one week before surgery

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cookiegal
cookiegal Member Posts: 3,296
edited June 2014 in Mental Health: Because Cancer Doesn't Just Affect Your Breasts

My anxiety is making a visit.

How did you keep calm?

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  • pabbie
    pabbie Member Posts: 370
    edited October 2009

    Hi Suz-Are you still using the clonazapem? You might have to increase a little before the surgery. (ask dr first) I had told my surgeon that my clonazapem will get me to the surgery and he said we'll have something alot stronger for you when you get here.

    I think it's the getting there that is soooo stressful.  Before my surgery (a lumpectomy) my therapist gave me a book to read called, "Close to the Bone, life-threatening illness as a soul journey."-I also put a few prayer requests in to www.silent.unity.org

    Before my surgery for colo-rectal cancer I listened to a spiritual tape on the way to the hospital.

    What kind of surgery are you having? I know I've talked to you before and I'm sorry if I forgot. I hope this helps a little. Take care.

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  • Isabella4
    Isabella4 Member Posts: 2,166
    edited October 2009

    I had exacty the opposite. I just shut off and went on to auto-pilot. I just couldn't get myself in a knot.

    I have never before, nor since, had this total acceptance of what was to happen. I knew I was scared out of my wits, but couldn't bring it to the front of my mind. Everyone around me was falling apart, I was logically and clinically sorting out everything, and telling everyone I would be fine. I breezed thru double mast, not much pain, and got on with my recovery without much help. It was as if I was slap bang in the eye of a storm.

    Six months later, after rads, I fell apart. Was told I had PTSD...seems a lot of us get this. I went onto anti depressants, and saw a psychologist.

    So I am not the best to offer advice on this really ! One piece of advice I will give though, is get some laxatives in...most important...no-one warned me about this...the anaesthetic makes  going to the loo afterwards like trying to pass concrete. I got so bad I was considering going to ER !   

    Good luck when you go for your op.

    Isabella.

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  • cookiegal
    cookiegal Member Posts: 3,296
    edited October 2009

    Lump and bi-lat reduction.

    I am still taking the pills. They help. Quite a bit. Infact I didn't even need them for about a week.

    I am now able to find my lump, and it's been a little painful. It may have been from a bra, or a hug, or who knows, maybe it is the cancer knocking at my door.

    I have a general fear of doctors and hospitals and that's kicking in too.

    I called the surgeons office to see if someone can walk me through step by step what will happen that day.

    I also bought front closing pj's and a robe today. I am working on getting the house clean. Iam going to buy a new sofa tonight, we had to get rid of the old one due to the bedbugs. :(

    It's funny, I have been squeezing these gg's into minimizers and blazers for years, but for such big boobs they are really pretty. I don't droop that much and I have sort of dainty nips. It's hard to imagine myself waking up with a different body.

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  • kbugmom
    kbugmom Member Posts: 15,189
    edited October 2009

    I just prayed and took a moment at a time. Had my mast in 05. But still remember day of. I went to surg smiling to my family not wanting them to worry. They knew I was scared but was knowing I knew what I had to do. God bless see you in chat.

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  • sharingwithu
    sharingwithu Member Posts: 18
    edited October 2009

    Hi Suz,

    I totally relate to how you're feeling...at least what you've shared with us.  I think ANY feeling(s) you're having are so absolutely normal!!!

    There's no set way to deal with anxiety and fear...I surely don't know the "magic" answer, and I doubt there is one.

    But, what I can share with you is my experience.

    I was diagnosed about 10 days ago...I think.  Time has become surrealistic to me.  I'm in the process of having a ton of tests to determine the stage of my cancer and whether any cancer cells have rented space in my liver, lungs or bones.  Everything feels ccccrrraaaazzzzyyyy!!!!!

    I say to myself, "Well now, you have cancer", and it sounds as though I'm saying this about someone else.

    I wake up with absolute terror in the pit of my stomach...and, also, my entire life...nothing to do with cancer...is rapidly unraveling.

    So!!!  Here's what I do.  I hope some of these suggestions can be somewhat helpful for you.

    *When I first wake up with that unbearable terror in the pit of my stomach I get right on these forums and start reading and posting.  I realize that many of my posts are written to help  a woman who is suffering.  I want to reach out and hold her hand.  I want to offer words of comfort.  I've often given my e-mail address and phone number, inviting anyone who would like to send me an e-mail or call me.  I mean this with all sincerity: ubehpy2003@aol.com (856)866-5515

    *I have a routine that I follow every morning...doing stuff around this little condo I rent.  I take everything off the tables, the counter-tops and clean them...sometimes bleach them...and then I replace everything.  I know exactly what this does for me psychologically.  I'm 'cleaning' away the 'dirt' (problems) if the day before and trying to establish a fresh start.  It keeps me active.

    * I have a pack of 4 Poodles who are litterally saving my life.  So we have our morning routine of going out for a short walk, then having a breakfast of treats!!!  Talk about unconditional love!!!!

    * I have a DVR that allows me to record movies throughout the day and night.  I simply go on the guide on my TV and start looking for movies...when I find some that look good I record them.

    *This may sound silly, but I record The View every single day and this way I know I will have some company when I desperately need some. 

    * Reading has always been one love of my life...I ALWAYS have a great book (hopefully) that can carry me right out of my reality.  I'm reading favorite authors like Alice Hoffman, Jodi Picoult, Barbara Kingsolver...I started "City of God" by E.L. Doctorow (best known for "Ragtime).  I adore how he crafts his sentences but I just can't quite concentrate so I returned to contemporary fiction.

    *I have e-mails friendships with several people around the country, so I write e-mails often throughout the day.

    *I've made a list of everything I need to get done and am systematically getting all of my pre-surgery testing completed.  I will see my breast surgeon on the 12TH and will then be told the stage of my cancer and whether those cancer cells have taken up residence in other parts of my body.  Surgery is scheduled for 10/20.

    *I scheduled an appointment with the Oncologist Social Worker who I will see this afternoon.

    *I take care of my sister who is on Morphine for severe back problems and try to keep her spirits up!!!  Hope this helps!!  I see I'm out of space!!!! Sharingwithu (Bo)

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