since my dx

Hi-If you're not opposed to medication; I've been using a small dose of klonopin (clonazapem) for anxiety. This also might help with the paralyzing terror. You might want to touch base with a psychiatrist, preferably an oncology psych before treatment just in case you need the meds you'll have them on hand. I remember when I went to my chemotherapy appts., I'de take Ativan (another pill that helps calm the nerves) and a anti-nausea pill beforehand.

But please be aware that the benzo-drugs (klonopin, valium, ativan & zanax) can be habit-forming. I'm always checking myself to make sure I'm on a low dose.

I also take zoloft for depression. Supposedly works well for hot flashes, PMDD, & social anxiety.

I hope this helps. I promise you I'm not a drug-pusher but I felt sad for you in your description of yourself being paralyzed with terror. Take care of yourself.

Hi Suz42,

I can totally rate to the fear - actually the panic and terror - that you describe. Never in my life have I felt so anxious and vulnerable, I'm usually the 'level headed' one that people come to for advice. I've experienced depression, fear and anxiety like I never dreamed possible since I was diagnosed on June 12. The hardest thing is the seemingly endless waiting between tests, the confusion of trying to learn a whole new language in a short time, and the loneliness at 2 a.m. 

Finally after Labor Day weekend I called my oncologist and said I needed something for the anxiety because it was killing me. She prescribed Xanax and I am also searching out a good therapist who is covered by my insurance plan.  Friday will be my first chemo treatment and yes I am nervous and scared, but I will get through it just as I got through a double mastectomy. 

 You can do this, make sure to ask for help and most of all remember you are not alone, we're all rooting for you.

Kath