I feel like my life is falling apart

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I finished my treatments in April.  Life was going ok...as well as can be expected.  I am a fairly normal person as far as emotionally.  I started Tamoxifen in May.  I was doing alright, some crying here and there.  Then a few weeks ago someone approached me claiming he was my father when I thought he was dead.  He refuses to do DNA for fear of retribution (money).  Then over the weekend I discovered my husband inquried into divorce.  We fought alot over the weekend which is not normal for us.  But since learning of it, I can't stop crying.  I feel like a frankenstein across my chest and I just can't handle the emotions. I really hate what this has done to me and I'm angry about it.   Going to counseling would severly affect my husbands job and we already have issues with that.  I don't know what to do.  But I hate feeling this way.  Does it get easier?

Comments

  • dlb823
    dlb823 Member Posts: 9,430
    edited August 2009

    proudafwife ~  So sorry that you seem to have more than just the bc stress in your life at the moment.  I'm assuming from your screen i.d. that your DH is in the AF, and it's a shame that there must be some sort of stigma associated with getting counseling for marriage issues, if that's what you mean.  But if they have either a psychologist or social worker where you're being treated, perhaps you could start there and even work your DH into some conversations with that person, as if the counseling is about you, but would also encompass his concerns.  The two places I've been treated both have those sorts of people of staff, and I've loved talking to them when I had questions.  They are always so understanding, and each time gave me some great tips for dealing with what I couldn't figure out on my own.  And at the 2 places I go, it's part of our treatment, so never an extra charge for sitting down with them to discuss the emotional effects of bc on us or our family members/caregivers. 

    (((Hugs))) to you, and yes I think it can get easier, but you and your DH may need some insight and guidance, as well as help communicating your needs/fears/expectations, etc., and a psychologist who works with bc patients is by far the best type of counselor to understand everything you're going through.     Deanna

       

  • holligoog
    holligoog Member Posts: 75
    edited September 2009
    going to counseling should not effect a job as that would be a breech of confidenciality.

    You need to talk to someone right away!

    Dx 12/08 with Triple-Neg BC. It's been a long and traumatic road that I have had to basically fight alone (my divorce became final in Feb. 2009- 2 weeks after my first surgery). My last chemo was in May. Double mastectomy in June. Should be back to "normal" but feel like "now what". Wait for it to come back? Recently I cry all of the time and that is NOT like me! was just told by my Onc the other day that I was suffering from PTSD. My Doc put me on an anti-depressant and it is helping. Writing down my feelings helps too.

    Don't be afraid to ask for help! 

  • Scrappygrl
    Scrappygrl Member Posts: 120
    edited September 2009

    I'm feeling better in a sense.  I was able to seek counseling and I start Tuesday.  Thanks for responding. 

  • lovinmomma
    lovinmomma Member Posts: 1,879
    edited September 2009

    Good for you! Glad that you are getting counseling. That is a great step.

  • Lindissima
    Lindissima Member Posts: 239
    edited September 2009

    I am glad you're feeling better and seeing a counselor.  Are there any support goups for women with BC in your area?

    Please come back and tell us how you are.  

  • CapeBretongirl
    CapeBretongirl Member Posts: 364
    edited September 2009

    Dear proudafwife;  I am happy to read that you are going for counseling on Tues.  Please keep in touch.  

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