Pre-Chemo nausea from fear...

Sido ~  I think we all know what you're going through -- maybe not to the point of nausea, but surely the terror and fear of the unknown.  And I can understand how it would be especially traumatic because of your Mother.  One thing that helped me overcome my fear of chemo is a guided imagery CD I got from www.healthjourneys.com.   It's the one by Belleruth Naperstak, and there's a downloadable version available.  It helped me to reframe chemo in a much more positive light -- from poison to "a bubbling spring of healing liquid," and other empowering thoughts and images.  And you can hear a little snippet of it on that website.  Anyway, it helped me so much that I just wanted to suggest it to you.  The other thing that helped me feel empowered was to put together and have ready a little basket of chemo comfort stuff.  I believe there's a list of suggested things to get anchored at the top of the chemo board, and having a few of those on-hand (like Biotene mouthwash) helped me feel prepared and on top of the situation. 

I know it's scary, but I honestly think after the first infusion you'll wonder what all the fear was about.  Do you have someone to go with you for moral support?  Deanna 

Hi Sido.

I agree with Deanna about the fear of the first infusion and also it's a great idea if you can have someone with you for moral support and to provide some distraction from the event itself. 

There is always fear in the unknown and your memories of your mothers experience will unfortunately add to it.  But, like you stated, things are better than they were 20 years ago.

I was scared to death after my diagnosis, scared of the surgery and scared of the treatments.  I had my second chemo treatment Wednesday and it went much better than the first time, although it did last a bit longer than the first.  I had a reaction of some kind after they began the first treatment, but after some adjustments, it basically went rather smoothly.

I try to look forward to the time for infusion as an opportunity to do a few things I might not do otherwise such as read a book, research on the internet, etc.

Some suggestions to pass the time with and keep your mind off the chemo...

If you have a laptop, bring it with you for surfing the net or watching a movie.

A notebook for journaling.

A book to read.

Knitting or crocheting.

Sleeping!  I've seen one man at each of my treatments who sleeps through the whole thing!  A little extra rest can't hurt!

Sido, I had the same chemo you'll be getting -- 4 rounds of Taxotere & Cytoxan, given at 3-week intervals.  I was terrified, even though I had read everything I could find about my chemo regimen and was reasonably well-prepared on the day of my first infusion.  Even though I finished chemo 16 months ago, I can still feel that fear deep in my bones when I recall that first visit to the infusion center.

It really, really was not as bad as I imagined it would be.  My husband was a rock -- he went with me to each of my chemo and onco appointments, and he was very sympathetic and helpful.  My med onco also made a huge difference by anticipating all the serious problems I might have and giving me prescriptions or advice to combat them. 

As it turned out, I did not throw up -- not even once -- during the entire 12 weeks of chemo and post-chemo SE's.  I did get a little bit nauseous during the evening after each infusion and for awhile the next morning, but it was more of a queasy feeling than real, "I'm going to throw up" nausea.  My onco asked specifically about that queasiness vs. nausea feeling, because she was ready to give me something stronger if it really was nausea. She had prescribed Ativan to help me sleep and to reduce anxiety; and she gave me a script for Phenergan for nausea because I told her I was very susceptible to motion sickness and was afraid the chemo would make me sick.  I took two Phenergan tablets in 12 weeks.  I was also on dexamethasone as a routine part of the take-home meds for Taxotere & Cytoxan; and dexamethasone (Decadron) can help with nausea.

I don't want to make it sound like no one gets sick from Taxotere & Cytoxan.  Some women do have a really hard time with it and have to take the big-time antinausea meds that are usually reserved for "highly emetogenic" chemo drugs.  Taxotere and the usual dose of Cytoxan are not considered "highly emetogenic" (i.e., they are not considered highly likely to trigger vomiting).  Even so, sometimes they do in some women.

What you are describing -- feeling nauseous even before you get your first infusion -- even has an official name.  It's called "anticipatory nausea," and It is very real. Call your onco's office and see if they can do something about it.

otter