so... I'm opting out...

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  • lisa-e
    lisa-e Member Posts: 819
    edited August 2009

    Mainecoon Kitty, as a member of the formerly well-endowed club, I recognize all of the advantages to being flat chested you point out.   And now that my breasts don't get in the way when I climb, I find I am climbing harder than before bc.   It is some consolation.

    .

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  • mawhinney
    mawhinney Member Posts: 1,377
    edited August 2009

    Try making a list of the Pors, Cons, & Concerns for all your options. I find it helps me get a clearer picture of the benefits and drawbacks if I  make an easy to compare list. You have a lot of time before making a decision.  Make cancer organization will match you with someone that has had each procedure you are considering.  I did this and found it helpful hearing what someone that has gone through the procedures I was considering had to say.

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  • kim40
    kim40 Member Posts: 904
    edited August 2009

    You said it MarineCoonKitty, funny takes away scary and we mind as well make the best of a situation that none of us asked for. 

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  • tabby
    tabby Member Posts: 135
    edited August 2009

    Michele S:  Good for you!  Thnigs are so much better when you make a decision!  You are beautiful either way.  I had bilaterals in May (this year) with te's placed.  Then I had an infection which we fought but alas had to take those awful things out on Father's Day.  Now we have to wait 6 months before trying again.  I love having the no bra on feeling!  It's so comfortable.  I feel like I deserve to be this way and sometimes I do put on the silly boobs when I wear something extra clingy or silky just for laughs (although I don't laugh long--they're horrible--they're just the ones they give you after surgery--I go for a real fitting next week).  I have to say I do look a bit more balanced with the foobies in but these good ones better be very comfortable.  We'll see.  Anyway, Michele love yourself no matter what, you've been through enough.  Live your life and be happy.

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  • Gin52
    Gin52 Member Posts: 377
    edited August 2009

    Hindsight isn't always right either!  I am 8 years out from what my dr called "the best of the worst news", lumpectomy, rads, no chemo, and 5 years of tamoxifen......and just diagnosed in the same breast so facing masectomy after all.  No guarantees, so never second guess your decisions! If its meant to be....it will be, which ever course you take.   

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  • nagem
    nagem Member Posts: 353
    edited August 2009
    There's an organization called Share that uses survivors to staff a hotline for women struggling with breast cancer. They can often connect you with a peer match, someone who has a very similar situation to your own and can give you her firsthand experience: (866)891-2392
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  • marmsie
    marmsie Member Posts: 59
    edited August 2009

    Ginnie! We have similar stories. My first dx was 9 years ago, though, and add in some chemo to go with that lumpectomy and rads. Only a couple of years of tamoxifen - it didn't treat me very well.

    Any who, so with this second cancer, in the same breast (though a new primary as the hormone receptors are definitely different), mastectomy was my only option. 10 weeks out now and adjusting. I did not give reconstruction much of a second glance once I knew it would require messing up other parts of my body.

    You are right - no guarantees. The decision I made 9 years ago was the right one at the time.

    Waiting for my prosthesis to arrive - oh boy?

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  • Gin52
    Gin52 Member Posts: 377
    edited August 2009

    Marmsie, I dont know even when my surgery is till I see the Dr again on Monday.  He said on the phone he would like to do it "in the next few weeks".  Based on what my path report says, I am ready as soon as possible.  Can I ask how long you were in the hospital and how much help you needed when you got home?  I am single and live alone, though I have friends and family that can be there, but would like to know how long I will need someone there.  Anyway, will write more after I find out more monday.  I am just concerned about not getting reconstruction because I am a 44DD, so I will be VERY lopsided.  I am going to talk to the dr about getting both sides done if insurance will pay for it.  Would hate to think about facing this again down the road on the other side.  ((((((((Hugs)))))))))) and good thoughts to all that have to be here!

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  • NativeMainer
    NativeMainer Member Posts: 10,462
    edited August 2009

    Gin52-

    federal law requires all insurance companies that cover mastectomy to also cover reconstruction and whatever surgery is required on the other breast to acheive symmetry.  That pretty much means that you can have a bilateral mastectomy and reconstruction and it will be covered.  Of course, all the other insurance rules apply--in network or out of network rates, deductibles and out of pocket limits, etc.  Trust me, you'll meet the deductible and out of pocket very quickly. 

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  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 19,757
    edited August 2009

    I consider myself young (51) and not only am I not doing recon, I don't even wear anything. I, too, find it VERY freeing. I was a 32D at age 13. It's been a lot of years with a LOT of weight. I had a reduction years ago and still I was a 42D when I had them both taken off.

    I was reading a post of someone talking about the blue dye stain still showing on her breast and I actually pulled my top away to check to see if I still had a stain before I remembered I don't have breasts anymore! I am lucky that they are so not that important for me, but I made the decision before I knew how I would handle it.

    I am still a woman!

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  • pip57
    pip57 Member Posts: 12,401
    edited August 2009

    I am with Barbe.   I feel great being breast free.  I remember wearing my 'fake boobs' to work one day.  They just ended up getting in the way.  So that was the last time I wore them, over a year ago.  

    Barbe, I will be seeing you shortly! 

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  • Gin52
    Gin52 Member Posts: 377
    edited August 2009

    Thank for the info, NativeMainer!  Glad I found that out before my appt tomorrow!

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  • marmsie
    marmsie Member Posts: 59
    edited August 2009

    Gin52:

    You can find some good discussion at the surgery forum about length of stay, help requirements and what not. It really depends on SO many things. I ended up being a classic "drive thru" mastectomy, but that was perfectly fine for me (and arrangements were in place for me to spend the night if need be). I also have a spouse who tended to me quite nicely.

    Oh, AND I'm small busted, so there just wasn't as much tissue to remove! I'm a 34 B on my good days - so a tight sports bra does a decent job of smashing the side I have left. That and a loose shirt, I just look "bosom impaired". The prosthesis I have ordered is rather lightweight, so I don't anticipate much trouble with that choice.

    To date I have not worried much about "cancer yet again" in my remaining breast. I know some people expected me to have a bilateral, but I just don't think that way. 

    Have you met with a plastic surgeon? You may want to if you are even remotely considering a reduction. Check in with an expert. Glad the others were able to give you the inside scoop on insurance and expectations there.

    Hope all goes "well" with your appointment tomorrow.

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  • Gin52
    Gin52 Member Posts: 377
    edited August 2009

    Well, I have decided on bi-lateral since insurance will cover it.  I really want to have the diep reconstruction so may have to go out of state for that, but I figure...if I have to go thru this "big c" stuff again, I might as well get something out of it for me!  And the "tummy tuck" you get with the diep would be really nice, and I am very leary of the implants based on a lot of the information I have seen.  Should know more next week.  I still have an appointment with a plastic surgeon and my bc surgeon here next week, but dont think they will be able to do what will make me happy.  Anyway, we will see what happens.  I am like most of you here in that I would rather not have any reconstruction than to have the implants.  just my outlook.  luck to us all!!

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  • apple
    apple Member Posts: 7,799
    edited August 2009

    Michele.. to tell you the truth, i'd kind of like to have the other boob removed so I'd match better.  i'm pretty flat so it would be totally unnecessary.. i just don't care about what my bust line looks like.  (one can always wear a something or other).  Fortunately my husband is happy if i'm happy.    I can't see any advantage myself, to having a fake boob or two that doesn't work. 

    you already know how i feel - so this is probably an unnecessary post.

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  • Sue-61
    Sue-61 Member Posts: 599
    edited August 2009

    I hated my 36DDD boobs anyway, but hated them more when I got dx with bilateral breast cancers. I was a smoker so the recon was not an option, but have since cut down a lot. I had 2 sister in laws who KNOW IT ALL and were horrified that I was having mastectomies. Now I have a sister who continues to ask me when I am having the recon. DUH! Surgery is surgery and I want no more.

    Mary at the Friends Boutique at Dana Farber set me up with a couple of size Cs. I have since gotten ride of all my safety pins......you know, to hold my blouses together. I will not have recon and do not for a second doubt my choice.......Good luck to you, Sue

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  • Nebraskagrandma
    Nebraskagrandma Member Posts: 263
    edited August 2009

    ((((Michele))))

         The great thing about "our" time with breast cancer compared to years ago is that we all have options. We all have choices that we can make that work for us. There is no one right decision, as you can see. You can not do recon now, wait years as stated above and if you change your mind...........OK you can try it, or NOT.......... Take one day at a time, it's the only way to go.

    ((((Mainecoonkitty))))

           Your post is priceless !! and you're right about having a sense of humor, it sure helps at times. I think you could publish that list and make some bucks :o)

    Blessings all,

    Paula

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  • OG56
    OG56 Member Posts: 897
    edited August 2009
    Paula, just had to say Hi to someone from my home state!Cool
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  • Nebraskagrandma
    Nebraskagrandma Member Posts: 263
    edited August 2009

    Linda,

    Hi to you also ! I see our Dx date is within days of each other. see you around the posts......

    That handsome young man in the picture with me is one of my 11 grandchildren. He (8) and his sister (7) live in San Antonio where their Dad is doing his Radiology Residency and is soon to be a Major in the Army............ WHAT ? me proud............nay

    Hope everyone is having a good week some of us are due :o)

    Blessings,

    Paula

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  • aquamarine
    aquamarine Member Posts: 18
    edited October 2009

    I think we here who have endured mastectomy and chemo/radiation can all understand where you are coming from here. It makes sense that if reconstruction isn't a life-saving, cancer-treating procedure to treat the disease--why put yourself through more discomfort and surgery? I totally get it. I'm 31 with a bilateral mastectomy and sometimes I just don't want to even THINK of another knife near me. 

    I applaud your strength and your strong sense of self, you and the other brave ladies who chose to go on boobless. You must enjoy a surety and confidence that you are just as womanly and as beautiful and complete as any other "whole" woman out there.  That's NOT to say that those of us (myself likely included) who are getting reconstructed are any less brave--like everyone here has said--THE DECISION IS PERSONAL. 

     I'm really not crazy about having plastic and silicone in my chest for the rest of my life. and that's the truth. 

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