking in honor of the same person?

Am I alone in having odd feelings of almost annoyance and guilt about not doing my part in all this? To be honest there is a local bike ride I would have done had I had time to get a decent bike and train for this year (it was last weekend) and may do next year. I haven't really wanted to do the Komen and now I feel like I'm "expected" to walk or run it. 

Anyone have thoughts to share on this or know any more about these events than I do?

· Share on FacebookShare on Twitter

Comments

  • Abbey11
    Abbey11 Member Posts: 335
    edited October 2009

    At the Komen Race for the Cure's that I've attended, there are many people running and walking with notes/signs taped to their backs stating that they are racing in honor or in memory of someone.  I would guess that's what these women would like to do for you.  It's their way of letting you know that they are thinking of you and wishing you well.  

    I don't think you have any obligation to attend the race.  You could just send them each a really nice note thanking them for honoring you and explaining that you feel very uncomfortable being at the race, but that you really appreciate them representing you. 

    I was diagnosed last September and was scheduled to do a Komen walk (hate to run!) last October.  It would have been the week before my mastectomy, and I just couldn't face it.  Some people suggested that I'd feel encouraged/empowered by seeing all of the other survivors.  But, really the thought of being there made me sick to my stomach.  So, I guess what I'm saying is that you have to do what feels right for you.  You've been through enough.  Don't put yourself in a situation that will make you uncomfortable. 

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Anxiousmama
    Anxiousmama Member Posts: 92
    edited October 2009

    Thanks for the info. That really helps. It's an odd feeling - everyone sorta assumes I know all about these walks/races since I HAVE bc, but I'm just too busy surviving to figure it all out. So, I'll just send them a thank you note and not worry about it.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • iodine
    iodine Member Posts: 4,289
    edited October 2009

    You asked some great questions I hadn't even thought of.  Good for you.

    As far as knowing "all".  My daughter was expected to know all about biology because her dad is a doc.  Whaaaat????  You get this information thru osmosis???  LOL

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • abbadoodles
    abbadoodles Member Posts: 2,618
    edited October 2009

    I wouldn't waste my time feeling guilty about not wanting to do walks/runs, etc.  Or not wanting to be there.  I have been asked about doing them and just said no, not interested.  Don't do chain letters/emails either.  Tongue out  Can you tell I'm just an ornery old coot?  LOL  Maxine is my heroine, although I'm told her creator is a man.......

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter

Categories