Missing my Sister!!!

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PattysSister
PattysSister Member Posts: 2
edited June 2014 in Caring for Someone with Breast cancer

My susband and I took our three grandchildren to the Houston Space Center Wednesday.  While in the gift shop....there stood the image of my sister Pat!  She had thinning dark red hair, a little skin hanging from loosing weight, her face, her glasses, her comfy clothes.  A MAC truck could not have stopped me from going over to her.  I tapped her on her shoulder, she turned to look at me with tears in her eyes.  "You look just like my sister Patty who I lost three years ago", I said thru tears.  Then I threw my arms around her and hugged her for a minute.  As soon as I felt her arms going around me, I was sobbing buckets of tears.  She said, "there there, it's OK".  I kept saying You Look Just Like Patty, I Miss Her So Much.  I kissed her cheek and she said, "Well see there, It was meant for me to be here for you today".  I had breast cancer in 96 and fought it 1,2,3.  She died 18 months after diagnosis.  It makes me so angry...and because Patty died years ago, people don't understand my deep grief.  I'd give a year of my life to hold her in my arms again.  I just wanted to tell someone that and, perhaps hear from others.  Thank You and have a blessed day.  Noreen

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  • hollyann
    hollyann Member Posts: 2,992
    edited August 2009

    Dear Noreen, I know exactly how you feel....I lost a sister to bc 3 yrs ago next month and I still grieve for her....I also lost a sister in March to emphysema and I can't get throught his grief.........I cry all the time it seems and I don't know what to do......I am so sorry you lost your sister. too........I lost my mom in 1972 to bc and I still grieve for her too........Thank you for sharing your story...I now know I am not alone.......

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  • PattysSister
    PattysSister Member Posts: 2
    edited August 2009

    Dear Hollyann,  Perhaps women hold these things in their hearts.  I can't go to church without something, a hymn perhaps, moving me and leading me to tears.  My sister Pat was my moms caregiver.  Mom passed away, in her 90's, a few months before Pat did.  They live in NY and we're in Memphis.  It was quite a rollar coaster.

    This may sound crazy but the time I spend thinking about Pat, even through the tears, is a good time.  I never want to forget any part of her-and if I have to go through the bad, it's ok too.  You are not alone.  Noreen

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  • lauren804
    lauren804 Member Posts: 4
    edited October 2009

    Noreen and HollyAnn, I found your posts today at what seems to be one of the worst days since my sister passed away almost two years ago. She was so young, 43 and my heart aches so badly. I relive the entire last 6 weeks she was in the hospital like it was yesterday. I think to myself there is something else I should have done for her. I could have saved her if I did something different. I would do anything to see her, hear her or smell her. I walk around the house screaming her name in hope that she will get sick of me screaming and she will come to me. Why do I feel alone, other than your notes. My friends and family, except my mother, have let it go. Why can't I let it go. Why do I hurt so much.

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  • jansdaughter
    jansdaughter Member Posts: 265
    edited October 2009

    Oh ladies, I feel the same way.  My mom has been gone 2 years.  Lauren, my sister and I relive my mom's last days too.  We took care of her at home before she died and we play the what if game or did we do this good enough, question ourselves and then remind ourselves that we did EVERTHING we possibly could to make her comfortable and love her.  The hospice nurses all told us we did an outstanding job taking care of her.  But damn, losing her was tough, grieving is tough!!!  I just cannot quit missing her, wanting to hear her voice and talk to her.  It is so painful.  Hugs to you all.  Dianne

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  • cyndijoy
    cyndijoy Member Posts: 1
    edited October 2009

    I feel your pain, I truly do. I lost my aunt, who was my second mom and only 60, in 2005, and it hasn't gotten much easier. I miss her terribly. She was a sunday school teacher, and a beautiful, loving, caring person. I get upset and wonder why God takes the good ones and leaves all these sicko rapist, child molesters and murderers out there. I know I shouldn't think that, but I do anyway. She was so POSITIVE about it...so sure she could beat it, since, as she put it, it was a "tiny little lump." Apparently size has nothing to do with it, as we found out. She always had a smile on her face, and was more worried about reassuring everyone else. I miss her so much. I just lost 2 twin grandsons in April, and they're buried in the same cemetery as my aunt....a beautiful place by the river, with deer running through it. I know she's watching over my babies, too. At least I have a serene, beautiful place to visit them. Hugs to all of you...I know how hard it is.

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