36, dx 5 days ago, scared and too many ???

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Melanie36
Melanie36 Member Posts: 110
edited June 2014 in Young With Breast Cancer

WTF? I recently found out the horrible news and have been in a fog, robotically telling friends and family the same thing over and over. I've been reading some of the posts and I can't even begin to try and make sense of all the acronyms and stage #s and choices and what questions I'm supposed to ask. This is my life and I'm spposed to make sense of this all in a matter of a few days/weeks/months?

All I know is that it is very large (over 5 cm or 2"), doesn't seem to be attached to the chest wall and they suspect it has spread to the lymph nodes. I've been waiting since last Tues. (Oct.6) to hear from the Breast Health Centre as to what next?? Biopsy/Lumpectomy/Mastectomy?

Can anyone help me to sort all of this shit out. I'm 36, mother of 4 (18, 14, 6 and 3-all girls) and I'm scared...please help. :(

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  • septembersong
    septembersong Member Posts: 287
    edited October 2009

    Melanie,

    Take a deep breath. Please--find the best doctor you can. If you don't feel the fit is right, keep looking. Once you've found a physician you can trust and can work with, concentrate on doing everything you need to do to get well. You are going into this well and strong, and with the right attitude will manage the rigors of treatment. Many women have gone through this before you and are living happy, productive lives post-treatment. Sending you every positive thought.  

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  • joanneasiata
    joanneasiata Member Posts: 719
    edited October 2009

    hi there i was diognosed  in august im 45 yrs and felt the same came on to this site and it was so daunting but it does get clearer i hope that happens soon for you just be prepared for lots of tests and its all the waiting that is really hard this time for you will be the hardest but it all gets better once you know what is happening just get all your favourite people around you and try to take controll of your mind becouse it will be very cruel to you please keep us posted you have a lot of support from women all over the world who have been or going through the very same thing all the best to you

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  • htrobison
    htrobison Member Posts: 12
    edited October 2009

    I, too am 36. Was dx'd in July. Am a mom to two boys(4 and 1). I had a mastectomy and had 7 tumors. The largest was 1.6cm then 1.4cm. The other 5 were all under 5mm. There are a lot of decisions to be made. I do not regret my decisions. I know it is a lot. Let me know if you want to chat.

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  • Melanie36
    Melanie36 Member Posts: 110
    edited October 2009

    Thank you everyone for your words. It's Canadaian Thanksgiving weekend and it has hit me really hard yesterday and today, hearing what everyone is thankful for. The numbness is waining and all I want to do is cry.

    Holli I'd love it if we could stay in touch. I could really use a friend my age with kids who knows what I'm feeling. My husband can only be so supportive. I can't figure out how to do  a private chat, though.

    Melanie

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  • cakeisgreat
    cakeisgreat Member Posts: 660
    edited October 2009

    Hey, Melanie.  I'm so sorry you have to join this club.  I was at my last breast surgeon appt on Oct 6.  I am 37 yrs old with 4 kids (13, 11, 8, 7) and was absolutely BLINDSIDED by a baseline mammo.  I had NO idea I had cancer lurking around.  It was 5 cm of DCIS with micro-invasion, hence why I am stage 1.  Talk about a whirlwind...I was in surgery within a week.

    I was just pondering today how comatose and messed up I was those days in June when I first entered this crappy world of cancer when I was oblivious to it before. 

    It WILL calm down for you.  You WILL stop crying after awhile, and you will get your bearings at some point.   You may feel helpless and weak and unable to figure out how you're going to get through this right now, but you will get through it moment by moment, day by day.  It's so overwhelming to look at it all at once, but just think about the next step...for you it's getting a game plan from your doctors which should be real soon if you've been waiting almost a week.

    The gals on this website helped me SO MUCH (and still do) with questions, symptoms, side effects, surgeries, and just understanding what we're each going through.  You'll (unfortunately) get the hang of all the abbreviations soon.

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  • cmharris59
    cmharris59 Member Posts: 496
    edited October 2009

    Hi Melanie,
    To send a private message - click on the person's name - this will take you to their profile window - once there in the upper right hand corner of the window is a link to send a private message. Click that and you will be redirected to a window to write your message. It is much like an e-mail not a chat. However, there is a chat room. It may be empty, but if u want to chat in real time I can meet you there. I can let u know how to do that as well.

    First, take a deep breath.  you are going to a breast health center so hopefully, they will connect you with the right people. However, I went to a local women's clinic and they sent me to a general surgeon for the biopsy. Big mistake!  Make an appt with a breast oncologist. Try to find a team structured treatment center. Hopefully, they will have a breast surgeon, a breast reconstruction plastic surgeon, a chemotherapy oncologist, and a radiation oncologist. If they are really good, they will have counselors for you as well. 

    I did not stick with the general surgeon and was able to get a cancer team at the Georgia Medical College.  I had a biopsy without a mastectomy, lots of discussion regarding my type of cancer before I started treatment.  If you click on my name you will see my bio and get an idea of what I have done. 

    Feel free to PM me if you need answers.

    C

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  • Lauren3
    Lauren3 Member Posts: 289
    edited October 2009

    I'm so sorry to hear about your diagnosis.  I too am a young mom (I'm 33 and my son is 2) and I know how hard it all is to process.  It does get better.  The waiting and decision making was truly the hardest part for me.  Please PM me if you want to chat.

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  • Luna1
    Luna1 Member Posts: 6
    edited October 2009

    Hi Melanie,

    I'm new to this too, still trying to figure out all the terms, diagnosis, and so on.  It gets so confusing and frustrating but I'm learning that venting is a good thing.  I've only posted a few things here but have read a lot and it helps. I'm 38 and a mother of two girls, one is 9 and the other is 3.  My husband has been super supportive as have family and friends. It's nice though chatting with others in similar situations.

    I was diagnosed in July with DCIS, 10cm in my right breast.  I decided to have a bi-lateral mx to reduce any second scares down the road.  When the operated they found 12 cm of DCIS and 1.2 cm of invasive, nodes all neg.  It changed my outcome a bit, as of yesterday I've decided to do chemo and tamox for 5 years.  

     Find a doctor that you can really connect with, it's important.  I'm going to a cancer center where it's all about team work and it's so nice knowing that you have so many people connecting and looking after your well being.

    I wish you the best through this tough journey.  If you want to chat more, feel free to pm. 

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited October 2009

    Luna

    I see you are in Washington, so am I but on the Eastside of the mountains...

    There is a thread here and the ladies are all on your side of the mountains. They are a wonderful group of ladies ranging in different ages and stages of treatment...they get together every so often and keep in tough to support each other...

    The thread is something like "Sexy in Seattle" or something similar......please look them up if you'd like. I didnt have a support group like that over here during my journey so relied on this board but I think in person once in awhile would be wonderful.

    Sorry to hear of your dx, please let me know if I can help in anyway.

    Jule

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