What does Stage IV mean?

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  • dreamwriter
    dreamwriter Member Posts: 3,255
    edited July 2009

    Ok to answer your questions.  If you live in the US, I do not think you quit your job.  If you are in Canada and have insurance for short term and long term coverage, you are essentially retired without being retired.  I would get all the paperwork done, Power of Attorney for Medical, Power of Attorney for Property, Will, Living Will, etc.  This ensures your wishes are carried out.  If you enter Palliative Care Facilities you are already DNR.  So if you dont want to be, stay home.  If you go to ER they will ask if you are DNR - if your heart stops, do you let that be the end of it. I was diagnosed as 9 to 12 months.  So we got everything done in a rush.  But I am passed the 3 and a half mark so that was a little off.

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  • brrenda12
    brrenda12 Member Posts: 3
    edited September 2009

    Hi,

    I just wanted to let you know that my mother lived seven years after she was diagnosed with Stage IV.  She was such an inspiration.

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  • EnglishMajor
    EnglishMajor Member Posts: 2,495
    edited September 2009

    Two things--Like many people, I have used the bus metaphor. You know, "Well, tommorrow, I could get hit by a bus, so who knows?" Today, I actually SAW someone get hit by a bus. Kind of--the woman was not watching where she was going, stepped off the curb and got grazed by a slow moving bus pulling out. She got a big knot on her forehead. So, while I still have Stage IV cancer, I see now that it could be worse.

    The second thing... I presented with Stage IV with a solitary bone metases. I won't have chemo unless/until endocrine therapy proves to be ineffective. Surgery is still up in the air. I was asymptomatic and remain so. I don't feel too bad.

     Part of me thinks I should just go with the flow and fudge when people ask how long treatment will last or refer to getting well soon, but part of me feels obligated to be honest. It's something I have to live with and to pretend I don't almost seems like avoiding reality. 

    I have met several Stage IV breast cancer patients, most with very advanced cases. I'm far from that point. My question is, what and when did you tell people?

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  • ElaineD
    ElaineD Member Posts: 2,265
    edited September 2009

    English Major, close friends and family know the full horror of the situation-it's only fair. But otherwise to others, I simply say that I will be on one form or another of treatment for the rest of my life. Putting aside all the bus analogies,and the fact that nobody knows when they'll die anyway, the greatest likelihood is that the vast majority of us will die of either the cancer or the side effects to the treatment, so I make this clear, while saying too, that there are new treatments coming on stream regularly, and that any one of them may give me additional months. Usually people accept that, and are decent enough to back off and leave it at that, although a few have tended to talk about miracles (yeah, right!)

    I genuinely don't see the point in living in denial over this-yes, there will be a few who outlive the average prognosis, and yes, I hope to be one of them. But the odds aren't good.We often get posts asking about longer term survivors, and if it helps to hear that one in "x million" survive for longer than expected, then fine. But realistically, I prefer to accept with as much dignity as possible that my life will be cruelly shortened. This is marginally easier than hoping for a miracle that doesn't happen, and being devastated when it doesn't-it's bad enough when chemos fail to halt the progress of the tumours, let alone aiming for a favourable outcome! I've found that acceptance brings a huge degree of peace to my life-I've seen people ranting and raging against the unfairness of it all-and wasting what precious time they may have. I

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