SEPTEMBER 2009 RADS

Hi! I noticed the same thing, light blonde hairs all over my face. I googled about it and it appears to be a pretty common thing post chemo that other patients have said goes away. They liken it to a newborn's skin that often times has that downy texture. Let's think of it as being re-born getting past the traumas and starting anew.(I did however shave it off! Patients who also experienced this said it didn't make it come back more coarse)

Elimar ~ my doctor didn't admit the heartburn has anything to do with rads.  Her favorite line is "must be attributed to stress".  The only SE she has admitted to is the fatigue.  Sometimes I feel like a hypochondriac when I address an issue with her.  I KNOW I didn't have some of these symtoms before rads and hopefully they will go away when it's over.  Hope the Prilosec is working for you.  I've been avoiding a lot of foods and taking Mylanta.  Yuk! 

Thank goodness for all of you, otherwise I would be totally alone in this whole nightmare.

When I mention to friends or even family that I am almost done with rad, they say something like, "Now see, you made it thru this whole thing just fine and now it's all over with and you're done".  No I didn't make it thru just fine, and no, it's  not over with, and no, I'm not done, not by a long shot.  All I do is just smile and nod and sometimes fight back tears.  But I'm not glad you are all going thru what I am and worse, but I'm sure glad you're there!

They told me no heat/no cold on my chest. A cool cloth sounds wonderful to pull the heat out. I am going to try it. Maybe they meant no ICE PACK (which is what I asked about) but a cool cloth is ok. I will ask again this morning. I would love that.

#22 for me today.  Starting to get pink and a little itchy and tender. I just want the weekend to come already for a little break.  10/9 is the end date for me and I am really counting down now!

Amy

Okay ladies, I love hearing about those who are halfway through or on their last few treatments.  It helps remind me that I too will come to that time.  But, not at the rate I am going.  The last two days, my tx has been canceled because of problems with the machine not to mention the one day last week. .  I know they can't help it but AAAGGGHHHH!!!!!!   I can't get through this way.... I started two weeks ago and I have had 7 txs...

Sorry I haven't posted in so long but I tend to forget and didn't have this one on my email reminders.  I completed #22 today also.  So far just have redness on the entire breast but no breakdown.  I am only using pure aloe right after rads and before bed.  My nipple is getting red and tender so they gave me a non stick pad.  That helps keep it from rubbing when I wear my bra.  I hurt my back last week so am on a muscle relaxant at night so am actually getting more sleep than ususal.  Hard to know if the fatique is from the rads or the muscle relaxant.  I am continuing to work fulltime.  I was told yesterday that next week they will do xrays again so they can target the lumpectomy area.  This is the first I heard of that or at least the first time it registered.  I too will be glad when rads is done.  I am fortunate that I did not have to have lymph nodes and only had to have the lumpectomy twice.  Hopefully I will get through the rest of this without any worse side effects.

Ladies - just got back from my 23rd rad. All is fine, BUT I had my weekly meeting with the rads doc, who just checks to be sure you are doing ok. So I asked him about the rad hitting my heart/lung.  Now I remember distinctly that in our consult he said that they used to hit the heart/lungs directly but now they are able to 'bend the rays' to go around those organs. That was very comforting to me and I went into rads with confidence. NOW TODAY, I ask again for clarification as it had come up in a discussion with someone recently and I wasn't totally sure how it worked. So today he says yes, some rays do definitely hit the side of the heart and part of the lung (my tumor was on the left, I guess those w/ a right side tumor would only have the lung to worry about). But that in all these tests going back to 1922 (I got quite a history lesson on the development of rads), there is no clinical evidence that the level of rads that hit our heart/lungs could have any noticeable effect, either scientifically or in quality of life.  So I asked - "So I will have scar tissue on part of my lungs? my heart?"  He says yes.  I ask how much, like 15%? He says yes, no more than 15%.

He gave me this whole rap about how we are bombarded with radiation every day throughout our lives in the atmosphere and there is no higher risk of developing a malignancy from these rads as from anything else. And no noticeable change in lung or heart function.  Then when I said that was hard news to hear, he asked if I thought I needed counseling to deal with it!  I said no, that I just needed some time to absorb/digest this information.

But it DID shake me up. Is this news to any of you or did everybody know this but me?

Thanks - 

Amy

Amy - I asked my Dr. a few weeks ago.  he said a small part of my lung was being radiated and it was just brushing my heart.  He said it wasn't any big deal, but it could show up on a chest x-ray and then tell them at that time about the radiation.  I knew this from reading on the internet, that when it's your left breast, this is pretty much inevitable.  It also said that years down the road there is a slight chance of heart problems, but it is rare.  Oh, well, what can you do?  Just try and not think about it. I'm just so happy I had my last full radiation today, yea!, and start my 6 boosts tomorrow.  I'll be done a week from tomorrow.

Titan - I don't think we're going to be on our own for a long time.  I mean, my breast surgeon said I'd be seeing alot of her and then there's the oncologist that will be a continuous appointment, then mammograms, and I guess we even have to go back and see the rad onco.  I just wish they would all leave me alone so I can't get back to "normal"  don't look like it's going to happen.  I felt lots of anxiety at first, its been better lately, I think I'm just getting sort of use to all this "stuff".

Titan --I am getting more anxious lately too--maybe the realization of all these rads going into my body--and wondering if i am ok and my tissues are ok

Betsy--i asked my doc about boosts too --she said they would look at the ct and figure out from the biopsy and surgery where to do it--it my case she said it might be a little difficult since i had a small tumor and a mastectomy not a lumpectomy-- they try to get the area as best they can without having the rads hit too far down--and said sometimes it is a judgement call--that really freaked me out --I have an implant but it  has been smaller and deflatted since surgery so although she said it would add some protection I know it cant be much cause it is sorta flat at the top -- this is makeing me a little nervous too--I have had 18 as of today and will have 27 before boosts so I will again discuss this-- i think it is important for us to get all the info even if we have to ask many times!!!good luck and make sure you are comfortable with the location--it is enough we dont know where these rays are really hitting let alone wondering if they are in the right area-- Laura

Kawee..can't thank you enough for the support... no one here is even asking me how I feel anymore,,my dh, my kids, my parents, my friends, my co-workers...I know it shouldn't be all ABOUT ME..but damn it ...it is!  I think it is the uncertainty of it all...ok..I have to see the doctor every 3months...check...feel myself up...check....freak out about evey pain..check...exercise, eat right, take calcium Vit D3...check...it's like I stare at all the vitamins..buying them..hoping they will work against a reocurrence...but everyone around me seems to think it is all OVER...but it isn't...or IS IT!  How do we do know?  We don't..and that is the freaky thing...I just want to be one of those old ladies that said I have breast cancer 40 years ago!  But you just don't know...I'm trying to get my mind around the fact that I need to LIVE NOW...maybe it just takes some time....maybe it does get better.....

Anyway,,if any of you read this thanks for letting me rant!  Both of my kids are in college now and I'm trying to get used to the empy nest...plus breast cancer...I HATE those words...

The thing is..I have never ever felt sick..I find the lump, had it taken out, had chemo and rads and went through everything very well...all my blood is good and physically...because of exercising and working out I have never felt better...it is the MIND thing that is so hard to control.

Thanks for listening!

Anyway...my DH and I are going away for a few days...going to Ocean Isle..after rads...has anyone been there?  We normally go to Hilton Head but it holds to many memories of when the kids were babies..I want to try somewhere new.!.  Plus it will be weird being with my DH alone for 5 days....too many changes!

Betsy..sounds like you  are covering everything...do you think we drive the onc's nuts because of what we learn from this forum? IF so..good...Where was your tumor..close to the chest wall?  Mine was upper right breast and next to the skin..you could see it...  Your tumor was not much bigger than mine...I was 1.8...

Maybe the heartburn is from stress...it really could be...we don't have the Zantac..etc from chemo to keep us from throwing up so it may be stress related...Rads. are much easier than chemo but there is also nothing except for creams to help us out....chemo..well..we were in a fog with all the drugs...rads...we don't have anything...which is really good..I hated being in that fog all the time......sometimes I try to think back to events of this summer and I have a hard time remembering some of them...my son's graduation, etc...it sucks..but I really can't remember all of this...I hope I had FUN!

I've posted before about the rads hitting 20% of my lung.  I made a little fuss about it to the doctor and he put some in some blocks so that now *only* about 12-13% of my lung is getting hit.  I have NEVER been comfortable with the "collateral damage" to my lung. There's still a LOT of room for improvement in the treatment of breast cancer, in my opinion.

Well, maybe the acid indigestion is "stress" OR MAYBE they all go to the same Rads Convention where they practice learning how to say that very convincingly.  I'm not buying the "stress" line - no way, no how.

Elimar - Don't let them get you to doubt yourself !!! I'm willing to bet that this isn't the first time that your mind or body has been under major stress. Have you noticed that the medical profession tends to use this as an explanation for anything (esp. re: women) that defies simple explanation. -from gaining weight, losing weight, headaches, missing periods, and the list goes on and on ?

All - My rad techs came up with a BRILLIANT solution to the ink vs. tattoo issue. They've made a template. They put a flexible clear plastic 8x10 sheet over me, marked my nipple, sugical scar and all ink marks on it so that even if I lose one of the 2 very small tegaderm squares covering the 2 essential ink marks, they can fix it by using the template. Horray for two very creative ladies !!