Beautiful Mastectomy Bras?

daughter16 · July 2009

My mother was recently diagnosed with breast cancer and after two painful and mutilating surgeries, the doctors still did not succeed in getting all of it out, so a mastectomy was in order for last week, the 16th.

My mother is a very feminine and self-conscious woman, whom I have always seen as beautiful, but now she is finding the beauty very hard to find with a breast missing. Her search for mastectomy bras has been more upsetting than reassuring for her. I want my mother to be able to feel beautiful in a feminine, flattering mastectomy bra, even with a breast missing.

Does anyone know any good online or local retailers? We live in New Hampshire. Thanks!

Erica3681 · July 2009

There actually are some pretty, feminine, comfortable mastectomy bras out there. Please check out my non-profit website, BreastFree.org. In the Bras and Camisoles section I recommend bras that I and other women have liked. There are links to pictures of the various bras, so you can see what they look like. Also, pockets that hold a breast form can be sewn into most regular bras, so your mother isn't limited to mastectomy bras. In the Helpful Links section, you'll find a list of online sites that sell mastectomy products.

I'm sorry she (and you) have to go through this. But, as someone who's had a bilateral mastectomy and no reconstruction, I really believe your mother can feel whole, beautiful, and feminine again.

Barbara

roseg · July 2009

I think if your Mom had surgery last week that it's still a bit soon to be looking at mastectomy bras. You really have to let yourself heal up first and even then shopping for bras is pretty stressful.

Plan on a consult with a bra fitter as your first step. While she may not choose to buy too many bras from the fitter they can be helpful in getting you into the right size. Because mastectomy bras need to fit pretty snugly to keep everything in place it's best to wait 6-8 weeks, at least, before doing this as you'll still be healing from surgery.

Does she have a camisole with an adjustable puff for the post-surgery healing time? That can help get you through this difficult time until your chest is healed up enough to wear a more regular bra.

nancyu · July 2009

Have your mom ask her doctor for prescriptions. Many insurance companies, including Medicaid, pay for a certain number of bras, a wig, and things. JC Penney has a line of bras and other items for women with mastectomies. They even help with the paperwork.

A company with a nice line is Amoena. That is who I bought mine from. They have camis, bras, prosthesis, swimsuits, etc. Another is Jolee (spelling?).

If she has to pay for them herself, have your mom shop around. Call around to the stores. I've seen the swimsuits half off. If she knows what she wants and the sizes, many will ship. That's how I did my second wig (my dog attacked the first one!)

There were two things that were my personal issues - my bras and my hair. I understand how your mom feels. You can sew pockets into a bra. My local hospital has a pattern. It will be a while before she will be able to wear a bra from a medical standpoint and from a comfort standpoint. As I went along my journey, I removed the underwire on one side, then the other.

You can call the American Cancer Society, any of the big cancer Institutes, and hopitals with American College of Surgeons approved Cancer programs. I am a few hours west of you. Dana Farber, Hitchcock and University of Vermont are the closest. UVM has a Hope Lodge. I have stayed there. I've been to NY to Sloan, too. Had my recon done in Westchester.

Let me know if you need telephone numbers or other information.

tabby · July 2009

daughter 16: How sweet of you to do this for your mother!! I too felt mutilated with my bilateral masectomies, even though I saw the pictures of others beforehand. I am totally happy with my decision to have the masectomies, but it seems like in this century we could do better. The best you can do is what you are doing: loving your mom. Let her take her time and heal emotionally and physically. Get her on-line or with a good support group or therapist. A lot of hospitals have these support services, but I've learned you have to search them out sometimes. Please let your mom know she is beautiful with or without breasts! We all have to learn that lesson and find a way to get beyond our visible scars. Again, bravo for wanting to help your mom.

daughter16 · July 2009

nancyu : thank you, I'm going to tell her about those! you see, the problem with her is she's a try things on no matter what kind of person. I think the only online shopping she's ever done is for her classroom (shes a catholic school teacher) or from talbots.com. I did tell her about sew-in patches before though, and removing underwire on one side is the best idea I've heard so far. thanks!

tabby: thanks, I've heard that when someone in your family is diagnosed with cancer, you then all feel as if you have cancer too. I feel like it's almost my duty as her daughter to make sure she feels beautiful through this, because I know through even my most awkward and crazy stages she'd call me beautiful. Although a different situation completely, it makes sense in my mind. I wish my mother was a social person but she's very shy, and her experiences with support group-type activities have been horrific. She attended a chemo make up class at the hospital that her friend recommended, during which all of the women either accused her of not having cancer (she's not yet undergone chemo), or rudely asked her either what her chances were, and eventually concluded that her cancer was the worst of all of the women in the class - sending my strong mother home in tears. Maybe it's just New Hampshire - I wish she could be around nice people who could understand what she's going through with her.

tabby · July 2009

daughter16: It angered me so to hear that your mom (or anyone else for that matter) felt "judged" at a support meeting. Are you kidding me? Cancer is cancer. Everyone's experience is different and IMPORTANT. Oh my goodness--MOVE TO THE SOUTH!! By the way, went to Wal-Mart today and found some camisoles (one in the fitness area that has a racerback back to it and places where you can insert pads (just like a bathing suit). I had previously found some cheap silicone inserts for bathing suits, so I may try inserting those to see how they make me feel. I also found another shelf bra camisole that I'm wearing right now. I did not put any prosthesis in there and unless you push on it no one would know. It also alleviates having to wear a bra around me right now. That might help your mom before she is really ready to be fitted. I have not yet been fitted but am getting ready for that. There are some things that don't look quite right without anything. I am fine, though, wearing nothing--I feel like I deserve that right at this point. Let others think what they may. Is your mom active in a church or anything or does she have someone she knows who has been through breast cancer that she might could relate to? Maybe she just needs to make a connection (as we all have--I have through this site as well) with those who are having similar feelings. Either way, you both are in our prayers. Tell her I said she is a beautiful sister of mine and to hold her head high!

daughter16 · July 2009

I will do that! Luckily she does have a friend who survived stage four pancreatic cancer and according to my mother, did it in style. She has helped her a lot with feeling beautiful above the breasts, by wig shopping with her and giving her the head scarves and turbans that she doesnt need anymore. She's not alone. I guess it's that it all happened so fast, and now with some time to think without the pain medication and hassle, it's finally sinking in, and it's a horrible reality for her.

Beautiful Mastectomy Bras?

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