Want to talk to early stage ladies.....

First of all - sounds to me like you did NOTHING wrong! Why should YOU feel guilty - you also have EVERY right to ask for copies of your reports! I didn't even bother wasting my time asking my onc - I just went to the secretary at the desk and she made copies for me while I waited.

My oncologist spends about 15 minutes with me each visit - he answers most of my questions, but usually I've answered my questions myself by my online research. Sounds to me like your oncologist is very impatient - how many minutes of her time were you taking up? Perhaps before your next visit you should call and ask "exactly how many minutes will the doctor allot to our visit?" Put them on the spot! Oh and you have EVERY right to ask as many questions as you want AND to research the internet - you MUST advocate for yourself - I have read about too many errors onc's and other doctors have made. Please do NOT assume you did anything wrong.......if this happens again to you, I would suggest shopping around for a new, more compassionate oncologist who isn't constantly watching the clock!

Immediately after my diagnosis and mastectomy, my oncologist appointments were half an hour or more.   At this point, I am only seeing him for routine follow up appointments.  The appoinments take  15 minutes or less and consist of some discussion of how I am feeling and a brief exam , including my mast scars and chest.

I haven't had many questions prepared for him, as I have had copies of my pathology reports before seeing him.  Most of our time has been spent discussing treatment, pros and cons of chemo and tamoxifen versus AIs.    He does not seem to be in a  hurry, unlike the other oncologist in the practice who I when my oncologist was on vacation to discuss axillary disection and my then upcoming mastectomy.   He has never been annoyed when I ask for copies of reports - I just ask the front desk person and they make copies.  

Even if you have early state bc, you deserve to have your questions answered and to be able  get copies of your reports.  Don't feel guilty, you didn't do anything wrong.  

BWorrier - you don't sound like a "problem" to me, except perhaps you are looking for more than "answers" from your doctors. Are you looking for reassurances - emotional support? I've NEVER received that from ANY of my doctors (except my original onc - who turned out to be so disorganized I switched anyway). For emotional support I come here to BC.ORG and to my family and friends. For answers to my questions, I turn to the internet and again to BC.ORG.........so by the time I see my onc, I have most of my questions already answered - I usually just pass them by him to see if he AGREES with the answers (sometimes he doesn't). Doctors just don't have the time to dedicate to patients unfortunately - but don't beat  yourself up over it, it certainly isn't YOUR fault (blame the insurance companies). If you only spent 20-30 minutes with your onc, I'm sure that normally it would have been OK - it wasn't YOUR fault that she was already 40 minutes behind schedule. You can prioritize your questions by asking the ones that directly affect YOUR treatment. Or, before your next appointment, just come here to BC.ORG and list your questions and see if we can help you prioritize them. It's enough to have to deal with the emotional roller-coaster of breast cancer - don't wear a "Kick Me" sign for doctors too................oh and btw - I found my new oncologist on my own. I didn't have to "ask permission" from my original onc - my insurance listed oncologists that were in the plan, and I made a couple of appointments - got copies of all my medical reports and made the switch. Easy enough - don't let anyone tell you otherwise! Good luck and hang in there!

BWorrier, the doctors are overscheduled.  You're not a problem patient. 

Re changing doctors, if you want to change, you should be able to get a referal from your pcp.  

Can you see another oncologist? Mine spent nearly 2 hours with me the first visit, explaining everything. I had 2 pages of questions typed out and he answered all but a couple of them before I had a chance to ask questions. (then he answered the 2 I had left). Second visit I think we only spent about 30 minutes, but I had few questions and was mainly there to get some test results that weren't in yet.   If the dr. is rude or unwilling to answer questions I'd want to see a different one.

I have to comment on this, BW.  If your car is "sick", you go to a car doctor (mechanic) - in other words, an expert.  No IF, but WHEN you have cancer, you seek an oncologist's "expertise".   How DARE she/he tell you not to research, to ask questions.   I once had that situation and pointed at the lovely framed diploma on the wall and said WHO should I ask if not you?   That knocked him down a few pegs and he did sit and answer each and every one of my questions then.   

Giving a copy of  your questions to him/her is a good idea.  Some may already have been answered in the general exam time.  Long ago a doctor friend told me that is it NOT stupid to ask questions, it is stupid NOT to ask questions.  It is your body and you are the one who lives with it and knows if it is not working properly.   Side effects are often given minimal priority, but they are there and each of us is an individual.   I have gone into shock with some medications and NO ONE is gonna tell me it is "nothing to worry about".  Be PRO active, be your own best friends and do NOT let doctors dictate to you.  

I have used this:  Can I ask a question about -------?   If you cannot answer it, who should I ask?   As far as using the internet for researching topics,  why not?   If it were in a book, would it be more valid, "documented", so to speak?   Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, as I see  you being pushed out the door with questions unanswered and a very snotty, rude, and holier than thou attitude from this "medical professional"...    more Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.     

Find an oncologist whom you absolutely adore, BWorrier, whatever the cost.  A patient should never be treated with an attitude such as this.  She is a bad doctor who is focused on getting patients out the door. 

 That she was rude is nothing shocking.  Having been in medical field for 25 years, I can say there are a fair share of physicians who are mediocre or less in practice today. 

 I am on my 3rd onc, personally :P and am looking for a 4th since I overhead my present oncologist, when dictating while in exam room with me, state:  "The patient has no hepatosplenomegaly." in front of me when, in fact, he had not palpated my freaking abdomen.  He is on auto pilot and focused on other things.  Burnt out, maybe.  I'll find another oncologist  who gives me my money's worth at the very least.

BWorrier: I have to say I disagree with a lot of what has been said.  If you are thinking to yourself I employ you, or you work for me, or I'm paying you, to your doc its time to find another one, because if you're thinking those things there is something bitter and wrong in the relationship and it won't work.  (Of course I would make an exeception for the brief period of time you're thinking that because someone was just condescening to you, and you find yourself saying wait a minute, why am I putting up with this, before you walk out to find another doc) You of course always have a right to your records, I just doubt your doc was the most expedient way to get them.  Why waste time asking what the secretary or someone else in the office can do when you have other more important questions. 

Sounds like you do need fo find yourself another doc. Find one you can feel comfortable and establish trust with.  Someone who can work with you to find a way to keep your bone health when you can't take calcium because of digestive problems.  What if you have sexual problems on Tanox and you want to talk to him/her about that?   Find someone where you can establish trust and fits with your personality.  There's too much anger in saying you work for me.  You can't talk about personal details and work out solutions if you feel that way.  I think the respect needs to work both ways.  They need to respect our need for answers and our emotions, we need to respect the fact that they only have 15 minutes per patient and have an office to run. I usually either call and ask for a double slot of time, end of the day appt (or end of morning, I know my Onc has missed lunch a few times after our appts), or for two appts a week apart for times I have a lot of questions.

I would also echo swimangel.  Working with docs is establishing a two way relationship.--for their expertise and information.  For emotional support, never gonna happen in 15 min every few months in their office, I get that here.  

I too am early stage.  My first visit with my radiation oncologist went very well.  When you are diagnosed with cancer here; they give you literature to read and encourage you to ask as many questions as you would like; he took the time with me and to me seemed to genuinely care about my health.  I then had to see a medical oncologist whom I had a problem with from the very beginning; I found her to be very abrasive; in other words she had a terrible bedside manner; also encouraged questions, but I did not feel comfortable with her at all and have requested and gotten another medical oncologist to see when I finish my radiation treatments, which will be in four days.  PHEW, I have actually made it through without major problems.  Don't be afraid to ask your doctor questions.  You should also feel comfortable with your doctor, not dread going in to see them.  Hang in there, it will get better.  God bless you.

Mona

hi. i just had surgery tuesday august 4th, 2009. i had a lumpectomy and sentinel node biopsy for invasive ductal carcinoma and a component of ductal carcinoma in sutu. i dont know what your surgery was or how long ago. how did you decide on no to chemo? i may need that and i am not looking forward to it at all from what people tell me. i am waiting for pathology results.bobbiejayne12345

I will answer as a patient first, Excellent that you take questions, I do the same I even got on line the Journal they sell and it has questions to ask doctors, your records you can get them from records office, or request by mail, it is the Law to have them, I have all my records from all my doctors, tests and even RN notes, this way I see if they are no mistakes.

I spend at least 45 minutes with my doctor, including blood work.

Now as a professional in a Cancer Center, each visit can tale up to 1 or more hours, we ask patients to bring a recorder, in case they forget, the chemo teaching we do for an hour, the first visit is very long, we want the patient to have all their questions answer, also we can have an open phone line if a family member needs to hear .Your doctor like the a lawyer works for you and he has to meet your needs, if can not fire him[her] and get a new one, you do not have to feel that they are making you a favor, about questions look for the forms on line, also copies of one records are supposed to be free.

I teach to patients to be more assertive, ask questions a participate in their treatments, at work they have to carry their charts if they have several visits, and I have VIP that travel with help , carry theirs.

I am not a patient at my place of work, to keep separate my personal and professional life.