Hair Falling Out

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birdablaze
birdablaze Member Posts: 1
edited June 2014 in Caring for Someone with Breast cancer

My mom just emailed me saying her hair is starting to fall out. She wants to have a shaving party and go buy a wig.

I thought I would be okay with all of this but I'm really not. I'm totally freaked out and trying not to cry here at work.

How did you guys handle this big moment?

Did you have shaving parties or did you just shave it off one random night?

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited August 2009

    BIRDBLAZE - I didn't have a party but 2 of my friends went with me to my hairdresser's house to have it done.  I was fine with shaving it and having conversation with friends made it so much easier.  If she wants a party I'd do it with her, any way she can deal with this is best.  Friends and family make the world of difference through.  Hope she is doing well through chemo.

    HUGS, Dawn

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  • Jayne_in_UK
    Jayne_in_UK Member Posts: 517
    edited August 2009

    As soon as my hair started falling out I wanted it gone. The hairdresser/wig specialist I bought my wigs from offered to buzz it off, so I made an appointment for the day after it started to come out. DH came with me and he was more upset than I was. I was relieved and happy to see it gone, I never thought I would be, but it was driving me crazy. I do have 2 wigs but I just go bald at home and feel fine with it. I know it affects different people in different ways. Everyone has to find their own best way to deal with it. Hugs to you and your Mom.

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  • pickle
    pickle Member Posts: 1,409
    edited August 2009

    Birdblaze: I had my hubby, daughter, brother and sister in law come with me to a shop to get my head shaved. I did it just before my hair started to fall out. It was really good for me and I think for most women it gives us a sense of control. Made me feel like I got to decide when my hair would come off. Friends and family support is extremely helpful. If she wants a party....then do it with her. Really try to focus on the control this gives your Mom at a time when so many other things are out of our control.

    Good Luck and keep your chin up.

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  • kim40
    kim40 Member Posts: 904
    edited August 2009

    BirdBlaze

    I did the same as the other ladies - shaved it off before it started to fall out.  It do give women a sense of control over something!  I actually made a day out of it.  My friends and I went for lunch first (there were 12 of us) and then we went to some wig shops and decided on something that suited me.  I'm glad I did it - BC takes control over your life for quite sometime and I wanted to do something that I could control. 

    Do the party with her.  You will be glad you did.

    Good Luck

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  • buccaneersdj
    buccaneersdj Member Posts: 241
    edited August 2009

    Birdablaze, Hi I am sorry you are struggling with this. The bald head does denote "cancer patient", the secrets out! My mom shaved hers off before it fell out, control issues! She wanted a wig but never wore it only hats and sometimes just naked bald! I am now in my battle with the beast my hair should fall out within the next week. I will have my family join in the shave and to tell you the truth even though it will suck not having my golden locks it is the least of my worries. I will tell you my husband does not know if he can shave it off for me, so it is normal for you to be so upset by this. Keep your chin up and be there for your mom. I hate to say this but I can never remember my mom and I laughing and crying so much as we did during her treatment.

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  • TBird1964
    TBird1964 Member Posts: 58
    edited August 2009

    Hi there

    My mom had her wigs and other head wear in place before the big shave. Like most, when her hair starting falling out she went by herself to get shaved. Already had that planned as well. She didn't want any of us to shave our heads. We wanted to but didn't to respect and support her the way she wanted. It didn't take her long before she couldn't stand the wig even though it looked like HER hair. She liked the feel of the scarfs. They were soft on her head. And when she was ready, she revealed her cute bald head to us. She said the day after having her head shaved she looked into her mirror and saw a celebrity. What??? She said she looked in and "uncle fester" was looking back at her. LOL!!

    I love her with all my heart and soul. My sister and I were there for her every step of the way and will always stand by her. She is a four year Survivor.

     Best wished to you and your mom through this journey. You are both in my prayers.

    T

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  • RaiderDee
    RaiderDee Member Posts: 150
    edited August 2009

    Birdablaze,

    I know it is often very traumatic for you or someone you love to lose their hair.  When my best friend started to lose her hair last year due to chemo she decided she wanted to have a party just like your mom.  We had a huge group of friends meet up for a "shaving party".   We set up a makeshift barbershop in a friend's garage and gave buzz cuts and shaved the heads of my best friend and 12 of our guy friends who wanted to go bald to support her.  All of the female friends put bright pink streaks in their hair to show our support. We took pictures, drank a little, ate bar-b-que and laughed and cried together.  Less than one year later it may be my turn as I'm awaiting my onc dx results to see if I'll be doing chemo.  If I do have to have chemo, I'm doing it the exact same way because it was an experience I'll never forget.  Best of luck to you and your mom.        

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  • Jadai
    Jadai Member Posts: 182
    edited August 2009

    I was so freaked out but when it was done my mom LOVED her bald head.  Seeing her reaction made it so much easier.  She was a little whacky, lol.  Once chemo was done though her hair came right back.

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