so... I'm opting out...

Hi Michele,

As far as I'm concerned everyone has to make the decision that's right for them.  Your decision is just that...  'your decision'.  As long as you're happy with it, that's all that should matter.

Take good care and I wish you the best.

 Beth

Michelle,

I decided against reconstruction, as all of the methods of have major drawbacks as far as I am concerne.  With regards to folks who question your decision, remember it is your body and you have to make decisions for yourself and no one else.  When I was trying to decide about reconstruction, my doctors all said I could have delayed reconstruction if I didn't want immediate reconstruction.  The knowledge that my dscision was not final was a bit comforting.

I have been boobless for almost a year.  I am comfortable not wearing forms so I only wear them when I get dressed up.   It is nice to be able to throw on a tee-shirt and head out the door.   After your surgery in November, you will be able to play with your appearance and decide how you want to look.  Now, post surgery, I think it is sort of amusing.  

Good luck with your surgery! 

Michelle-

I am 54. I had my first mx at 49. I didn't have recon but I got a beautiful tattoo over my scar. Of course I wasn't happy to lose my breast but I seemed to adjust pretty well. When I was diagnosed last year, I could have chosen a lumpectomy but since I already had one missing and I didn't want radiation, I chose another mx. I figured that it would be easier the second time but it hasn't been. I am having so much more difficulty having no breasts than one breast. It's crazy because I didn't wear a prosthetic and I was lopsided. I am sure that I look better being even but mentally I don't feel better. I miss my breasts, I feel like I took extreme measures and I am an overall emotional nut case now.

Recon still doesn't appeal to me but sometimes I wonder if it would have helped me emotionally. I was just so much saner before this last mx. What made you decide to have a prophy on your other breast (if you don't mind me asking)? 

Hi, Michele,

I had a bilateral mast. in March 2008 and have been boobless since. I had very large, uncomfortable breasts that limited my physical abilities and hurt and made me miserable. On top of that, the buggers tried to kill me! Good riddance!

After many years of having two albatrosses hanging below my neck, I can once again run, dance, row a boat, do jumping jacks, sleep on my stomach, and wear normal-size clothing. I don't miss them (I'm a youthful 49). I'm not comfortable with any of the current reconstruction options...had radiation, so probably couldn't do implants any time soon; can't see tearing up my body (for a flap recon) just to have boobs. And I'm bloody tired of surgeries for now. Time to have fun! I find the protheses very comfortable...I wear them every day, including during vigorous exercise, and I generally forget I have them on.

Do whatever you're comfortable with. You can always change your mind...or not. One of the bc volunteers at my hospital did reconstruction 16 years after her mastectomy

Michelle,

As a woman opting FOR reconstruction I offer my support and reassurance to you in YOUR decision for YOU.  Recon/no recon is a highly personal decision.  It sounds like you did the research, so you are making a decision based on good information.  I applaud your effort to do the research, think long and hard, and come to a definitive desicion. 

Have you seen a certified mastectomy fitter?  I saw one after the mastectomy.  She spent almost 2 hours with me trying on different styles and sizes of pokected bras and difference prostheses until we found one that looked and felt good.  We even looked at the "stick on" prostheses, but I tend to react badly to tape and adhesive so I opted to avoid that option.  A good fit makes all the difference in the comfort of the bras and prosthesis.  Also, there is a site that gives directions for knitted foobs--"knit-a-tit"--my mother has made several for me--one for my bathing suit, and several in different colors that I wear when the silicone one is too hot or heavy.  They are actually kind of fun, and if you have a bilat you can even be different sizes depending on your mood! 

http://www.boingboing.net/2005/10/17/knityourown_fake_bre.html

Michele, the decision is yours and you owe nobody an explanation as to why or how you came to that decision.  I was a 40 D, had a bi-lateral June 08. I chose no reconstruction nor do I wear a prosthesis.  This is my decision, I feel very comfortable, and somewhat liberated to be boobless.  It has felt great with all this humidity to go out only in shorts and tank top and not worry about binding bra straps, or irritation from a sweat soaked bra band.   I don't need nor want any more surgeries, especially those that aren't necessary.  It's Time to just move on and have some fun. I am a very active 59 year old and being boobless has not stopped me from doing what I want to do, whether it be playing sports, swimming, going to concerts, traveling or doing my job and yes, even dating.  IMO and this is My opinion, breasts don't make me a woman, they are only window dressing.  It is me that makes me a woman, who I am, what I say, what I do and what I give back to my community shows the world that I am a woman.   I am not about to have unnecessary surgery and risk complications just so that the guy standing next to me in the Super Market or co-workers, or friends and family members can see bumps sticking out from my sweater.  They don't like what they see, too bad, deal with it!  All the best to you!

Hi Michele,

Another woman in her 50s with no recon.  I have no regrets other than wish I did not have the blasted cancer in the first place.  I agree, Barbara's website has been so much help.

Much love,

Melissa

I'm a 44 yo s/p bilat mastectomy 3/27/09 with no recon; drains in (in/out/in) for ~8 weeks. Not eager for additional surgery. Had thought if I was BRCA1/2 (+) I would combine hysterectomy/BSO with DIEP if possible but was BRCA (-) so... will wait and see how I feel in 2010. I complete chemo in Sept and start Rads in Oct. 

I, too, had large (40H) pendulous breasts (40G prior to kids) which were not much fun and didn't make me feel very sexy. The kids never latched well-had to express. Anyway, you get the pix. And I agree with Celtic_Spirit-and then "the buggers tried to kill me." It is very nice to be free and light (lost 10 lbs with the mastectomies). I wear the camisoles with the soft foobs. Will eventually get the prostheses and bra but just don't feel motivated in the hot Florida summer. Am perfectly OK with my physique-especially now that I'm so well healed. Would go foobless if only I could get rid of my belly!

So many decisions to be made and each one PERSONAL. I understand that I may feel differently later. I'm OK with that. My goal is to have a LONG later! Here's to all of our Long Laters & forevers!

Michele,

I too am young....36 years old and just beginning this journey. I have NOT had reconstruction. I did do a double mastectomy. Lump was in left breast, I am BRCA negative. I just chose a double because I felt they failed me so they had to got. Guess you could say the right one was just guily by association....LOL....... I am in the middle of Chemo and after that I do radiation. I did see a plastic surgeon and he said we would have to wait for the skin to heal after radiation for us to reconstruct. He did tell me something about the muscle in the back.... Like RAYE99 that sorta freaked me out..... I will be making this decision later down the road... RAYE I see you are 3 years out....THAT IS GREAT... You and I seem to have close to the same DX.

Michelle,

I wish you luck and I will be seeking the same advice later down this road.... But reconstruction does scare me....

God Bless U All!!!!

Hi There - I had a unilateral mastectomy on Monday (right breast) and no reconstruction. I don't think I will elect to do so in the future either. (However, I do want a tattoo when I heal up) I'm 51 and was a 40 D. I'm very comfortable with my decision. Right now what I need is some sort of something to wear when the compression bandage (translation: ugly pink and purple elastic tube top thingy) comes off. I'm looking at post surgical camies and light weight forms but I'm confused. I phoned the local place that does fittings and so forth (Lady Grace) and the woman was not at all helpful. Everything needs to be ordered in advance and she didn't seem at all interested in helping me until  was healed. I guess I'll wing it in the meantime. I expect as I live with one breast, I'll be the kind of person who uses a form only for dress up work-related occassions. I'll have to experiment and see what works and what doesn't.

Anyway, Michele, as everyone says, this is your decision and your body. Personally I found reconstruction options to be very invasive and painful. I also have spoken with several women who have implants who feel they acted to quickly and would have prefered not to reconstruct. And, I know women who love their reconstructed breasts and are delighted.

Everyone is different -go with what you feel!

Lottie,

I've also been to Lady Grace, both to the Waltham and Brookline stores. I found the fitter at Brookline more helpful, but I was already a year out from surgery and was able to tell her what I wanted. The local place I like the best is Friends Boutique--it's right at the Dana Farber Cancer Institute in Boston (on the 9th floor, I think). You don't have to be a patient there to use it. I was treated elsewhere. The fitter, Mary, is very kind and patient. I felt really comfortable with her. They have a good selection of forms and bras and will order things for you, too.

You're still at too early a stage to be fitted with silicone forms (you should wait until you're at least four weeks, but preferably six to eight weeks, out from surgery), but I bought a nice post-surgery camisole at Friends Boutique and wore it with fiberfilled "puffy" forms after my bilateral mastectomy. 

Raye,

"I am happy with my decision, most of the time. To be honest, there are fleeting moments when I wish I could have reconstruction, but I can't w/o sacrificing who knows what. It is just not worth it to me. I think if I had reconstruction, I would look back and wish that I hadn't, if that makes any sense."  Your words express so well how I feel. I couldn't have said it better. Living without reconstruction isn't perfect, but for me it's better than the alternatives.

Thanks for your kind words about me and BreastFree. I've learned so much from you. And your photos on the "Wardrobe pics for boobless days" thread are fabulous! Sometimes, I think people assume that if we decide against reconstruction we must not care about looking pretty. For better or worse, I care a lot about how I look. I actually like that with breast forms I can be exactly the size and shape I want. I was looking at some pre-bc photos yesterday and honestly think I look better in clothes now than I did before. Plus, with the help of physical therapy, I'm standing up straighter. I'm slowly moving toward going form-free on occasion, but I'll only do it if I can feel good about my appearance.

MicheleS,

This is such a hard decision. For me, even now, almost three years after surgery, it's comforting to know that I could change my mind and have delayed reconstruction. None of the procedures currently available appeal to me. I don't want to mess with my pectoral muscles or endure the long surgery and scarring to other parts of my body with a flap procedure. But if some new innovative procedure came along, who knows? I might consider it. Since you're young, chances are reconstruction options will be getting better and better. So by opting to do nothing now, you may have the opportunity to get a better result later.

Meanwhile, I hope you'll enjoy living without reconstruction. One odd thing--not only have I accepted the way my body looks now, I've actually gotten to like it! No saggy boobs, very compact. Weird, maybe, but it's my new normal. Luckily, like Raye, my DH is fine with it and was always against my having reconstruction. 

Barbara

Raye....thanks for your response. I am trying to hang in there tough but trying.....

I think reconstruction will have to be something decided down the road. I believe it is to much to think about during treatment. I think it is awesome that women CHOOSE and do not feel pressure to HAVE to do reconstruction..... Thanks to all of you....and Raye I signed out wrong on earlier post, I was responding to a MICHELLE.....lol my name is DIane.....You do inspire me with you 3 years out......

GOD BLESS ALL OF YOU

Mainecoonkittie, what a terrific post!  You have a great sense of humor and a terrific attitude.  And to think, I've had boob envy all these years!  The largest cup size I've ever worn is Almost B.  Maybe being small-breasted has something to do with my choosing immediate recon along with Bilat.  I'll be happy if it all works out well.  Two weeks out, I'm having some healing issues.  My thinking is that I can have the implants removed if the recon. isn't satisfactory.  It would be easy to go flat-chested.  I've been almost flat-chested for a lot of years.

Good health to all of us, reconstructed and non-reconstructed.

MaineCoonKitty

Love your post!  You have a wonderful sense of humor - it made me laugh and I too felt reaffirmed with my decision.