Watching and waiting

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Dear Friends,

I wish to say thank you for the many pm's inquiring about my absence these last weeks and if I was o.k. I did go on our one week annual vacation in August which was fun. Upon return I had my summer round of doctors appointments including my oncologist, neurologist, cardiologists and others. It's always overwhelming to see so many so I'm going to have to nix this in the future.

Due to ongoing muscle, joint and especially bone pain while on an aromatase inhibitor, my oncologist ordered a bone scan. It showed a hot spot in my cheek bone, and some presumed arthritis in my shoulder joint. Because of jaw pain more tests were done, revealing significant osteoarthritis of my TMJ and no clear lesion in the cheek bone. Various opinions of specialists including an ENT were given, yet the bottom line is no one knows why my facial bone shows a hot spot. Some think it's due to arthritis, some think i may be due to bis phosphate use, but really we just don't know. My cancer markers have been normal range. That puts me in the wait and watch mode which is anxiety provoking and disturbing. So I am thinking...

I missed you all during this time and read many posts. I see the suffering of our friends, as well as the good news of benign findings, controlled disease, and births of babies. The circle of life which we all know so well, yet find so hard to accept as women and men with breast cancer succumb in tender years of life. When is not life tender, dearly held and hard to let go? 

Thank you again for your concern and kindness. Now that I have found my way back to this forum I hope to make posts once again particularly on new discoveries/interpretations/updates from experts on breast cancer in a way you and I can understand. The comradery offered here is one of a kind. Don't give up hope, October is our reminder and I as most don't want to be sucked down the drain of despair. Hoping to donate a little to my favorite research sites, so that research support can continue unabated in these trying economic times.

My best to you all,

Tender

Comments

  • OG56
    OG56 Member Posts: 897
    edited September 2009
    Hope you had a wonderful vacation, of course we miss you when your not around to interpret stat's and reports for us. We are quite dependent on you now, but everyone deserves a break. Glad your back.Cool If it was my jaw they would say it was simply from talking to much! Glad that all your appointments are over.
  • Alpal
    Alpal Member Posts: 1,785
    edited September 2009

    Welcome back. I, too, was concerned about you. Your wise counsel has been sorely missed.

  • SoutherMother
    SoutherMother Member Posts: 111
    edited September 2009

    You were missed.  Glad you are back.

  • baywatcher
    baywatcher Member Posts: 532
    edited September 2009

    Glad that you are back. My fingers are crossed that your facial bone hot spot amounts to nothing. It is hard not to be concerned but try not to stress over it. Easier said than done though, I know.

  • orange1
    orange1 Member Posts: 930
    edited September 2009

    Its good to hear from you - we missed you around here.

    Sorry that you have this hot spot that is causing anxiety.  Hoping that the low tumor markers are providing a little emotional relief.  

    Take care.  

  • Gitane
    Gitane Member Posts: 1,885
    edited September 2009

    It's good to see you back here posting. G.

  • sue_blue
    sue_blue Member Posts: 416
    edited September 2009

    Thank you so much for posting again. I, too, have been concerned about you. I have missed reading your wise counsel and valuable posting of information.

    I can relate to the pain of osteoarthritis and hot spots. My hip continues to image abnormally, but stable. I have 25% loss of kidney function from chemo and contrast dyes, so no more NSAIDs. I can't believe how I feel, it's a good day if I am not reduced to tears at some point. I have a three month check in October, so we'll see...

    Anyway, welcome back. 

  • TenderIsOurMight
    TenderIsOurMight Member Posts: 4,493
    edited September 2009

    Thank you all for your kind words. Each fork in this journey's road leads to greater empathy for my sisters and brothers here, much insight gleaned from threads/posters whose challanges are far greater than mine and beyond my current comprehension.

     It's nice to be back. 

    Tender

  • flash
    flash Member Posts: 1,685
    edited October 2009

    Glad to have you back.  Dreck on the watch and wait mode. I hope it's all for naught and things are fine.

  • lovemyfamilysomuch
    lovemyfamilysomuch Member Posts: 1,585
    edited October 2009

    Dear Tender,

    We do not know each other, but I want to comment on a wonderful line in your post "when is life not tender, dearly held, and hard to let go".  It evokes such feeling in me.  Thank you!  In sisterhood, xo 

  • Kindergarten
    Kindergarten Member Posts: 4,869
    edited October 2009

    Dear Tender, Hope you are doing well!!! Your kindness and knowledge has touched us all. God bless you, Kathy

  • TenderIsOurMight
    TenderIsOurMight Member Posts: 4,493
    edited October 2009

    Today I saw a new breast surgeon as my surgeon retired after many years of helping greatly in our disease. I have implants, and my right cancer hx side has gotten bigger since they were placed. So I'll have a MRI soon.

    Thinking of all of you here, and Flalady in Florida who rests on my mind always. Thank you for your kind support.

    Best to you all,

    Tender 

  • nash
    nash Member Posts: 2,600
    edited October 2009

    So glad you're back, Tender. I'm sorry you're going through a challenging period. Will be thinking of you.

  • Isabella4
    Isabella4 Member Posts: 2,166
    edited October 2009

    Tender, you were missed.

    I always enjoy your posts. Wishing you the best with your 'hot spot', and with your new surgeon.

    Isabella.

  • Bren-2007
    Bren-2007 Member Posts: 6,241
    edited October 2009

    Dear Tender,

       I've missed you.  I just found this thread tonight .. and wanted to let you know you're in my thoughts.

    Much love and many hugs,

    Bren

  • LizM
    LizM Member Posts: 963
    edited October 2009

     Hi Tender,

     I have been on quite a long break as well and decided to check in.  Sorry to hear that you have been in the watch and wait mode.  You and I seem to have a lot of the same side affects and symptoms.  I also have lots of joint muscle pain, especially in my neck and shoulder area and pain in my jaw off and on.   I also have TMJ and am on bisphosphonates (sp)  and suspect if I had a bone scan I'd have a hot spot in my jaw too.  Keeping my fingers crossed that it is nothing related to bc (sounds to me like it isn't).  

    Take Care,

     Liz 

  • LisaSDCA
    LisaSDCA Member Posts: 2,230
    edited October 2009

    "MRI soon" ~ any results you can share?

    This watching and waiting stuff is the pits, isn't it?!?

    Lisa  [who missed you terribly]

  • otter
    otter Member Posts: 6,099
    edited October 2009

    Tender, I just now saw your post in this forum (thanks to Lisa for reactivating the thread). How could I have missed it???  I am thinking of you, and hoping your imaging results were "NVL" = NED.

    Hugs...

    otter 

  • TenderIsOurMight
    TenderIsOurMight Member Posts: 4,493
    edited October 2009

    Well, I got the call from the new breast cancer surgeon's office on Friday afternoon. This was my first scan of the chest area since my cancer diagnosis (I'm year eight). The MRI showed no evidence of cancer recurrence or lymphadenopathy. Yea. It showed some uptake in the prophylactic side muscle of undetermined significance. They read it as BIRADS II-benign finding. So all looks well which is a great relief. I'm to see the new surgeon once a year for clinical exam and perhaps another scan.

    This brings up a point. My oncologist and prior surgeon (retired) as well as a University based surgeon said clinical exam is sufficient with implants. However the bc surgeon felt monitoring with MRI is advisable in a patient with bc history periodically. I do have some changes though: my implant has migrated and the is some fullness to the cancer side not present on the prophylactic side: undoubtedly some contraction of the implant from the radiation effect on the skin/tissue. 

    I will see a plastic surgeon soon. I wish to just observe the cancer side if possible, not have more surgery just now. My implant is intact, they are felt to last at least ten years, and my chest wall is not rock hard.

    Thank you for your help and concern. Lisa, I've been reading the threads and am glad you got the scooter and hope your sutures/staples come out soon.

    Best to you all,

    Tender

  • orange1
    orange1 Member Posts: 930
    edited October 2009

    Tender -

    I am so happy to see your good news.  Whew what a relief. 

    Take care.

  • Gitane
    Gitane Member Posts: 1,885
    edited October 2009

    Hi Tender,  It's a relief to know that your scans came back with such good news.  It's difficult to wait and wonder.  I appreciate the information about monitoring the implants.  My "cancer" side is firmer and higher.  I attribute that to an aggressive surgeon who took lots of skin just to be safe.  I'll ask my PS, too, about keeping an eye on it.  I would love to just let it be for 10 years.  Keeping you in my thoughts as we continue on this road. G.

  • LisaSDCA
    LisaSDCA Member Posts: 2,230
    edited October 2009

    Tender ~ so relieved for you. But I know you'll monitor it closely. Good luck on your PS visit - I hope he concurs with both you and your other doctors.

    So good to have you back!

    Lisa

  • GracieM2007
    GracieM2007 Member Posts: 1,564
    edited October 2009

    Hi, Tender, I'm relieved for you too.  I haven't been here for a while, just came back on a few weeks, just kind of lurked for a long time.  Waiting sucks.  I'm playing that game right now too.  Lower back pain, PET scan, bone scan, dexa scan, then see the onc on Tuesday.  Sigh.  This is not a fun time for anyone.  Hiya, bren, talked to you on the other thread.  You and I went through chemo around the same time.  I was on the June 2007 thread.  Just about all of my sisters on that thread are out living their lives.  I posted on it just recently and couldnt' find anyone.  Of course, we have lost several and that's hard.

    Anyway, waiting here too. 

  • helena67
    helena67 Member Posts: 357
    edited October 2009

    Hi Tender,

    Glad to learn that the news was good!! Really happy for you...

    I have an implant too on one side (prophylactic) whereas the cancer side still needs to be reconstructed. I think it may end up as a lat flap with an implant underneath. In any case, I am high risk and pondering various kinds of follow-up. I think too that I should push for an MRI at least every 18 months, maybe with clinical exams and ultrasounds in between.

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