Who to tell/ how much/ does it reduce your stress?

We all have different personalities, our needs differ, and we all have different friends.  So there is no 'right' answer for everyone.

I told a few people at work when I was going through the diagnostic period.  I didn't do this in order to relieve the stress, but to explain why I had red, puffy eyes.  (I always look horrible when I cry, and this puffiness can stay for 24 hours. I was crying sporatically at work.  I work in a hospital as a pharmacist.  When I would see the medication orders for someone  with a diagnosis of breast cancer, I'd  cry.  I wanted others to understand that they had not done anything to make me cry.) I read here about some people here who had gotten terrific support from their community - including their social network.

I had my excision at the hospital where I work.  When I handed in my mammos to the radiology clerk, he looked at my diagnosis (verification of LCIS) and says ohhhhh  LCIS!  and when are you having surgery. (As if I didn't know my diagnosis.)  

I worked the graveyard shift the night before my excision, and a collegue came up to me and said that radiology clerk, Tommie, wished me luck on my excision (OK), and then 'advised that I have bilateral mastectomies because a collegue of his had LCIS and that's what she did.'  

This radiology clerk was a friend of someone in my department, but I had only exchanged about 5 words with him in the last 25 years.  

I surely did not appreciate being essentially told by a male stranger that I needed bilateral mastectomies, particularly in the middle of work.

I had another co-worker come up to me and tell me 'I must be the last person in the department to know about your breast problems.'  I thought, well, gee, maybe there's a reason I didn't tell you, since I had only told about 3 people in a department of about 40.

After some brief discussion, I decided that my breast issues are off limits at work.  I have informed a few trusted co-workers about my other medical conditions, but I do not discuss my medical problems with others.

I think almost anyone who has breast problems will get some wacky comments by some people.  I am sure I have made some insensitive remarks to other people.  

The choice is up to you.  Once you tell someone at work, unless you tell them that the information is confidential, and the person is trustworthy enough to hold confidences, your information may spread wide and far.

There is even one person on this site whose boss was informed  by her surgeon that around the time of her mastectomy, she was suicidal. ( What a breach of confidentiality! Who wouldn't have lots of emotional effects when having a mastectomy?)  The boss did not hire her back after she physically recovered.  So she was left without health insurance, etc.

I'm not saying that 'don't tell' is for everybody, because we are all different and in different circumstances.   You will not be alone whatever choice you make.

I was pretty quiet at work and didn't say anything until after my biopsy.  I told my management team immediately and they told our charge nurses.  From there I told a few close co-workers and then just kind of let it go through the 'grapevine'.   It is not really a great conversation starter--"hi, guess what?  I have BC!".   The support I have had from my co-workers is unbeleivable.  They are the most awesome group ever.  I just felt that they needed to know, but at the same time I wasn't really sure how to tell them.  Now that I am facing Chemo, I have done the same esp since I am not back at work yet.  I told a few and let them get the word out.   Just the way I chose to do it.