Starting Chemo February 2009?

Kerry~ Glad to hear you are doing well. 

I am a stiff old lady today and I can't take anything but tylenol because I got to pack for the beach and my kids have to get their haircut today.  I did clean the hole yesterday (which is my kids bathroom), I did laundry x2, put away 2 baskets of clothes and cleaned the dishes up in the kitchen.  Which before this crap would have been nothing but now I am paying for it   On a good not though I am here which i am grateful for

I got to take pictures last weekend at a cousins wedding and it really has me wanting to do more.  So at least I am going to be getting back in the swing of things and I got some great pictures.  I am thinking about doing a 2 day training at the end of Aug. but I am just worried that I may not be up to it.  The doctor's said my recovery would be 2-3 weeks and this would be over 3 weeks out would you do it ???

mine is a low low dose - i had it for surgery too, but at about 3X the dosage.

i am getting used to it btw

Hi, Furies ~
I saw my oncologist today, and he had these beautiful words to say:

NO EVIDENCE OF DISEASE!!!

I couldn't believe it.  I still can't quite grasp it.  I'm sort of in shock that, wow, my goodness, you mean all that chemo and surgery and junk actually worked?!  LOL!  I am sooooooo happy!

Thank you all so much for being such a kick-a$$ and supportive bunch through this crappy journey.  I love you all!

Praising and thanking the Lord,
Artemis

Artemis, what great news!I'm sooo happy for you! It's wonderful that all that cr-- worked!

Artemis, what great news!I'm sooo happy for you! It's wonderful that all that cr-- worked!

Artemis:  Awesome, gotta love NED!!!

Helen:  thanks for the chuckle....last in class, lol...

I'm off to garage sales, beautiful day outside!  Can't believe it's almost August already....summer is flying by fast this year!  Enjoy your day, ladies!

Judy

Apple~ Love hearing your stories!  You make me feel ALIVE. I wish I lived near you... I'd be visiting everyday. One day, I'm going to catch a plane to KS and end up on your doorstep.

Artemis~

I'm waiting on tumor marker results today... I'd say nail-biting but my nails would fall off... I hate the anxiety of tests.  I took another xanax last night to be able to sleep.  I'm running low but am to embarrassed (sp?) to ask for more. <sigh>  I have several bottles of Ativan, but it does NOTHING for me.

So... pls pray for good results... My MD told me to call his cell phone at 3pm this afternoon. I'll know something then.

Michele

Michele - sending good vibes, but you don't need them! You'll do great. Let us know.

I'd just ask for more xanax too. Even if you are embarassed, they will give you more! 

i've had lots of adventures and thought that if i ever become crippled or something like old, i'd write a book.. i've been drafting chapters.. to work on later in life.

i just finished my trip to Greece outline.. it's outrageous.. if you want to kill a few moments - here you go. this will probably turn into a 20 page chapter or so if i ever do it.  i have many of these life vignettes, mostly they are not autobiographical as this is,  usually they are little stories of odd events or people i've encountered.. lit bits of absurdities.

 A trip to Greece

After graduation from college, i had decided to teach for a year at a school in Barrow, Alaska.. $80,000 in exchange for a year's imprisonment in the far, far north. I was just about to mail in my acceptance letter, when i got a job offer from an old professor.. to assist him in his research on original biblical manuscripts AND babysit his two sons in the afternoons.

Did I want to live in Thessaloniki, Greece or Barrow, Alaska?

hmmm..

My travel plans were set. I moved my belongings home to Kansas City, caught a flight to New York and it was on to Europe. I left the states on a Wednesday and expected to arrive in Thessaloniki on Tuesday, 6 days later. I would take a ferry from Dover to Calais across the English channel and then take a train or three to Thessaloniki.

I met some British schoolboys on the ferry and agreed that drinking some Black and Tan scotch was the thing to do. They had already been drinking for a day or two it seemed and one of them cornered me near a railing and proceeded to force himself upon me.   things were getting hairy with the British boy. I had a choice.. jump into the English channel or be dragged into a closet tof sorts. the weather was grey and foggy and no one was on deck so I jumped. Fortunately, my aggressor instantly got help. the boat stopped, a lifeboat was launched and i was rescued about 30 minutes later. I don't remember too much because i had been drinking, but know I spent the nite in Calais and missed my train.

No matter, someone hooked me up with the American embassy or the equivalent and i was able to travel the next day. I had lost or misplaced  my traveller's checks (they were in my trunk i found out later)  and had no cash. I decided to go on a starvation diet.. i was kind of fat at the time anyway.. residual fat from college.

I ate 1/2 a sandwich someone left behind and some man gave me some Italian money. I bought a loaf of bread in Milan and walked the streets for just the perfect amount of time. I had to run like the dickens to make my train.

While traveling through Yugoslavia I awoke in the middle of the nite to some military or police men coming onto to the train to get an old man off. They beat him with a baton and I jumped up to stop them. They took me off the train and questioned me. They didn't speak English tho and the nite I spent in the police station was a total waste of time. They let me reboard. I noticed that all the guys boarded the train wearing 2 to 5 pairs of jeans. Apparently they sold wherever they were going. I was still cashless and quite hungry. I had been on the train or in custody for 3 days now. In Skopje i purchased a cheese thing with some money that a woman gave me.... flour and cheese baked into huge bars. the cheese was very artisan .. a farmer's pungent cheese and the purchase weighed a pound i bet. It took me about 2 hours to eat in spite of my intense hunger.

i was almost at Thessaloniki and worn out and ready to call my contact.


I arrived in Thessaloniki at 2.45 AM... 2 days and 2 hours late. I had just enough cash to call the guy I was working for and take a cab. I found out that all phone service was out. Apparently there had been an earthquake the day before. There was a huge earthquake on June 20, 1978.. this was about a year later and it was not so huge but pretty devastating. I decided to see if a cab could get me to my address. The cab had to take a detour because an arterial road was closed. The driver knew just a tiny bit of English and he told me he had to inspect the car. We drove into a field and he opened the back door and grabbed me and started kissing. I went off! I had absolutely had it with problems. I kicked and yelled, grabbed his keys and ran about 30 yards away.. he was 50 and fat. I grabbed some stones for ammunition and every time he came close I hurled one at him. I drug my huge trunk out of his trunk which I unlocked with his keys and told him to scram (he knew that word). He apologized.. (he really was so sorry) but I yelled at him for quite some time....i gave him about 2 dollars after much negotiation (why, i don't know except to get him to leave).

So here I am about 4 AM in a field above the a city that had just suffered an earthquake with my trunk, very little cash (about enough for the cab fair) and i was starving. I hung out with my trunk till dawn and headed down toward civilization... about a mile or so. I found kumquat trees lining the city streets and ate about 100 of the tiny, perfectly ripe fruits. they were great. I found some older women to ask directions but apparently my Greek was totally insufficient to communicate ANYTHING, inspite of the fact that i had studied tapes for months and months and thought I had a 5000 word vocabulary. I stopped into a church to check it out.. sat in a pew and fell asleep for a few hours. I awoke around 11.00 and set out again in search of my address or a bank. My trunk was still in the field.

since I couldn't find my address on foot (I knew I was close) and since i was pointed in wrong directions by people who didn't recognize the address and i was tired of walking, i decided to find the American Embassy if there was one. I headed on foot down town.. i figured i had about 3 or 4 miles to go. I passed by one street that was severely damaged by the quake.... everything was a mess. I passed by one little grocer with everything spilled all around and boards and upended tables strewn about. I peeked in and a little little old lady was sitting in the back drinking tea or something. I asked her if i could buy a green pepper but she didn't understand me and my coins were not right. She gave me a piece of some cheese thing so I started cleaning up for her. I worked for a few hours, distracted from my journey. Toward evening her grandson came in (he was around 30)... We worked they said they'd help me find the address in the morning.


II found my address.  Bob, his wife Susan and their two son's, Thomas and Richie were happy to see me finally. It took me a couple days of walking to find my trunk.

One of the repercussions of my essentially foodless journey (except for cheese and bread) was significant constipation. I went to the pharmacey the next day and tried to tell them i needed a laxative. they didn't understand. I went back the next day and drew a picture of a butt with a plunger next to it.. The pharmacist and his wife laughed so hard.......

Bob, the researcher was working on manuscripts from monasteries on Mount Athos. I was a woman and couldn't visit the monasteries or even get close.. so he had to bring the books to me. I worked in a library - so dank and hot with insufficient light. i pored over the manuscripts looking for similarities and anomolies in word choicesl  Ihad studied Latin and Greek in college and high school (and my father taught the two subjects),  however,  i was totally unsuited to the meticulous work and really disliked the older of the two boys i cared for.  He was a precocious brat who was always acting out.. mean to his brother and always reporting all the bad things i did (like smoking cigarettes).

I really enjoyed travelling solo around the region but never made any friends really.  I got extremely weary of the men and who would follow me everywhere and constantly ask me out. apparently an American woman was a real cool thing to date or marry. i cooked most nites for this little family and had my own room and balcony with a lovely view.  I mostly walked, took bus or train rides and read when i was not working.   I was mostly lonely the whole time i was there.. about 9 months.  I missed my former life and was looking forward to my return to the states.

I made the mistake of going with this one guy to his house to meet his mother.. she gave me some grapes and then left the house.. the guy got so excited he started kind of jerking and then ejaculated in mid air. ..  that was the most absurd thing. 

Returning to the states was not noneventful.

I found a bus that was going to Paris from Thessaloniki on a tour. They let me ride along for a ridiculously low price.. something like 100 dollars for the 3 day ride. Everyone on the bus was Greek and going to London for a holiday. My language skills had improved considerably and i had a great time visiting with some fairly learned people.. and acted as interpreter for the bus driver. I always sat in the very first seat.. it was if i was driving. the scenery was fantastic...


We arrived in Paris close to sunset. the bus driver stopped on bluff of sorts ro rest and let the passengers take pictures of the sun setting over Paris. I was sketching a drawing of the sun between the legs of the Eiffel tower. I had gone off from the group a bit to find the perfect perspective. I was slightly bent over a wall. Suddenly i found the bus driver hugging me from behind.. rubbing against me and pleading for a kiss. I told him his behavior was totally non professional and kneed him in the groin accidentally to get rid of his erection.

sigh..

i arrived in London and had enough money to buy a plane ticket but not quite enough to ship all my clothes back. I asked for a couple trash bags and put everything i needed into those bags.. discarded my old clothes and the heavy trunk.. Actually i gave them to a homeless woman.. she was DELIGHTED, so that was excellent. I got back in line and returned to Chicago.

not the end.

 Michele - doesn't it take a while to get an average Tumor marker that is particular to you, and it is variation from that that is worrisome?? You may just need a few readings to find out where you sit. Try really hard not to worry too much

 Apple - that is a great story! What an adventure. I too, have taken the three day non-stop bus from Athens to London. The bus was full of increasingly intoxicated and delirious English travelers, so the bus drivers started cracking whips over our heads somewhere in Austria....! I also lived in Paris for a few years - I have never had more men expose themselves to me in my life! Their favourite place was on the Metro, if you happened to sit at the end if the car. You could see them, but no-one else on the train could!

Anyhow, my tummy is still sore and bloated (I feel like I have just had a baby!!) but am otherwise doing well. Planning a quiet weekend - it is a long weekend here, it is some Civic Holiday on Monday, Simcoe Day I believe!  Hope everyone has a good one.

Artemis, that is great! NED!!

Michelle, please ask for more of the med that works for you. I hate to think of you stressing out. (((hugs)))

Apple, what an adventure you had in Europe! I love the story!

I need some advice. Tomorrow and Sunday I work 12 hr days at the hospital. I am apprehensive because I was so tired this week after working Monday and Tuesday I spent my last 3 days basically sleeping. I started back doing 3 12hr days a week about a couple of weeks ago. So far I've been whipped after work. How long should I stick it out to see if I acclimatize to the schedule or admit I am not strong enough to work full time as of now?

Cheryl - just remember, your body has been through a war. A couple of months is still early days in recovery time. If it is easy for you to reduce your hours, and you want to, I would certainly try. Nursing is exhausting, you are on your feet all day, catering to the needs of others. You need to look after yourself, and put your own needs first for a while.....

Artemis - I am still so happy for you too! I tend to prepare myself for the worst case scenario too, wonder if it is a female thing?? My husband says "don't worry until you have something to worry about". I love your countdown of your tamox bottles in your sig. - will we really have to take 60 bottles of the stuff!

Michele - hope your are NOT stressing too much. 

Jancie - thanks for that! I think it has stopped growing.....I just want bangs now. Hope you get some sleep.....

Sincerely happy to hear of Grace & Artemis's wonderful blessed news!

Artemis, did you have scans? Neither my oncologist or my breast surgeon have deemed me NED - they've just assured me verbally - but I haven't been scanned since dx. I'm hoping to be scanned in sept/oct during my followups.

Michele - keeping all parts crossed for you, darling. And just fyi, I take 1 mg ativan to help me sleep, it's pretty harmless. You can double up on it pretty safely. Try one + a half first. And try taking it an hour before you normally take it. Ativan doesn't work as quickly as xanax. but i'm happy to hear you're going to ask for another script. i'm like you, i get embarrassed also.

Special hugs for (((Judy & Julia))). Crap doctors sans empathy sucketh much. as if you don't have enough to contend with.

(((Bethie))) sad to hear you're suffering another setback, but mega-YAY for no more pneumonia!

Cheryl, I agree with kerry. If you can do shorter shifts, i think that's the way to go. I know this is horribly cliché, but listen to what your body's telling you.

Kerry, glad to hear your surgery went well & that you're resting. What 4 movies did you watch? (I'm a major movie buff.)

Linda, i belong to another message board (since 2000!), and i can vouch for the wonder & beauty of meeting online friends live in person. i've made some deep & lasting friendships via the internet. it's so much fun being able to put a face & voice to people you've shared so much with!

i'm a HUGE nurse jackie fan! and i covet edie falco's 'do.

so nearly 12 wks pFc, and now my toenails are lifting from their beds. just on my left foot, but it's my big toe, so it's rather obvious. it's half yellow. ugh. i trimmed all my toenails way down and i'm slathering them with cuticle oil and green tea growth treatment, but i don't know what else to do. i feel so fat & ugly, and now i can't even have pretty polished toes.

i know, i know, silly thing to let get to me, especially in the grand scheme of things.

(((everyone)))