Family Cancer

ICanDoThis · July 2009

Family Cancer

ICanDoThis · July 2009

When I was just finishing up treatment in the end of summer (well, that's when the infections were over), my brother was diagnosed with prostate cencer. Low grade, Stage 1. We chatted, but he was so totally on top of his treatment, and knew his options inside and out. He didn't like the treatment much, but his odds are almost as good as mine, and I'm as lucky as it gets.

DH was diagnosed yesterday with Stage 2 (at least) esophageal cancer. PET scan being ordered. They are talking rads, neo-adjuvant chemo, followed by surgery. He just looked at me, and said "I SO did not want to do chemo." And I didn't have to - it broke my heart.

I'm finding it disconcerting - things are similar, but stuff jars - my reaction to the PET, for example. Evidently, it's standard for all gastro cancers. Scared the shit out of me.

We had just scheduled a trip to Hawaii for my recovery in September. I don't want to have to go to trip insurance (which I don't think will work for significant parts of our plan), and the doctors are going on vacation like mad . Do not know how I feel about this. HE WANTS TO GO.

Anyone got experiences, thoughts they can share?

dlb823 · July 2009

Sue ~ Wow! I've heard of this happening -- couples both getting cancer dx's within a very short time -- and I'm so sorry it's happened to you and your DH. I don't really have much advice about your planned trip, but I would encourage you and your DH to be extremely picky about where he has his RT. Not to alarm you, but rads to that area is not as "easy" as rads for bc, and I personally know two people who have had serious complications with it. So please be sure that he gets a second opinion, if necessary, and doesn't factor convenience or travel plans into where he goes, because this is definitely a situation where treatment expetise is what you want above and beyond anything. Deanna

iodine · July 2009

Hi, so sorry to hear about your dh. Mine was dx'd with prostate and larynx cancer all within 6 mos. He's doing very well.

I totally agree re: rads! I live in a rural area and chose mast. to avoid rads because I was aunwilling to trust the locals. So: second opinions are great things: you either get backup of the first opinon or another way to look at the treatment options.

RE: trip. We took our kids to Paris about 5 mos after diagnosis plus gall bladder surgery, and I wouldn't recommend it. I didn't even have chemo/rads. I was exhausted with all the surgeries (had breast redo) even that long after. It will, of course, depend on how he feels.

If you are considering delaying treatment till after Hawaii, it could be a different story.

Know how to make God laugh? Make a plan!

ICanDoThis · August 2009

Thanks, guys.

It's all just ao damned complicated! Evidently, EC is one of the bad cancers - and we don't know how far things have progressed. I'm not convinced that our community hospital is the right place for treatment - I mean, the gastroenterologist referred us to a thoracic surgeon whose publications are about heart surgery, and she's out of town for 2 weeks - it feels like, we can wait and wait for their convenience, but I can just see everybody wanting to schedule everything the day we were going to leave -

I talked to my radiation oncologist, and he says that if DH were his patient, he'd have him in NOW, surgery may not even be appropriate.

Monday, I'm going to call the insurance co (heck, I've only been with new company for 5 months, the paperwork says cancer is covered 100%, but we all know insurance companies lie), and call my oncologist who is associated with the same hospital as the gastroenterologist, and see if she thinks that we should even wait, or should we just try to go to a major university center ASAP.

I guess I'm afraid - is this going to be our last chance for some wonderful time together? You know, you get so used to each other, it's a good marriage, he's just the other side of my heart. Trying to stay in the now.

dlb823 · August 2009

Sue ~ I notice you haven't posted in awhile, and I'm wondering if maybe you were able to go to Hawaii earlier than originally planned, or if your DH's chemo and/or RT has kept you too busy and away from the boards. I hope you'll feel like updating us soon. Just wanted to say I'm thinking of you, and hoping your DH is doing well with his tx. I may PM you as well, in case you don't check back to this thread ~ Deanna

iodine · September 2009

Yes, we all care and want to know.

Jorf · September 2009

"just the other side of my heart" OH! I hope you will post soon and you are in my thoughts.

(BTW, we had tickets for Brazil when I was diagnosed.... Crappy timing.)

Member_of_the_Club · September 2009

So sorry to hear about your husband. My mother was just diagnosed with brain cancer a few weeks ago -- she will actually do her rads at the same facility at which I did mine. She's just at the beginning and already suffering terribly. I feel like compared to what she is going through, I didn't even have cancer. But i did and I do bring something to the situation, as you do for your husband. We don't see cancer with the same mystique as other people. And we know what questions to ask.

Good luck for you and your DH.

Family Cancer

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