No Family History, but Sister has BC

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scottiemom
scottiemom Member Posts: 3
edited June 2014 in Caring for Someone with Breast cancer

The shock of a lifetime! With no familial history, my little sister has been diagnosed with a "very large" cancer.  We do have an aunt on my father's side of the family but I was told this is not considered as putting her at risk. The calculator gave her a less than 1% chance of developing breast cancer.She underwent her 3rd round of chemo and has one more to go, then at least a 3 week wait before we see how things are. The good news is that the biopsy of the nodes shows that it has not spread but I am curious why they are doing chemo before surgery.  I thought it was done as a follow up.  Anyone have information on what the procedure is after the chemo? She is 46 and my best friend.  I love her so much that my heart feels as though it will break and if I should lose her, I don't think I would ever stop mourning until my last breath.  She is so brave.  Never utters any complaint.  She's just a little upset about her hair.  I thank God that she hasn't suffered as much nausea, thanks to the steroids and I have resolved to be the strong big sister so that she doesn't have an even heavier weight.  She and her husband (good man) live 8 hours away and have decided not to tell our parents until there is good news.  They are elderly and the fact is that it would cause them to worry themselves to death because of their inability to do anything.  I am much older (12 years) but I am a poor substitute for a mother's love.  What can I do to help her?

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  • crazy4carrots
    crazy4carrots Member Posts: 5,324
    edited September 2009

    Hi Scottiemom:

    Tell your sister about Madalyn!  We all need to hear encouraging stories, because for so long we've thought of cancer as the signal that we might not have too long left to live.  Not true!

    I had a similar experience to yours when, several years ago, my big sister (8 years older) was diagnosed with leukemia.   I was able to do a few things for her (made her cotton jersey caps to wear when she lost her hair; sent her a couple of wigs that I thought would look good on her -- and they did!).  But probably the thing that meant most to her was the regular phone calls to her (she was receiving tx in Lansing, MI and I live in Ontario).  We were able to talk about everything she was feeling and going through -- stuff she didn't want her kids or dh to know.  I was closely involved with our big cancer hospital in Toronto and would check with the oncs there about her tx, so at least she had some extra verification that her docs in Lansing were doing everything possible for her.

    Sadly, she didn't survive her leukemia, but i like to think that I helped her a bit through it.

    But bc is different!  I'm sure she needs to hear good stories, and if you scroll through some of the threads on this site, you'll find many good stories to pass along to her.  Just keep loving her, keep in touch with her, let her know she can tell you ANYTHING, and think ahead to when she will be well and strong again.  That's what my two other older sisters and brother have done for me, and it really means the world when you're feeling down.

    Cyberhugs to you both!

    Linda

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  • dreaming
    dreaming Member Posts: 473
    edited September 2009

    The chemo sometimes is given before surgery to make smaller the tumor, do not pay attention to statistics, the only thing for certain is that around 84% of breast cancer are on women with no risk factors, I am the only one that had cancer in my family,had my children before I was 30, breastfed, never took hormones o birth control, etc, etc, I am the kind of person that do not look into why I had it. To help her do not change your way of treating, and make sure that people around her are positive and do not come with doom stories, I went though that and I became rude"If  what your are telling me is not with a good ending  do not tell me"

    She is lucky to have you as a sister.

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