Starting Chemo April 2009

Hello All,

 New to this website for various reasons the main one being that we finally have high speed internet instead of dial up.  I wish I would have been here from the beginning, it would have been nice to follow along with everyones progress and stories.

 I am from Ortonville, Michigan and am 52 years old, married with no children just two wonderful dogs (Smokey and Bandit).   I was diagnosed with stage 2 breast cancer in February and started my chemo treatments (Taxotere) on April 3rd.  The cancer had not spread to my lymph nodes, which was the best news of all!   I had four treatments of Taxotere over a twelve week period which did nothing to shrink the tumor but did wonders for my hair:-)  Started the A/C treatments on June 25th and just finished my last treatment on August 6th.  There was very little left of the tumor after my last treatment!   Had a Lumpectomy on August  17th and have heard from the doctors office that the pathology report looks good.  I will follow up with him next week for more details.

 I had a port put in but had to have it removed after the third treatment because of a blood clot.  Spent a week in the hospital trying to get someone to make a decision.  I am now giving myself daily shots of Arixtra for the clot but my Onc. feels like I should be able to stop after a couple of more weeks.  

My hair started coming out after the first treatment but I was prepared for it and already had my wig ordered.  My eyebrows and eyelashes did not start falling out until after my second treatment on the A/C.  Now they are almost gone, quite amusing.  I also continued to work until after the blood clot.  After spending a week in the hospital I finally realized that I just didn't have the strength to work.  I have been on short term disability since and plan to return to work the beginning of October.

I have lost three fingernails and one toenail, also quite amusing.  The good news is that the rest of my nails no longer feel like they are going to come off if I touch them.  I feel as if I am regaining strength each day.  I actually went for a very short walk with my husband and the dogs yesterday.  Aslo my taste buds are starting to come back, yahoo!

The main reason I have gotten through this is because of the support of my family and friends.  My sister-in-law, whom I am close too, has gone to every doctors appointment, test and treatment I have had.  She is my go to person and was the second person I told after I was diagnosed.  One of the other reasons I have gotten through this is a sense of humor, well at least most of the time.

I have not read all the threads yet but plan on starting from beginning and working my way through.  I know we all have stories to tell and I truly wish I could have been a part of all of your journeys from the beginning.  

My next phase is radiation.  I have been told that is the normal protocol but I am not yet convinced that I will go that route.  A lot will depend on what my doctor has to say next week.

 Well thanks all for listening and best of luck to you all.

Congratulations, Pam, hurray, hurray!!! Have a great time in Maine - it is such a beautiful state. I like your reference to "closing a chapter" - that really is true, because our stories really will never end.

Welcome wingnu - you will have quite a few laughs and maybe some tears as your read through this post from the very beginning - it will probably take you some time - but there are some terrific women on this thread, with incredible stories to tell.

 I have noticed the postings are growing fewer because many are moving onto the rads boards.  I am awaiting the "great unveiling" of my new girls on Thursday - (the mummy look is getting really old!!).  I won't be moving to the rads because this is my crossroads.  Perhaps I will peek in the "bottle o' tamoxofin" thread and continue to check in here occassionally. As always, I will hold all of you in my thoughts and prayers as you move through your individual journies.  Bon voyage.  Tammy

Wingnu - welcome! Please feel free to join us on the September 2009 rads board. It is just getting started, as some of us have started our radiation in late August (like me!).  We'd love to have you there going through the process with us.

Pam - SO HAPPY FOR YOU! I had my first Herceptin only a week ago and it was NOTHING compared to chemo. You will notice the difference immediately. I am on top of the world about it.

Chelev - what chemo would the new doc have prescribed? that is weird. I guess this is more art than science in some ways. I'm so glad you love her.

Hoping everyone is getting stronger every day!

Amy

Hi all,

Chelev - I will not be done with Taxol until September 22nd ( 4 more treatments), and then will be on Herceptin weekly until June next year.  I'm just happy to see the end of the chemo coming!  I won't be doing rads, since I had a mastectomy and where the cancer was, not near the chest wall.  I will be on Arimidex, but onc told me today, he won't start that until after Herceptin is done.  So, I will be an April girl on chemo for a while longer - anyone else?

Pam - Whoo hoo - all done with chemo - that is great - I'm right behind you. Enjoy Maine - I'm going to Lake Placid, NY for 4 days this weekend...my "getting ready to re-join the world" trip.

Wingnu - you will find much support and information on these boards - most everyone will tell you that we all experience side effects ( or not) differently, so you take what applies to you and you will find some incredible women here.

Tammy - hope you and "the girls" have a wonderful coming out party!

JudiNaomi and HRF - Hope you are both doing well.

I know I've missed many others, but I am thinking of you all.

I saw a church bulletin board by my house today and it had a new message on it (they change it monthly.) I thought of all of us on these boards and all who unfortunately have yet to come, and I wanted to share it.  I am not a particularly religious person, but I am spiritual, and it touched me, as I hope it will you -

" God never promised a smooth journey, just a soft landing"

Here's to soft landings for us all!

Geri

Hi again!

How're you all feeling? Finished my last scan today (PET) and I'm "free" until Sept 10th, at which time I get to see my oncologist and get the bad news, er, scan results, and find out what horrors he'll suggest next. 

Titan -- Yes, I got to have SEX (saying it loud and proud) when my Pack Rat was here!  :-D I even had the energy to ravish him a bit too, not to mention the coming like a freight train part. Woo-HOO!  I'm still going to pass on the "dog thing" with regards to my Mycelium Head -- since the growth is colorless and isn't easy to see (except in the bathroom under the only bright light I've got), I did tell him to put his hand on my head so he could feel it, but once was enough. No car windows for me because I will NOT open my apt door bareheaded until my hair is AT LEAST DOWN TO MY SHOULDERS, much less go outside in public like that. I hated it that I "had to" go bareheaded in front of my Pack Rat because it was too hot/humid to wear my scarf (but when we did the laundry and went outside a couple times, I did put my wig on for THAT). 

So your husband thinks you're SEXY bald? (and yours does too, Linda?) Well, that's good! Truth be told, while my Pack Rat is very physically affectionate (hugs, kisses and cuddles a lot even when he's NOT trying to have sex), he's not at all one for VERBAL affection. Even before I got cancer, he never once said to me, "You're beautiful" or "You're sexy." If I ever complained about anything about my looks he'd exclaim "You're way too critical!" and there was the one time when we were in bed and he ran his hand up one of my legs, grinned, and said "do these go on forever?" But that's the closest he ever got to TELLING me I was beautiful or sexy. So since the cancer, when I'd say my baldness makes me hideous, his comments are "you're way overreacting, it's not nearly as bad as you think."  I figure, he MUST have considered me beautiful and sexy before cancer because he would touch and hold me whether he was trying to get me into bed or not (and since he'd initiate too, it's not like he ONLY slept with me when I initiated it), and since that didn't change after I lost my hair, I guess he must still think so...

Linda -- Obviously I got "brave" this weekend too, going openly bald in front of my Pack Rat like that (the only time I covered my head was when we left the apt, but indoors I was always bareheaded), but I honestly wouldn't have been so "brave" if it had been cool enough to wear my scarf. 

This hair thing kind of brings me to a bit of a longish story (those of you who like my writing, thanks for the compliment, and, you'll enjoy this...those of you who are too polite to tell me I'm a longwinded bore can simply skip on to the next person's post LOL)...

I had a little bit of an adventure Friday afternoon (which is why I'm amazed I had energy for the sex LOL). I went to the supermarket, complimenting myself on the way down there that I timed it well (i.e., going before the traffic got bad and still being able to get home in time for a good parking spot), and I didn't even get too confused while shopping (the last time I was at a grocery store I spent 20 mins trying to figure out if "granulated garlic" was the same thing as "garlic powder" since they didn't have either my usual brand of garlic powder or any other brands of "garlic powder" in the size I like to buy: only the "granulated garlic" was in the right size). So this time was going kind of well. They were even selling umbrellas, too, and I needed a new one so I bought a couple of them actually. But then, while at the checkout, as soon as I finished paying, I hear a huge thunderclap, look up at the window, and the sky has opened up and it's POURING!

And that's when I lose my mind and the chemo brain kicks back in. I'm thinking for a split second "it's OK, I have an umbrella now," but it's not just raining, but DOWNPOURING, and I have enough groceries to load up the trunk, and I realize there's no way I can hold the umbrella over my head and push the shopping cart all the way to my car, much less hold it while I unload the stuff into the trunk, not to say anything about getting the stuff into the apartment once I get home -- and I also think about how my wig will be totally ruined if I let it get more than drizzled on -- horrors! So, I got out of the way of other shoppers and waited in the store for about 20-30 mins for the downpour to slow to a very light drizzle. Thank goodness it did, for long enough to get to the car, load up the trunk, put the cart away and start to drive home. As soon as I get out of the supermarket parking lot though, the rain picks back up and the downpour resumes. I got a good parking spot when I got home, but it was still downpouring and I realize I'd put the umbrellas IN THE TRUNK with the food! So I sit in the car for 20 mins hoping it'll slow down again, only it doesn't. But I have to get the stuff upstairs -- the majority of it is for the freezer and it was 90-something and humid out...

Finally I pop the hood of the trunk (and unlock the rear door on the driver side for the "old lady cart" I use to bring groceries from the car to the apt building, run out and bring the bag with the umbrellas into the car, calm down and pull out an umbrella. Boy they sure don't make umbrellas like they used to! Why the fuck do they have to package them up in plastic and crap? Is somebody going to eat them and ingest cyanide or something?! And what happened to that nice easy "thumb thingie" to open and close them? Took me ten minutes to figure out how to get the packaging off and then get the umbrella to open!

Obviously I got the umbrella open, managed to get the trunk unloaded and the groceries upstairs, and NOT get my wig messy awful rained on and ruined. You know, if I had my real hair (or perhaps wasn't embarrassed as all hell at the thought of being bald in public), I wouldn't have minded -- I'd have actually enjoyed it!  In fact, I remember a day when I was working at this major pharmaceutical company, a hot summer day just like Friday, cloudy with a "chance" of rain, and that day I hadn't brought an umbrella to work with me. It didn't rain all day, until I got off work -- the moment I was about to walk out the door, the sky opened up and there was a tremendous downpour (exactly like what I saw at the supermarket checkout). So I stand there for a moment, no umbrella, my car is parked about half a mile away (really! ISYN! huge company, multibuilding "campus" setup, huge distant parking lots), and I KNOW I'm going to get totally drenched -- so I decided I may as well enjoy it! I walked out the door and had FUN stomping in the puddles like a little kid, all the way out to the car! It rained like that for my whole commute, and when I got home, you know what I did? Ran up to my apartment, grabbed rags and dish soap, went back out, washed my car and thought if not for the fact that it's illegal to be naked outside, it would've been fun to take a SHOWER in the rain too!

Yup, fog's clearing a bit.  This evening, I actually began to look into what it would take for me to do a Sims hack one of my favorite artistic creators requested a couple months ago, and I've got an IDEA on how to do it! Of course it's a tedious idea, and I'm hoping to come up with a better way to do it, but if I can STAY FOCUSED ON THE DETAILS, I can pull it off...it'll be inelegant but it'll do what she wants it to do. I'd really like to make this for her because stuff she made was what made my theme game possible in the first place. Our talents are different -- she's artistic, I'm a hacker with no artistic talent. Meaning she deals with designing and appearances, while I deal with functions and motives (the innards/how it works/what it does). She's too caught up in her artistic creating to have time to get seriously into hacking, so that's why she'd posted on one of the Sims forums, "Need a Hacker....." and requested this object, and said if anyone could make it, she'd jump for joy! She's been making ME jump for joy for three years now, so I'd really love to be able to accommodate her.

hrf -- Maybe you need to haunt the Hormonal Treatment area of the forum, I'm sure there must be women on Arimidex who can tell you if eyebrow/eyelash loss is an Arimidex SE and what it does to hair.....and definitely I think you should ask your oncologist about that when you next see him/her.

Pam -- that's great! :-)

Geri -- yikes, you're STILL doing your chemo? Oh wow! I hope you're feeling OK.

OK, gotta go now... time to take my evening meds...

~Lena.

Thanks for your good wishes and thoughts - I am sorry that I don't mention each of you individually, but I think of you all every day and check postings regularly.

This site has been a life saver for me - thank you!!!

Have a good evening, Judy xxxxx

Hi Josybee - I had 4 Taxol DD. The first one brought very bad leg pains, which lasted a few days, but the second and third were much better. The fourth was also quite bad.

It did pass though. I felt that walking helped it more than trying to sit or lie down.

Good luck to you!!!

Judy xoxo

Yea! Pam from your chemo buddy! We made it. I must say two weeks PFC I am feeling better everyday. My energy is improving and my taste buds are getting better and better. Almost all of my mouth sores are healed. WHOOHOOO

I am going to see the oncologist later today and will get an idea on when radiation will start. Ready to get this show on the road! I am getting a glimpse of how it will feel to be normal again.

Has your hair started growing yet Pam?

Josybee, I am glad you are feeling better today. May it continue!

Have a restful evening and night, Judy xxx

Linda,

I am opting in for the tumor mark test on my next blood test..unfortunately it won't be until November. In my discussion about the test, my onc indicated a lot of things can make it go up. He said they don't even view it as an issue to monitor until after the third or fourth up tick. He said they will be looking for trends..not a single reading. Hope this info helps.

On the hair front, I can actually see without a magnifying glass very blonde hairs...or are those gray little suckers? And I have the beginnings of some lashes coming on. Nothing to brag about, but better than nothing. No brows to speak of...

I hope everyone is feeling good or at least better each day.

Betsy 

Hey how are you all?

Soon as I almost start to actually recognize myself (in all respects other than looks, that is, since that's going to take forever) -- I caught a cold!  :-P I noticed it Friday afternoon, still have it (sore throat is gone and I'm sneezing/coughing instead). It's not horrible, and I've only had intermittent low grade fever (99.x) which breaks when I remember to take the Tylenol...but still! Sheeesh! Now where in hell could I have gotten it from? Given the incubation time, looks like I picked it up at the hospital when I was there for my PET scan last Tuesday. Well I guess I should be glad I managed not to catch a cold until AFTER being off chemo for a few weeks, huh? And sheeesh, all that lovely fresh orange juice I'd been drinking -- TONS of it! Listen girls, drinking lots of OJ doesn't do jack to keep you from catching colds or helping you get over them faster. OJ is good because it tastes good, it's refreshing to drink nice cold fruit juice on hot summer days, and in general drinking lots of fluids is a good thing...but orange juice good for colds? I don't think so. Kind of makes me think of how my grandmother used to tell me eating carrots  (which I did nonstop as a kid, and I still love 'em) was good for eyesight -- but I still ended up blind as a bat (it's been decades since I could see the "Big E" on an eye doctor's chart without my glasses/contacts/whatever corrective lens the doc is testing out on me).

Well OK, for once I ranted about something other than cancer or hair loss! LOL

Geri -- Sorry my long post tired you out so much. Since you're still on chemo, you're duly excused from having to read my posts -- just scroll on to someone who writes less! LOL! Glad you're feeling as OK as is possible for still doing chemo. You're definitely on a different regimen from what I had (6 rounds of TAC). I wish you as few side effects as possible.

Lesley -- that's great you finished your chemo 7/31 and your surgery was such a success -- I guess your tumor must've been pretty big if it was still 5 cm AFTER the chemo. I'm still waiting to find out how my originally 12 cm tumor fared.

Pam -- glad you enjoyed Maine and that you're climbing out of the chemo hole so fast. :-)

Stephanie -- it's wonderful to hear that you're also climbing out of the horror that is chemo. The combination of mouth sores going away and taste buds functioning properly again is excellent! And yeah, it always feels good to have energy coming back. Some of mine came back until I caught this darn cold. 

Betsy -- were you blonde before chemo? Maybe that's why you can't tell what color your new hair is yet -- and if you were originally blonde, this could be a good thing. I'm still Mycelium Head -- I have sticking-up colorless fuzz on my head. Since my natural hair color (pre-chemo) was chestnut brown, I have no idea what's going to happen with my "new hair" once it grows some more...i.e. will it turn brown or grey?!

Linda -- Glad your scans came up clear. :-)

Like I said, I got some more energy back (enough to go for a WHOLE walk), and a little more of my chemo brain went away, I actually got that hacked Sims fridge started and made a test version. OK, so it failed the test, BUT -- that could have happened anyway (not all my creations work on the first take), and I was able to focus long enough to see it through from beginning to making something POSSIBLE to test. And, I know what my next approach will be.

Well, gotta go. My simmies need me now! 

~Lena.

OK Geri,

Sorry I misunderstood you, thinking that reading my posts made you tired.

Anyway though, me and my Pack Rat were only able to have the wild and wonderful but "exhausting" (LOL) sex on the Friday night he got here -- Saturday he had to go visit his mom in the hospital (she just had her gall bladder out) and when he got back to my place, it was pretty late (after 10 PM) and HE was wiped out! Well, since last time he'd been here I was still on chemo and had an "I want to but I'm just too tired" night, it was a no brainer for me to understand and be understanding. Believe it or not though, since we like to do other things together besides sex, on Sunday we just didn't get around to it because we were too busy with doing the laundry and  -- biggie -- trying to upgrade to a bigger external hard drive on my computer (dammit, another problem!), and I'd gotten a movie I just had to show him too.

Well last night when he called --  and since I had to cancel my annual summer week up to his Nest in the North because of my chemo -- last night we were talking about my coming up for a fall week this year instead (some time in Oct). Since he brings chaos to order, there are still some logistics issues to resolve, but we're kind of working on it. Oh, and a good deal of "making up for lost time" was discussed too, in rather obscene detail I'm happy to say (though I'll keep the specifics to myself).  >;-)

Hope you're feeling OK Geri (and everyone else too). I'm still trying to shake this darn cold, but otherwise fine.

~Lena.

Lena, I love your posts - you are really getting on with your life and it sounds great!

Judy xoxox

Titan - another great post! I am not sure I could have got through all this crap either without all of you!

I am constantly sending good thoughts your way!

Hugs to all, Judy xoxox

Betsy - thanks for thinking of me. I am doing ok, but the heartburn has not completely gone yet. Some days I think it has, then the next day it comes back quite badly. I am not really sure if that is supposed to happen, but I am continuing to take the Prevacid and hoping that over time it will heal. I find it so depressing when it gets bad again, I feel like I am taking backward steps. When I speak to the Doctor, he says that there should be slow improvement.

How are your Rads going? Have a good weekend and thanks again for your support,

Judy x