Starting Chemo April 2009

Chelev..have fun in New York..that is so cool and I'm so happy for you!

Maybe you had better practice those cartwheels in your gown!

Judy - isn't that first cup of post chemo coffee heavenly???   I remember during tx, I tried to drink my favorite beverage and I just couldn't.  Devasted - I hoped my tastebuds would let me have it back, and they did. 

Betsy, the reason they don't want you losing weight during rads is that they make such precise measurements for your tx that any change in your body shape or form could result in the beams not going to the right place.  I was bummed when I mentioned to my rad onc that I was going to start working out finally and he said not to until I was done.  Even now, with last rads in late June, I have to be careful with weights, because I am still a little tender and swollen.  But, as soon as I was able to, I did jump in with a vengeance.  Good luck!!

Thanks, Dawn!!  As soon as I find out when it will air, I will let you know.  I'm scared but excited!!

Let's see those photos, Dawn!!!

JUDY - I know what you're talking about with the coffee girlfriend, I loooovvvveeee my Starbucks.

CHELEV - I definitely want you to post and let us know when we need to be watching you on TODAY!  I think my hubbby figured the pic thing out, he is supposed to help me.  

HEY BETSY - TITAN - LENA!!! How are ya!  I so wish we could all meet and do what??? Have coffee of course!  I think of you guys often.

 HUGS, Dawn

Hey all..

I'd love to meet for coffee, just name the place and date - it sounds like an adventure. Of course we have to wait until everyone finishes with reconstruction, rads and whatever lingering treatments are out there.

I'm a little off kilter today. My younger sister was just diagnosed with uterine cancer. The little dweeb didn't want to tell me but I could tell something was wrong when I telephoned her last night. So being the good sister I am I pressed. It sounds like the prognosis is good but she hasn't spoken with the oncologist yet, her appointment is on Friday. So she is in the stressed out holding pattern. I know we've all been there, so you ladies can relate. Life sometimes sure feels unfair. 

On another note..listen to this, I'm eating ice cream, yeah ice cream...my fav - Phish Food..and I crack my tooth. Those damn little choc fishies are dangerous! The dental hygenist asked me how I broke it and I said guess! She says carmel corn? I say no, ice cream. LOL. When I tell her I broke on Phish food she said that's my favorite too! The dentist asked me if I had sensitivity to cold. I laughed and said...well I finished my bowl of ice cream so I guess wasn't that bad. No point in wasting perfectly good ice cream, ya know. Sometimes I really wonder how I ever made it this far in life?

Chelev- is your trip to NY this weekend?  

Betsy, so sorry to hear about your sister.

Thinking of you and her!

Judy x

Lena, good morning!  Yes, that is my hair, approx. 5 mos. pfc.  Thanks for the kind words - I do not feel attractive yet - I miss my hair, especially my bangs - I've always had bangs, no matter what length my hair has been, and I hate my face just sticking out there like that!  It's still a little on the thin side, but it's getting there.

Wow, you are waaaaay more computer literate than I am - I am very good with learning programs and can fly around very easily on almost any computer, doing graphic design and web and presentations, etc., but cannot do anything with the insides besides attempting to change a battery once. 

Lena..my eyes crossed and my head started to hurt reading about your computer upgrade.

 Please...tell us another story!  Without the big words!

 Thanks

 Joyce

Chelev..you do look awesome..and happy.....the hairy fairy has been good to you!

Dawn..rads are going well and I love coffee and doughnuts too...!  Cartwheel has been mastered..now on to other things!

I have been told that I'm officially through menopause...the chemo killed my ovaries I guess.  It was really weird...I felt kind of sad about it..I told the nurse that I'm old now...she just laughed...I mean I wasn't going to have any more kids anyway but it's just the finality of it..oh well! 

Titan and Dawn, thanks for the compliments.  I still don't feel 100% "pretty" yet, but I do feel better now that it appears the hairy fairy has decided to stop on my head.  after those three weeks with folliculitis, and the super slow growth, I was almost to the point where I thought I might have to always wear a wig. 

Titan - also - I've been in menopause since 1997 -it's definitely not that bad once you get used to the hot flashes!

And..as for all of us meeting up somwhere...let's do it..why not...Betsy is freaking on the other side of the country but we can get her closer..somehow...I'm in Ohio..midwwest...so I can go east or west...

Hi, ladies.  For anyone who wanted to read my entry for the LGFB contest, here is what I wrote:

Surviving Breast Cancer Has Made Me Feel Strong and Beautiful! by Michele Vongerichten

When I was diagnosed with breast cancer, I went to the doctor's office alone.  My husband offered to go, but he had to work. "It's nothing, don't worry about it," confident that my biopsy results would be fine.  The moment my doctor turned around and said he had bad news for me was surreal.  I am a take charge, go-getter person and I vowed to fight this disease and beat it.  I drove to my husband's job and didn't have to say a word - he could see it in my eyes.  Determined to be strong, I was still terrified - it was a word I never expected to hear regarding my own health and mortality.  There is no history of cancer in my family.  My job is marketing manager for a high end boat manufacturer.  I am in the public eye, working with customers and dealers, and my appearance is important to me - I was worried how I would look during treatments, worrying that I would have those around me focusing on me, the cancer patient, instead of the messages I was conveying about our business. 

When the decision was made to get chemo as an aggressive, preventative measure, I immediately signed up for the Look Good...Feel Better program, as well as stopping by the local cancer association's Wig Closet.  My Look Good...Feel Better  program was shortly after my first chemo session, after I had cut my long brown, beautifully thick hair into a short cut that I wouldn't get attached to, because it was going to fall off.  Cutting my hair was a devasting day - it was the day we decided to go with chemo, and the same day I stopped to look at wigs.  I cried while trying on wigs, feeling suddenly really like a cancer patient and not just as a surgical patient healing.  It hit home for me - I have CANCER and I will be undergoing treatment that will not only affect my body and mind, but my hair will fall out and I will look like a freak. I cried harder while getting my hair cut off, and my husband cried with me, knowing that it was as if a part of me was already gone.  The surgery was easy.  This was devasting.  Starting chemo the next week, I was determined to get through it with as much mental and physical strength as I could - I would and could do it!  The side effects hit me very hard and shook my confidence to the core.  I wasn't sure I wanted to continue with the chemo, but decided that the first one was the worst, and I would keep going. 

When I attended the Look Good...Feel Better workshop, I went with excitement about something just for us women to help build our self esteem.  Boy, did I need it!  With the short ugly hair and the looming knowledge that I would soon be bald, I wanted to learn as much as I could about keeping up my appearance and spirits.  Although the youngest in the class at 46, I felt a kindred spirit in the women who were there with me.  The bag of makeup and products were amazing - the level of quality in what we were playing with and trying on was not what I was expecting and it was so much fun to learn the tips and tricks that would help us.  I returned home feeling like I could stay beautiful, and that I was not alone!  I could do this!  Fifteen days after chemo, we shaved my head.  It was not as traumatic as cutting it, because I knew I was beating the cancer.  I began wearing wigs I had purchased to work and out for errands - and it was a fun game at work of "which look would I have today?" because I had gotten wigs in varying shades of the beautiful brown my hair had been, and lengths from the below shoulders I started with to fun shags, a bob and a short style I knew I'd be wearing when my hair returned.  My eyelashes and eyebrows were still there, so I felt and looked normal. 

I have gone through the hell of chemo, gotten through the weeks of radiation and am growing my hair, eyebrows and eyelashes slowly in.  As I look at myself and the transformations my physical body has made, and the scars across my chest - these are my battle scars.  They are proof I have been to war with breast cancer and armed with the tools and information that I have received from Look Good...Feel Better, the help from the American Cancer Society, my family and friends, and my own inner strength - I have found that it is my courage and strong will to live that has proven to light the fire in my core - and that radiates to my smile and my determination.  I am a survivor, I am a beautiful woman and I will be here on this earth a long time.

Hey Betsy!   Thanks for the positive comments about the menopause...it was just weird to hear that I was through menopause....I have always felt younger than my years and I guess I was thinking that menopause was something that my mom and grandma did..not ME!  Oh well..maybe I need to grow up!

Chelev...loved your entry...made tears come to my eyes....let us know when you are going to be a star!  We need to watch you!

Hey ladies..just got back from our county fair...had chinese food there but then I had FROZEN CHEESECAKE...dipped in chocolate...the radiation team told me to go there and get some and I did.  I guess the lady who runs it makes it herself and she had her treatments at the specialty center.  I wanted to say something to her so bad..I just stood and stared at her...she probably thought I was a freak (and there are many of them at this fair..oops that isn't PC is it)...anyway..it was totally awesome.  I thought I couldn't eat it all but I did...with a little help from the DH.  It is soooo nice to be able to do things like this again...out of the chemo fog and LIVING again...!  It's horrible having cancer but when you can experience the joy of something simple like having a frozen cheesecake ...it just makes life richer...here I go..mumbling again..I just wanted to share it with you.

JudyNaomi...you should have some...it will make your stomach all better again..I betcha!

Hugs to everyone..have a great weekend but I will probably be on here rambling about something tomorrow too!  We are visiting our son at college and I just can't WAIT...haven't seen him for two weeks...an mommy is missing her baby!