Feeling Overwhelmed

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Miki647
Miki647 Member Posts: 2
edited June 2014 in Mental Health: Because Cancer Doesn't Just Affect Your Breasts

Its a strange thing. I was diagnosed last year, and made it through the surgeries, the chemo, and the reconstruction process. I was more afraid than I ever imagined I could be, but also braver than I ever thought I could be. Now that the worst parts of treatment are over, I am feeling so depressed, and stressed, and overwhelmed! And now, as if dealing with the cancer wasn't enough, next month I have to have eye surgery for my glaucoma!! Its all just tooooo much. A part of me feels guilty for complaining. My mom died from bc...I should, and do, consider myself lucky to be alive and doing well. But lately, all I want to do is cry, which is very unlike me. PLUS, the chemo brain doesn't help things...I feel like such an idiot when I can't remember simple things. I don't feel as smart as I used to be.  Which probably wasn't all THAT brilliant, but it certainly was better than now! I just need some ideas on how to de-stress, feel less overwhelmed, and how to find some joy in life, since it looks like I'm going to be around to live it.

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  • Mazy1959
    Mazy1959 Member Posts: 1,431
    edited September 2009

    Miki,

    I understand how you feel and I bet most of the ladies on this site do too. I was considered a bright, quick learning, level headed type A woman. After chemo and etc I felt like I lost at least half my brain. But as time wore on and I kinda got back into a daily routine, most came back. I never did get it all back and I am certainly not fast anymore but I do okay. It does take some getting used to and I will admit I get so mad at myself sometimes for being slow and thinking slow.

    Dont feel bad for complaining. You have lived thru cancer and all it's treatments. You have as much right to worry as anyone else. I take Prozac for hot flashes and depression. Many ladies on this site take meds for depression....it is nothing to be ashamed of.

    I crochet alot and that helps me kinda destress. I taught myself when I was diagnosed with breast cancer the first time.

    May your worries be few, your heart be light and your happiness be overflowing....Hugs, Mazy

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  • Isabella4
    Isabella4 Member Posts: 2,166
    edited September 2009

    Miki.

    What you are experiencing is so normal for bc patients. I think most all of us will have, and some still are, going thru this years after the event.....its such a traumatic thing.

    Somehow, we all have to brave up to the treatments, and something just carries us thru...we just go thru on auto pilot. When we come out at the other end we ask ourselves 'How the hell did I do all that'. Then the reality hits, and a lot of us have some form of post traumatic stress. I think the best answer to this is to get onto anti depressive tablets, and sit it out until things get easier.

    As for the chemo brain. I didn't do chemo, so can't comment first hand, but I know how bad it can be, there is lots to read on this site about it. I think its baby steps, keeping occupied, having some project, however simple, infront of us, to get the brain, ever so slowly, into gear . It certainly isn't going to happen overnight, seems to be different in different people, but it IS a recognised condition, so go to your docs and talk it out with them. 

    You will find, after a while, even the best of friends and relatives, relatives being the worst, get fed up of our going on and on about our worries. That is where this site comes in. Everyone here 'gets' it, we have all been thru and come out the other side, or are still going thru the treatments, so we are all in the same boat and will natter away to you and listen to your worries, and try and help, and as you natter back you will be helping others with your imput from your experience. There is always someone here who has been there, done that, so jump in and join us. Don't sit worrying alone that makes things fester within. Ask away, however trivial it might sound, someone will help and answer you, it can be a great release just to talk about your worries.

    Good Luck with the eye op. soner you than me. I am a baby when it comes to eyes !!!

    Hugs.

    Isabela. 

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  • holligoog
    holligoog Member Posts: 75
    edited September 2009

    this is very common. you need to talk to your doc about it right away!

    was just told by my Onc the other day that I was suffering from PTSD. Dx 12/08 with Triple-Neg BC. It's been a long and traumatic road that I have had to basically fight alone (my divorce became final in Feb. 2009- 2 weeks after my first surgery). My last chemo was in May. Double mastectomy in June. Should be back to "normal" but feel like "now what". Wait for it to come back? Recently I cry all of the time and that is NOT like me! My Doc put me on an anti-depressant and it is helping. Writing down my feelings helps too.

    Don't be afraid to ask for help! 

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  • Miki647
    Miki647 Member Posts: 2
    edited September 2009

    Thanks for the support! Its such a relief to know that I'm not the only one going through this! I will make an appointment with my doctor, and see what he has to say. I'm unsure about going on antidepressants, but at this point I'm willing to give anything a try.

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  • sharingwithu
    sharingwithu Member Posts: 18
    edited September 2009

    Hi Miki647,

    I'm brand new to breast cancer (just diagnosed) and this web site.  I'm not sure how and where you'll receive my response to your post.  Forgive me if I'm doing this all wrong.

    To learn that you're feeling depressed and overwhelmed after a year of undergoing so very much is amazing.  That's such a long time to 'put on a "I'm doing fine" face'.  No wonder you're feeling so depressed and overwhelmed now.  How could you not???  After a very long and physically painful year, you're just now getting in touch with those feelings that you were probably holding in so deep you weren't aware of how you were really feeling.

    How to de-stress...find joy in life??   Maybe the following will help.

    Try telling yourself that ALL of your feelings are perfectly normal, perfectly OK to have and express!!  Feeling guilty??  Throw all your guilty feelings right out the window...nothing positive comes from guilt.  How about writing a list of all the things you enjoy doing.  Simple things.  Like having coffee with a friend?

    I know I need to find my purpose in life.  This is an evolving search. It's a discovery process since finding a purpose in life is a process of change.

    Take life an hour at a time.  Sometimes a day at a time is just too long of a time period. Remember that you are not alone!!  I'm brand new (like a half hour ago) to this web site and chat room, but you can always feel free to let me know how you're feeling (ubehpy2003@aol.com) and I'll always write back to you as soon as I possibly can.

    For now, know that I'm thinking of you.

    Sharingwithu

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  • otlady49
    otlady49 Member Posts: 8
    edited October 2009

    ok, so I had a lumpectomy, have finished rad 9/8 got my energy back last week and some days I just dont think about all I have been through, you're right I just seemed to go through it on automatic pilot.  Now I just dont even want to think about it but then the nurse calls from the rad onc office to see how you're feeling and it just comes back. Wow this was real I really did go through this,  I have so much going for me I am healthy I am healed but today I feel so overwhelmed. I cant even make a decision whether to take the tamoxifen or not or what med onc to see, one says one thing the other says the opposite, It is good to hear you all say this is normal. You're all right, who do you talk to anymore, who understands, who wants to hear it. Sometimes I just feel like crying. This is normal? I guess I am rambling And in the midst of it all I am supposed to be looking for a job!  I may go to the support group at the hospital, but I dont know Thanks for listening.

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  • kel1
    kel1 Member Posts: 30
    edited October 2009

    There's nothing silly about what you're feeling.  I did chemo, surgery, then radiation.  My family & friends were great.  2 years later, I still felt lost, hopeless, foggy, sad, cried all the time, didn't sleep...get the picture?  And I felt like my family was 'finished' being compassionate and kind...after all, it had been 2 years!  I had hair again, I should be fine.

    My biggest mistake was waiting so long to admit to my oncologist (or anyone else) that every day was a challenge to just function. I kept thinking I'd eventually get back to normal.  This is my new normal now. I do brain teasers and am on Effexor.  Why didn't someone tell me when we take the estrogen out of the body with Femara, it also leeches the seratonin out, which is why I need the antidepressant?

    Talk to someone, exercise, and remember when no one else seems to care, this group of wonderful sisters in this crappy club really do know how you feel.

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  • day-by-day
    day-by-day Member Posts: 22
    edited October 2009

    You are very brave women willing to share your experiences.  I hope that it is okay for me to share as well, I am feeling SO very distracted - post chemo 3.5 months (still taking Herceptin), post reconstruction, in my late 40s, I run the household, raising school-aged children different ages (helping on the college search), husband travels extensively, I need work as money is too tight...(I feel everyone is in this boat).  

    I emailed my onco nurse to let her know how I'm feeling - she will get back soon; however, I wanted to check to see if anyone has seen a psychiatrist about this - or is the feeling of being unable to focus common post chemo?  I feel it is adversely effecting my quality of life in causing stress, frustration, and sadness.  

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  • lovemyfamilysomuch
    lovemyfamilysomuch Member Posts: 1,585
    edited October 2009

    To all who posted  and all my bc sisters,  It is so very hard to "get past" this beast of a disease.  And it is wonderful to have friends here who really get it.  Thank you for reminding me that all that iam feeling is valid, and it is how I choose to deal with those feelings.  Been angry, sad, mad, depressed, so low I felt like dying during chemo.  And now I am feeling strong and healthy, although the little voice in my head is always there--so there really nothing else to do but keep on going,  And guess what, sisters, we are doing it!! In sisterhood,xo

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  • Nedeza
    Nedeza Member Posts: 666
    edited October 2009

    Thank you ladies for making me feel I am not the only one feeling this way.  Since I was diagnosed in July and having MX in Aug. with an immediate reconst. I am suddenly feeling very overwhelmed.  I thought that I was doing pretty well considering but recently I have been feeling "down".  This process, so far, has been going smoothly. From the start of this journey I felt I was in a surreal state.  I knew once I had the surgery I probably would come to the realization that this is really happening.  2 months later here I am and I am having bouts of tears.  I have a great support group of family and friends...my husband is an awesome man!!!  But lately, I have become tearful...and it just "turns" on suddenly.  I suppose this is a normal process...maybe the Tamoxifin???  It does help to see that there are others out there experiencing the same thing.

    Take care ladies!!! 

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