Starting Chemo in June 2005

Towanda,
I'm here. I think posts and the live chat are slow due to the holiday weekend. Have a great 4th ladies. Don't let those sparklers get too close to the wig!

I'm still here too....moving slow...but I'm here!
My sister called me last night and she and my other sisters are going in together to buy a wig for me! She said it is made out of human hair (are all wigs?) and I can take it to a good salon to have it dyed to match my hair (better save some now!)and cut.
I went out with DD yesterday and bought a bunch of hats. Since it's soooo hot now, I figured that I would wear a hat for running errands. I also figured that after the 4th, most of the summer hats will be gone...so I have to load up now! Also, living where it's hot, I will be going through hats quickly due to sweat (yuck) and dirt.

Hello everyone and Happy 4th!

Nosurrender--thanks so much for checking in on us-- I hope I can be as helpful to the newbies as you are when I'm a year out. I just had tx #2 yesterday-- JoMac-- your bottom of the ocean analogy hits it on the head. I was saying that I weighed 500 lbs, or was covered in wet blankets, but I really felt like one of those people with the metal scuba suit and big round metal helmet. But I'm pretty much back to normal today-- did a long walk yesterday before I zonked, and again today after my neulasta shot. Really seems to work.

And I have the shortest haircut of my life. It went easier then I thought-- and I have a new hottie blonde wig. My Sweetie/husband likes it, and no one on the street looked at me weird, so I guess I'm good to go...plus, I ordered a long red one...a moment of weakness!

Good luck everyone!

I'm hoping to walk soon, but first I need to get some sleep! The doctor prescribed Trazadone (50mg) 2 nights ago. The first night I slept 3 hours and last night it was 5....I am soooooo tired!
The kids, and I, went to SAMS today and I got alot of walking in, which was nice (DD drove). I have a treadmill and I'm hoping to get back on it in a few days...sigh.

We like NPR radio on Saturday nights . I even admit to watching Lawrence Welk from time to time and I am under 50.
Did you all just loose any respect you had for me?

Alright, if we're really doing a true confessions thing here....
I'm 42 and I currently have Doris Day's top 16 hits CD in my car. My husband is 45 and his favorite singer is Jo Stafford. Talk about weirdos..........that's us!

Hey everyone...I am surfacing from the ocean floor myself. This chemo was better than the first, but I think it is because they gave me the Neulasta the next day instead of with the chemo (after I complained about my side effects). Still, I am feeling more soreness in the bones, tired and yucky everywhere else. But less nausea this time! YAY!! And I don't have a gigantic purple bruise on my arm from the big pokey thing they stuck me with.

Where the heck is Dana?? I'm worried about her!

NoSurrender, thanks so much for your message. I really should be grateful that I'm not doing this all alone. I am in total awe of you, everything you went through by yourself! I feel pretty sheepish for complaining in the first place, I guess I was just emotional.

My hair is leaving me, and I, too was surprised that it made me cry. I have been expecting it, but the reality is so surreal that you just can't know what you will feel until it happens. And I have also had very vibrant, wierd dreams. I should learn to paint, I could make millions off the artwork that goes on in my head at night!

I'm just so glad you all are on this board. It's so nice to not feel alone, and I feel sorry for those who have other types of cancer and they don't have such a nice place to go. And, they don't have a fabulous coach to help them along!

Yup, I'm wondering about Dana too.I took an ativan and still can't get to sleep . Weird after sleeping for three straight days.

Ahh! Now I get it! I finally figured out where you all have been! I got into the TowandaSub and found all of you! And you are all doing OK- thank you for checking in!! We just need Dana and then the team is all together!

No one else knows that this is really where chemo girls go...it is our secret. And isn't it pretty? And you know the octopus is a special protector of Chemo Girls! He has many arms that can make us chicken soup, fetch us Ginger Ale, styles our wigs, keeps annoying neighbors away, takes care of our kids, reminds us to take our meds, makes sure we rest, and gives GREAT massages!


I'd like to be under the sea
In an octopus' garden in the shade
He'd let us in, knows where we've been
In his octopus' garden in the shade

I'd ask my friends to come and see
An octopus' garden with me
I'd like to be under the sea
In an octopus' garden in the shade.

We would be warm below the storm
In our little hideaway beneath the waves
Resting our head on the sea bed
In an octopus' garden near a cave

We would sing and dance around
because we know we can't be found
I'd like to be under the sea
In an octopus' garden in the shade

We would shout and swim about
The coral that lies beneath the waves
Oh what joy for every girl and boy
Knowing they're happy and they're safe

We would be so happy you and me
No one there to tell us what to do
I'd like to be under the sea
In an octopus' garden with you.


Keep an eye out for buried treasure!

Feeling pretty good after #3. Glad we scaled back the party for my son and fiance yesterday-Jim and Savanna did all of the work but it was wonderful. Since I see myself as somewhat of a trailblazer for July I would like to think I can keep you ahead of the game----I have had diarrhea since Thursday, so guess my best advice is to be prepared for anything. Much better today. Chad and Sara took off for Seattle this morning and we are thinking of going to friends cabin on the Rocky Mountain Front this afternoon. Drink, drink, drink---seems like the popcicles I had during chemo helped a lot but have been thristy since-hate to guess how much water and juice I have drank. Have a happy 4th and talk to you later.

KimB

I remembered that Dana had emailed me her phone number a long time ago, so I called and left a message telling her that we are wondering if she's OK. I'll let you all know if I get a call back. I hope to hear something soon!

I was inspired by the lyrics (thanks, Coach!) to find this poem for you all. Written by Patricia Lynn Reilly and the full version can be found in her book "Imagine a Woman in Love With Herself." This too, should be our anthem.

Imagine a woman who believes it is right and good she is a woman.
A woman who honors her experience and tells her stories.
Who refuses to carry the sins of others within her body and life.

Imagine a woman who has acknowledged the past's influence on the present.
A woman who has walked through her past.
Who has healed into the present.

Imagine a woman who has access to the full range of human emotions.
A woman who expresses her feelings clearly and directly.
Who allows them to pass through her as gracefully as a breath.

Imagine a woman who follows her creative impulses.
A woman who produces original creations.
Who refuses to color inside someone else's lines.

Imagine a woman who authors her own life.
A woman who trusts her inner sense of what is right for her.
Who refuses to twist her life out of shape to meet the expectations of others.

Imagine a woman who values the women in her life.
A woman who sits in circles of women.
Who is reminded of the truth about herself when she forgets.

Imagine a woman who has grown in knowledge and love of herself.
A woman who has vowed faithfulness to her own life and capacities.
Who remains loyal to herself. Regardless.

Imagine yourself as this woman.

Hey everyone. I haven't been on in about a week. It's funny. You start feeling human again after chemo and I haven't checked in with everyone.

Now that I am thinking about chemo #2, I check in. I think it is a mental thing. If I am not online reading about this awful disease and what it is doing to our bodies, then I really don't have it. Denial, right?

I guess I have a few more days left of hair. My hair is already short, so my hairdresser talked me in to going a little shorter and said she would stop by to shave it if it started to go. I am still holding on to a glimmer of hope that I won't loose it. We can dream, right?

I'll go back to work for the first time since chemo on Tuesday. I am afraid that my hair will go Tuesday or Wednesday. Everyone in my office has been great. One even shaved his head for me. They are all chipping in to buy me my first wig. I just need to get up the courage to face it and go to the wig store. Yuck, itchy. I bought several "Survivor" buffs from the CBS store. They are pretty comfortable.

Dana- I sure hope you are better. I think the more chemo we get, the worse we will feel. I know I couldn't get out of bed for 3 days and the computer was the last thing I had energy for.

I hope everyone has a great 4th!

I just had some pity tears.
I am so much more tired than I was after #1 and #2. I got to worrying about it. I have had two naps today and various discomforts.
My expectations have not been met this round and it has left me feeling at a loss.
It could also be watching all the fun July 4th activities going on and being to tired to participate.
I'm not in a great state tonight.
Maybe tomorrow will be better?

I'm glad everyone seems to be doing OK (JoMac, I hope your legs are better) and that Dana resurfaced, too! Coach needed to send the sub to Lake Superior and use the octopus arms to grab her!



I just wanted to let you all know that I am probably the only person with 2 inch long hair to get a TANGLE in the history of chemo hair fallout. I could not believe it...I was in the shower and my hair started really coming out by the handfuls. I was just feeling horrified. I couldn't even open my eyes at first to look, and my scalp was so tender that I was almost afraid to touch it. The hair just kept coming out and coming out, so I started rubbing my head to get it over with faster. Lo and behold, there was loose hair tangled with hair that would NOT come off my head...yes, with hair spewing from my head and landing everywhere, I had to get out of the shower and get scissors to remove the tangle. It's the only thing that kept me from crying today because it seemed so darn funny. And now when I touch my head through my little chemo hat it strikes me as so weird that my head feels hard! No soft hair to make it cushy!



Today I went with my husband, brother-in-law and his girlfriend to a street fair. I was getting tired and was leaning against a tree when the girlfriend started to have a seizure. Well, everyone rushed to help her (she was OK, though) and a couple of people looked at me like I was just heartless because I barely moved from my spot. Little did they know I was practically clinging to that tree for dear life, because I was on the verge of "chemo crashing" from the heat. The humidity here is very low and boy, I was dehydrating fast even though I was drinking water the whole time. (I think some of the weird looks were due to the T shirt I was wearing...it says "FRESHLY SQUEEZED" on the chest...it's from a mammogram campaign!)



I hope you all have a nice week ahead. Michelle, it sounds like you have wonderful coworkers!

Oh, yeah...NoSurrender had a June birthday and didn't even mention it. TSK TSK. Bad coach! How can you not let the JUNIES know you are a born JUNIE???? You, too, BEV!