radiation depression

I am half way thru my radiation treatment.  I know I am so lucky.  My lumpectomy was tiny.  My margins were clean.  My lumph nodes were clean.   30 radiation treatments and I might be totally cured of BC maybe for my lifetime.  who knows.

 but every day I find it hard to go to the hospital.  Not because I am exhausted but because I am depressed.  I retired in the spring and wanted to travel.  I want to go visit my brother and get some comfort from him.  I do speak to him daily but it would be nice to see his face.  My husband had his own medical issues so I am not burdening him with mine.  

So far fighting thru the depression is working.  I was working out to get thru it but lately I have developed aches in my leg and walking hurts.  I feel like an old woman which depresses me even more.   

How do you all get thru this?  the medical issues of BC are bad enough but the depression of knowing life will never be the same again.  WOW!  my hysterectomy was easier than this.  Of course it was not cancer.  

only 14 more treatments.  God bless those of you going thru chemo.  what I am doing is bad enough.