Treatment ends, hair returns, 'support' dries up...

Look at it another way. Your manager-friend has been squeezing some money out of her budget to help you out. This was a great thing, particularly given the rotten economy. Her budgets are tight and she's spent all the extra she had, plus you've done the work so it's time for this to come to an end.

Be grateful she helped you out and that your mammo was clear! Your situation wasn't ever anything you could do forever, it's only part-time. Now that your cancer situation is stable maybe its the right time to look for a more permanent position.

Your friend will be a good recent reference.

I know you're feeling down and out, but I think it's worth taking a different view on it all. She did what she could to help you out in a bad time --

rubyredslippers, tell yourself that she came with you to your follow-up mammo. That's a BIG thing emotionally. If you read these boards, you'll see that it's one of the hardest things to do after treatment. A lot of people go alone since friends/family think "Treartment's over, you're fine". Your friend saw that you needed her emotionally for that appointment and went with you. Even though she can't help you with work any more, she sounds like the kind of friend who will still be "a shoulder to cry on" when others are saying "Get over it".

I just finished rads this week, and I don't know if I ever will "get over it".

(((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))

Leah

Hi,

I am british living in Singapore and as soon as I found out about my cancer, I joined the local breast cancer foundation.  A huge percentage of the support group, were people who had their cancer from between 5-10 years ago. In the beginning I wondered why they were still there, assuming that once the cancer was gone that you didn't need support. Now that I am 5 months out of treatment I realise that although we can all look forward and stay positive, we have the rest of our lives with tests and more test on the horizon.  It is a scary thing at every point knowing that there is a chance of reoccurance, so being consistently around people in the same situation is comforting and you know that everyone understands.

I'm not sure Rubyredslippers, but maybe you are just anxious about the future and already know that you will still need support and understanding along the way. Is there a breast cancer support group anywhere close to you? Is there a team of some kind you can join for bc suvivors?  the girls over here have a fantastic time at every event as we all know that we are lucky to be here. I joined the dragon boat team and what fun.  I would suggest keeping other postive breast cancer survivors in your life even if it is only through these boards, they have been so good for me. You could start a group of "lets keep the support going" group, I know you are not alone.

Hope this didn't sound like a lecture. Take care and let us know how you are doing.

Singapore Chris x

I wouldn`t have known the importance to stay as  caregiver to my sister if I didn`t have all of you ladies educating me this past 1 1/2 yr. I am so grateful that I have these threads to read and learn,  it breaks my heart that  any of you feel abandoned!!! I wish  every friend or caretaker knew about this site and to stay  involved and to learn that it is just as  important to be supportive after tx`s etc!!! My sister feels so guilty and that she is such a burden to us all that she would never tell me or our other sister that she still needs our shoulders to cry on, or needs to call at 2 am because she is scared, or she wants me to continue to take her to appoinments etc, etc,!!! Because of all of you, she doesn`t need to tell us we are  there as  the 1st day of Diagnosis and will remain this way. I sure would bet if your loved ones knew and had the education  they would be there!!! Ruby, tell your friend how you feel, she may just not know.I would have thought the same, "well she is done with chemo, she`s had her mastectomy, hairs growing back, she must be fine" and phew we can just go back to normal, lots don`t know that your normal is no more!!!We can`t possibly even to begin to know what its like to have B/C but we need the opportunity to try, so you need to explain it, help out your friend  she needs to know your fears so she can continue her support for you.xoxoxo Deb

I remember feeling just like you do. I went to a support group but everyone there was on their 2nd recurrence.  They were nice but I felt like I couldn't trouble them with my 'silly' gripes.  Now I realize they really understood me in ways family and friends couldn't.

This is the best support group that I have found.  People here are kind and caring.  We have all been disappointed with a friend who just didn't get it.   But sometimes the only way you 'get it' is to be one of us.  So we really don't want our friend to 'get it'.  Hold on and come here to vent. There's always someone here to understand and send a hug.  Hugs Maire

Dream, that is soooo true

I finally asked my daughter to ask me how I am and mean it---and listen to my ans.  I promised to be honest with her, something I'd not done in the past.  I kept the pollyanna attitude to my kids, and it was NO help at all for them or me.  Of course, it took me a couple of years after dx to get there.

When my dh was dx'd twice in 6 mos, the kids felt comfortable that I was telling them the truth, and I WAS.   After all, they are adults and cannot respond if they don't know what's going on.