my mom doesn't have me on her family history??

Lisa ~  First, I'm sorry that you're in such an upsetting situation.  I may not have the picture totally clear, but I'm wondering if your Mother just wants some privacy about her situation and the control over who is told when.  Not that she doesn't want you to have the information, but maybe just within a time frame that works for her emotional needs right now, as well as having control over how far the information goes before she's ready for people outside the immediate family to know. Other than my DH, I would not want family members, as much as I love and adore them, having access to my medical files unless I was not competent to make my own decisions.

We all react so differently to this sort of situation, but I would suggest giving your Mother the benefit of the doubt, as well as your continued love and support.  Do you not talk with her regularly?   And have you asked her about her diagnosis and the recommended treatment? 

Just as an aside, my husband's aunt, who is an energenic, youthful 70-ish, was dx'd with bc earlier this year.  She had a lumpectomy before she told anyone, including her 7 grown kids, and we only heard about it after she was finished with radiation.  And we'd had dinner with her the week she'd found out.  She just wanted to get the treatment over with, and didn't want people fussing over her.  I know this isn't the same as a Mother-Daughter relationship, but it's just an example of how we all react differently to these situations.    Deanna

P.S.  Lisa ~ Still thinking about your situation, and just wanted to comment that having someone on your "family history" and giving someone access to your medical records are 2 entirely different things.  You can be noted as a living daughter, for example, in someone's medical records, but that does not automatically give you access to someone's medical records, even when their diagnosis can impact your health.  I just wanted to add this thought because I'm still a bit confused about exactly what you were upset about. 

Lisa, with HIPPA, whether you are listed as a dd, you are not entittled to you mom's medical info. Just as a spouse is not entittled to their spouses medical info.

This is a very difficult time for your mom and she may want to spare you the details. When I first starting going thru all this I did not tell my sister, my MIL or anyone but my DH. I was scared. I did not want to scare my sister who is over 3000 miles away in Ca, she has alot on her plate. So maybe you should not be upset with your mom, it could have been an oversite as well. When I first started seeing the BS and all the onc I shut my DH out, I was so angry that I just wanted to handle everything myself. I did not want others to suffer my pain. I hope my experience will help you to understand your mom's a bit better. Do not feel left out, she may be trying to spare you the worries since a live in a different state. If you want ot have genetic testing done, you can. Go to your family dr. and tell him your family history and ask for a referral to consult w/ a genetic counselor. They will determine based on the info if you qualify for gene test.

Good luck , do not be angry with your mom, this is difficult for her. I understand not knowing is difficult for you, call your mom daily and be supportive.