Starting chemo January 2009?

Congrats Jilly and good luck.

Did any of you watch the dance dedication to a woman who fought breast cancer on the "so you think you can dance " episode on Fox TV?  I didn't see it till my daughter discovered it on Youtube and showed it to me tonight.  We watched it together and cried and hugged.   The dance was absolutely beautiful and the choreographer dedicated it to his love and best friend.  When the camera flashed on him, there tears streaming down his face.  I guess sometimes I forget how much it affects those we love around us.  

Hi Phyllis.  I remember being so glad with the drains came out.  Yahoo!!!!!  Mine dripped every now and then as well. 

Hey, I noticed our thread went to the second page.  I guess that means we are all out and about living our lives.  Yes!!!!  

Next week I plan on going camping with my daughter.  I look forward to that.  Hope it warms up here in good ol Michigan.  It has been a relatively cool summer here.  

Jilly--Hope your walk is going well!! I'm with you in spirit.

Phyllis-Hope the nurse finds the leak source, and that you can get those darn drains out asap. They are such a nuisance. Did you find out when you can start rads?

LadyJane-Glad your finding rads easy!  It'll be over soon.

Jess--Have a great camping trip. I watched the dance on YouTube too. Beautiful, and I cried along with the panel. I guess I'm not one of those out living my life! I'm totally addicted to looking at these boards, but don't always post. I've got to limit my time but I'm doing work projects on the computer and it's so easy.

Well, I've been REALLY tired for the last 3 days. Just dragging out of bed. I think that it's a combo of the rads (they told me I might feel like I hit a wall about a week or two after finishing) and the arimidex. Maybe the ibandronate (boniva megadose). I'm taking an advil in the am, and seems to help with the achiness. But I feel so mentally sluggish, like I just don't have the same spirit (even less than during chemo). Coffee helps!!! (that green tea just doesn't perk me up the same).

I'm flying to LA next Thurs to watch my mom, 89 yr old aunt visiting from Neb. and my sister's kids. My youngest will be flying down Monday and then we'll fly home together next Sun. We then rest a day and start a road trip to Seattle to see the pizza restaurant my husband invested in a couple years ago, visit friends in Ashland on the way, and then scope out the areas where the Twilight books took place. Last was in Seattle 9 yrs ago, so should be fun.

I got the referral to have my port out finally but don't know if I can squeeze it in. Really want it out before school starts. For those who've had it out, how is the recovery?

Hi ladies! Well its been 6 days since my surgery.I'm feeling good. I had an appt.with my rad dor. on Fri. My pathothology report was good. 3 nodes had very tiny cancer cells which the radiation will take care of and there was a couple of cells found on the skin surface ( which is what inflammatory bc is) so I will have an extra week of radiation just on that area.I am scheduled for 5 weeks, 2 times a day starting  in about 3 weeks. I have an appt Tues with the onc. dr. and my rad dr. and my surgeon to determine when i will start. I'm hoping to get the drain out then. I had to go to the hospital yesterday because my drains were clogged but my doctor took care of that.

I hope everyone has a great weekend.

Hi ladies.

Kim and Jess, I still have chemo brain too but I improve so much every week.  I did not have rads and two months post-chemo I feel pretty darn good.  You'll both feel better and better with time. 

Jess - Sorry you have to wait for your exchange.  I need to wait until late September for my exchange/revision and I am so eager to have it.  I'll have my port out then too.  I feel that's the finish line for me. 

Phyllis - I'm really glad to hear you sounding well.  The ports are temporary but they are an irritation while you have them.  

Jilly - you are an inspiration.  Hope you're having a great time.

I was in Omaha yesterday just sitting in the shade in a downtown park where there are lots of people and some geese and swans.  It was a lovely morning.  I decided to make my weekend phone calls from there and learned from my mother that my aunt died from her colon cancer on Friday.  She had been in hospice care just a short time.  It came sooner than I expected.  My mother was with her when she went.  There won't be a funeral but I want to go see my mother.  It's a big loss, especialy for her.  

It's been quite a year.

I am starting to love the short short hair.  I have dropped a few pounds and my metabolism is starting to kick in again so I look a little less round.  It took several weeks of steady exercise to get that going but I am so glad to be feeling more like my old self.  I must not have looked sick yesterday.  Nobody stared.

Well, hope you are all feeling better all the time.     

rsben70 - congratulations on finishing chemo!!!! 

I only have a few moments.  I am feeling pretty good these days.  Chemo brain bugs me, I hate not remembering words.  My inlaws took my son for the weekend. I drove him down to there place in RI but forgot to leave the car seat,. so DH had to drive half way and meet my Father in law to install it.  But I alway seem to forget something on these drop offs.  Drives DH crazy and makes me feel like such a loser.  DH complained about it but did soften it with a comment that I am good at remembering the "extras" that make thinks better if everything necessary has been taken care of.  It is just too much pressure on him to make sure everything necessary is taken care of. 

Anyway, we had a nice childless weekend.  We had planned to go away but could not find last minutes budget lodging and the weather looked iffy so we stayed at home.  We went out to dinner, we went to a folk music festival, we saw an out door production of The Complete Works of William Shakespeare, abridged, we picniced on cheese and bread, we tried to visit the gellato shop where we went on our first date but it had closed (as I keep saying, there is only forward not back), we had drinks and a meal at a beach side resturant, we walked the beach collecting colored rocks.  But most importantly we talked. DH calmly told me about how very very hard these last few months have been on him.  How stressful his life has been.  Worrying about whether he will still have a job, dealing with the house issues, everything and on top of it having to give me a "buy" one anything and everything I may have done or not done that bothered him.  He told me there were points where he did not think we would make it and that he came to understand how some men leave their wives during canser.  I just listened and was grateful that he was able to tell me these things and get them out.  I acknowledged how hard it has been on him.  I talked a little about things from my side, but for me the last few months have been more of a rebirth and a period of rest then of stress.  The canser allowed me time out side of my normal life to reflect, to find my creativity, to be aware of the love around me.  I am feeling more alive than I have in a long time and I hope that will allow me to be more there for my  husband and my family and everyong else. But first I have to love and care for me.  You can't truely love others if your are not loving yourself.  Oh, one more thing, we had incourse for the first time since January. We have had a love life of shorts but due to birth control issues were not doing the deed.  We finally bought some condoms, which DH hates and which can result in a complete disaster at times for us, and connected as a married couple should.  I have to admit it was not great for me, but that will come.  We have to work on it.  Its like the first time have having a baby.  I am seeing my GYN in a couple of weeks to take about birth control, maybe get a IUD.  DH is talking to his doctor about getting clipped.  We have to decide what makes the most sense.  But it is hard because it is also acknowelding that our childbaring years or really and truely over.  We already knew that doctors concidered us infertle and that we would likely not have another kid without help, and that the stress of help seemed to be more than we could bare, but there is always hope.  DH also admitted to me this weekend that he really would have liked to have another.  I thought the stress of another child had completely over shadowed the desire for him,. which shows once more that we need to work on our communication as a couple. 

 OK, I need to get dressed and go to work.  

rsben - Big Congrats on being done with Chemo!  Huge milestone.  

Everyone else, know I read your posts but have no time for general shouts outs, just silent ones. 

Renrel--Your post really touched me, and I'm writing this through my tears. I'm so glad that you and your husband have had a chance to talk and connect. As for love life, I thought I'd be feeling much better after chemo/rads, but now with this Arimidex and my hip aches--yikes. Like Phylils says, I 'm gonig to work on it too because my husband so deserves it.

And you've been able to self-reflect and find new strengths and interests through your treatment--that's inspiring (and yes, you should write that book!).

Phyliss-Great news about the path report and how well you responded to chemo!!! Again, lots of hope there! As much as you don't want to exercise, try to, especially before you start the rads, which also affect the arm (I think although the rad oncs might not admit to that...)

Nancy (YOH)--so sorry about your aunt. I hope you get a chance to see your mom soon. Does she live near you? Like your picture!

Rsben--CONGRATULATIONS!!!! on finishing chemo.

Lisa--glad you had a great vacation. Don't we all deserve some fun!!!? Glad you felt up to all those great mountain activities. I'm a bit afraid to ride a bike down hill for the pressure on my "bad" arm. Do you wear your sleeve while riding?

Jess--Chemo brain is scary. I don't remember if you had mentioned the delay--but darn I bet you had wanted to get it going before school starts. My skin feels pretty tight after the rads-.

My 14 yr old had a dr. appt last Friday, and I asked her if I could ask her dr. for a counseling referral. She had been asking about it, but then balked. I went ahead and met the dr. after the examination. She said of course--she herself is a 12-yr. bc survivor! and her daughter was 13 when she went through treatment and she told me it's a really tough age for kids to deal with it. I think just hearing that helped my dd.

Hugs to all!

patti--I'd love to see you holding  your grandbaby.  That's gotta be great. 

RSBEN---YAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!  A cyber toast of Grand Haven (MICHIGAN) red merlot!!!!

Kim---Good idea about DD and counseling.  So far my dd is resisting.  

Nancy---So sorry about your aunt.  you are so right---what a year (s)!

Renrel--- Hon, If I was there in Boston, I'd find you and give you a big hug.  My dh kind of went into a denial stage and keeps stating how we will all be okay.  He went ONE time with me to rads tx and was there during my mx.  I really resisted having him come with me during any tx because he actually stressed me out more than helped, so I fortunately had a very dear friend take me to almost every tx.  

Speaking of my bff, what do you think I should give, do, have for her?  I couldn't have been so lucky to have her undying support.  

Love ya all.

Well Jewels, I am back from my 60km walk.  It was absolutely killer, the hardest thing I have ever done in my life (well, maybe the 2nd hardest ).  It was unbelievable!  I was so proud to be one of the survivors on the walk, I think out of 1200 people walking, there was about 25 or so survivors.  The 1200 participants raised over 3 million dollars!  One of the things they bought with the money are 2 mobile screening units that go all around Alberta and give mammograms to women in small towns who may not have access to mammograms, they said those 2 units will do over 25,000 additional mammograms this year.  The rest of the money will go to research and prevention etc.  Anyway, lots of fun, tons of hard work, and lots of blisters.....and I'm already signed up for next year!

JILLY!!!!! Ok, I'm just a dumb American, but I went to an online converter to see how far 60 K is. 32 MILES!!!!! Amazing. Amazing. Amazing. And what a success. Gee, I walked a bit over 4 miles this weekend and was pretty tired afterward. You're an inspiration!

Jess--I know what you mean about how to thank friends. I was going to have a party but I'm too tired right now. So, I've been trying to take them out for special dinners/breakfasts, and just tell them how much I love them. Doesn't seem like enough, though. I think I'll write cards too. I couldn't have done this without my girlfriends. DH did come to 3/4 AC txs, a couple Taxols--no rads though! I thought he might want to see the machine.

Patti--I can almost smell that new baby smell as you hold her on your shoulder. I've gotta be careful what I wish for....don't think son's quite ready (want him married to long-time girlfriend first).

Just got back from taking dd to airport. I walked her to the gate since she's 14. They asked me to take off my hat at security (have worn my wig before, and no one asked me to take that off!). I said OMG my hat??? My daughter said No big deal, mom. Made me feel ok, and I think I'm almost ready to ditch the hat. I have about an inch but very wispy white. The roots are coming in black (wierd--I had light brown before), though.

Jilily-boy do I need new glasses!  (another chemo se!) That 37 looked like a 32. Wow--even farther. Rest those feet (epsom salts?)

I changed my profile pic so you gals can see my hair...it's really starting to come in and it's a little out of control, it's so curly, but I love having hair again, so I won't complain.

JillyG, love the pic and can't believe how fast the hair is growing in