MAY 2009 Rads

I just posted the below on the rads w/ TE thread so I also thought I would copy it here.  Deb I feel for you.  If last Friday had not been my last day I really feel I would have quit.  My body had had enough.  I could NOT have done another treatment. When I walked out of those doors that last day I cried my eyes out, I couldnt get away from there fast enough.  I could hardly read these threads my last week because everyone seemed to be doing so well and I was not.  I am 6 days out and today is the first day I can say that it might be healing a very little.  It was a hit in the pride department.  I was one of those that was skipping through the first few weeks saying this isnt so bad. Boy did I eat those words.  I just want to thank everyone on this thread for the support and congrats.  Keep posting your experiences, it was so helpful to me and I know it will be to others about to take this trip.  You guys are so strong, you can own that!! xoxo

Hi ladies,

I finished last Friday.  I didn't post for a while, I really didnt have anything good to say so I was keeping quiet.  I didnt want to be Debbie Downer and spread doom and gloom. I had a hard time the last 2 weeks.  I dont know if the TE had any thing to do with my skin reaction to rads  (prob not) and time will tell how my recon will turn out.  I did burn and blister, pretty bad.  I worked everyday of my tx but have been off since the last treatment.  I have to keep lots of goop on the area and can only wear over sized tshirts. I cant put my arm down to my side and have needed to take some pain meds for the first time since my surgery.  Everything went fine for the first 3 weeks or so then something changed and it all went down hill.  I'm so glad its over and I just want to heal up and get on with it. This has by far been one of my biggest challenges.

Wow, I just read the WIN study.  It makes me feel better about diet and exercise being my follow-up.  A toast to health,.

I have two more boosts and I tell you, I am red, red, red. 

My husband had a meeting in the big city, so he went with.  He is a wild driver in the city and I am a former driver's ed teacher, so you can imagine the trip.  White knuckling trip # 2 and  hurried drive back from the location of his meeting to my appointment brought forth hot flash number 5 of the day; I have had about ten today.

  I walk into the building that is beautiful- a water fall, a beautiful chandelier, a grand pian.  The place is peaceful, there is a man playing wonderful calming jazz (oxymoron?) on the grand piano and the receptionist smiles at me with a calm look on her face. I look around, I take a deep breath and I say to myself I am about to be done with treatment. Without anytime to reflect,  the dizziness I felt last week loomed its ugly head and I literally had to rest my head on the elevator as I went downstairs.  I realize now as I am feeling a bit less stressed, that the place I dreded going to for so long was a respite to me today .  I don't know , but I certainly didn't like the panic .  I was also surprised it hit me like it did. I have so wanted to be done with all the aches and pains-physically and emotionally of treatment and as I am to finish, I feel vulnerable. 

The rest of the day was okay,  but I do feel like crying off and on.  And as I have often said on this board and the chemo thread I was on, I couldn't have done it with out the support from all of you.  First of all, writing this has been good for me and secondly and better yet, your responses to me have been great.  The support, the laughter, the remarks, concerns questions have helped me to cope.  Thank you May Radiettes.  I do hope we keep in touch.  Besides, I have two more txs and I can't wait to drink my cyber stoli and cranberry!!!

LynneVA, I could have written the second paragraph of your post today, except I had to take a lot of days off from work the last week of rads and work from home so that I could just wear Aquaphor, silvadene and a t-shirt. 

Today will be day three of tamoxifen.  I've been having hot flashes but they are more intense today, happening at meetings.  I'm also very irritable today and my little boy is not "listening" to me or to his theater camp teachers.  I received the dreaded "call" at work by the director of the camp today because he grabbed at a little boy when he didn't get something that he wanted, and because he's refusing to follow directions.  This year has been a v. big challenge.  I feel a little overwhelmed today, and over emotional.

My skin feels so much better now.  At its worst I also had to use Vicodin for the pain and couldn't wear a bra or put my arm down, I was going through a tube of Biafine every 2 days, so switched to tubs of Aquaphor and silvadene.  It still needs more mosturizer, have to keep doing that.

Congratulations, Pringles!!!!  One more to the finish line!

Bold, the dark nip does return to normal - mine is almost there.  The dark skin peeled off very slowly, I think by rubbing against your clothing it gently comes off, and now I just have a dark ring around it - which is good, it was really startling looking!!

I must get on the fitness wagon with more enthusiasm!!  I have been cooking more low-fat, vegetarian-based or organic chicken meals during the week, which my DH isn't too enthused about, and will let him have some "skinny" meat on the weekends - leaner cuts and such.  I've always have been a fruit and veggies lover - unfortunately we don't have any Trader Joes in florida, I think (I love them when I go to NYC or LA), and the nearest Whole Foods is 45 minutes away, so I try to get to the farmers market or fruit stand and load up - I've been Mrs. Cherry the last couple of weeks, because the bings are in season.  But, I need to ramp up the exercise now that the breast pain is receding a little.  I have a Pilates machine that is pretty dusty - that's going to be cleaned up and brought back to life.  We've been trying to power walk with the doggies at night, but it has been ungodly hot (high 90's with humidity to match) and its buggy out too, so we're switching to bicycling.  I am definitely not happy with the pudge!

Welcome, RoseP.  I hope your rash gets treated soon!  I had an itchy rash during treatment, but it seemed to get better after putting Biafine cream on it.  But, wow, that stuff is expensive!

My boost area is very red and tender still.  Don't know how long it will take to heal.  I had a checkup with my surgeon yesterday and a mammogram.  The nurse couldn't believe that it had been scheduled for the same week I finished radiation, but I was determined to get it done.  Very painful, but it came back all clear and I won't have another mammogram until January 2010.  Woo hoo!

I'm going to try to be diligent about the lowfat diet and exercise, since that's all us triple negative gals have right now.  But boy is it hard to eat out, especially here in the South where the preferred cooking method is frying, adding lots of cheese, or both!

Have a good Friday, everyone!

Good Morning my friends: We do not have any grads today so I will give my cyber liver a break. I am having my first boost today!!! I have a pretty nasty rash. RoseI have heard of your rash before on another thread. It is related to the radiation and can be treated. Hang in there. It should not interfere with hormone treatment. I know that it is awful to take hormone treatment period. Some times tit seems so unnatural to rid our bodies of estrogen, poison it with toxic chemos, burn it with radiation for the benefit of our health. You talk about a oxymoron.

Oh ivorywhat a pisser!!! Just think about Sally Field she is a poster girl for osteoporosis. Can it be reversed? Looks like you will be adding a little weight bearing exercise to your regimine. I use to be very athletic and have slowly gotten away from it, Now I feel so terrible out of shape it is going to be a long haul back, I think starting with walking and weights during the week and kayaking on the weekends and bicycling on the beach would be great. I don't like to bike by my house to many hills. I have my heart function test coming up. That will make me feel better about making it work hard. I have been a  little breathless from the Herceptin that I will be on till December.(ugg) I am grateful for it but damn.

I want to make BBQ chicken this weekend. I will get hormone free birds. I like to do that because there are so many easy meals wit left overs.

How was everyones energy level while on boost did it start to improve compared with reg rads? I have been pretty pooped. Hoping to get my normal energizer bunny me back.

Jess Hang in there you are soooo close. I am right behind you.

Yes I would like to tell you the only side effect I have is I do not sweat at all where I had rads.

I put lotion on before I left the room of treatment  I have same texture and softness as other breast no shrinkage or pain

I might add two things.  My doctor was amazed how well I did and thought I took a lot of vit. and so on.

What did happen the word of cancer and waiting to learn if I would do chemo cause me to lose 22 pounds in four weeks.  All I could eat or drink was Topician juice lots of vit. C and a few crackers.

They told me I had to stop losing weight before during the rads treatment.  I did.

I think my no side effects and I am fair skined, is the daily dose of vit. C. I craved juice.

I would encourage you all to drink juice before,during and after. Do not forget to use the cream right after treatment

my date is 12   2006  stage 1 grade 1 tubular looking cells

The treatments did not hurt it was just all the trips.  My husband were together in the car every day.

I do remember I would become very tired about two hrs later.

I had a new yorkie pup and she sleep with me on the couch when I returned home.  She still is in tune with how I feel

And crap I am now back to my old weight and need too lose,but not that way. May God bless you all as you tell your needs.

Hi ladies...

IVORYMOM...yikes! sorry to hear about the osteoporosis...will your hormone therapy be adjusted to address this? I thought I read somewhere that Tamox or other hormone therapy helps with bone health??? is that right???

LYNNVA...sorry to hear you had such a terrible time with rads...wishing you a fast recovery...

ROSEP...welcome...I, too, am thankful for these boards...found it after chemo but before rads...very helpful but I must admit I try to take the positives without thinking so much about it but take the not-so-hopeful posts (there's a few in other threads) with a grain of salt...

JRGOLOMB...I am dreading the start of Tamox because I've heard so much about the anxiety that it could cause...this BC thing sucks...minor aches and pains sometimes put me on a tailspin...I feel a bump and I literally freezes...there are times I am convinced that, even after all these treatments, I have not beat this disease...I need to remind myself that I have done everything I could and if that's not enough this time around, heck, like CRUISE says I'm ready to KICK and FIGHT like a GIRL...

CHELEV and CAROLINACHICK...I am soooo ready to go topless too...I mean full time as I've gone topless on the weekends and weeknights but still wear a wig at work...I have full coverage now but I think I need to get it shaped a little as the sides and back are way longer than the top...

Be well ladies...

Cruise4life - Yes, I take a vitamin, but just a daily vitamin that I have been taking for 10+ years.  I guess it could react with the radiation, but not sure.

Thanks to everyone who has responded.  I am doing a little better this evening, with the steriod cream.  The rash is still there, and actually spreading some to my back and into the treatment field, but it doesn't seem as red or quite as itchy tonight.  Perhaps the cream is working.

I am hopeful, with being 10 days removed from the last radiation treatment, that things will start to get better.  I was very lucky, compared to some, that I did not blister.  My radiation nurse stressed the importance of the radiation cream (I am using X-Clair) and I tried my best to  follow her directions.  When my treatments started, she told me to expect blistering by the 3rd to 4th week, due to my fair skin.  However, I have made it through with no blisters.  Even the last couple of days, when the rash completely covered the treatment area as well as the surrounding skin, the techs were amazed at how well my skin looked.  I had just a few sore spots below my breast (where the skin rubbed on skin) that have just about healed now.

The fatigue is another issue.  I am still working only about 6 hours per day and come home at lunchtime for a long lunch/nap (I live 10 minutes from the office).  I try to get 8 - 9 hours sleep per night and am napping on the weekends.  The treatments pretty much wiped me out from day 2. 

I am also dreading the start of the Tamoxifen - I guess that is why I am looking for excuses not to start - i.e. the rash.  

I've been away all week on business trip so I've missed a few recent grads

Facecrafter, ajlive, Carolinachick, Pringles Yeah you are done! Cheers! Clink, clink!

 I'm going without hats or scarves my hair is really short, but it looks really long to me since I remember not having a bit of it! Well this week I saw a lot of people and many of them gave me an odd look. I think they may have been thinking "that woman thought she'd look good with that severe haircut she is so wrong!"  I also had someone refer to me as that woman from New York, I guess because I have this short sticky up hair do.  No curls! I'm not surprised, but my Onc practially promised! I'm happy to have hair, whatever!

It feels so good to be done and I guess I didn't notice that my arm was really sore during rads, because it feels really good now and not heavy like it had beenfeeling.

 ddlatt you are so right that you made the time for treatment, and exercise is really treatment for us as well isn't it?

I'm still creaming up the breast area and underarm. The doctor said to keep it up at least until the end of July and longer if the coating of grease doesn't make me feel hot.

I've been eating all organic meat and veg for years, and it didn't seem to stop the cancer but I'm staying organic because I think it's just better for you to have less chemicals in your food.

I know I have to work hard to exercise more and eat less. I read somewhere that for BC woman you should strive to be no more than 5 pounds over your weight at age 18. Are they kidding?? Maybe I should have kept all my clothes from high school, ha ha. I have a good friend and her favorite saying is "something is better than nothing" I think it's going to be my new motto.

Because I was away I haven't had a chance to notice that I have 4 extra hours everyday. This week will be so nice.

I hope everyone is healing and finding joy and peace this weekend.

Hi May Radiators;   I apologize for not keeping up with graduations -- I had to go to cyber detox!  LOL!!      

Actually, I had got some distressing news and have been working hard to process it and stay calm...  My genetic testing showed I'm BRCA2 positive --   my course of lumpectomy and rads was prob not the optimal choice.   Haven't asked if I got the right chemo....

So 30 rads and 4200 miles later, I am looking at bilat mastectomy - the recon options may be limited due to the rads.

The crash from the euphoria of being done is quite the trip!   Has to be similar to what women experience with recurrence.  Maybe this is a gift -- I can substantially lower my risk now that I know....I can't even begin to wrap my head around new cancer and a repeat of this year.  Having a little trouble wrapping it around more surgeries.....but I will get there. 

Sorry Kathy.  There are probably many of us who will need some cyber detox when this is all over.  I probably won't visit daily after July.  I'll be back to work and all of that.  The BRCA 2 news was a blow and another loss to grieve.  But, at least you know you are improving your odds of the cancer not returning.  That part of it has to be a comfort.  Wow, we have so many feelings during the course of the illness.  Good and bad all mixed up in the same bag.

Today I'm really sore.  Just one left and I'm so glad.  Right now I'm sitting with my blouse open with lots of goop on it.  My nipple especially is very sore.  But, at least I have a 2 day break and then it's over done finished.

Have a great weekend all.

kt57  -  my chemo was taxatere+cytoxin+adrimicin   for week 2, followed by taxatere for weeks 2&3.  The cycle repeated for a total of 6 cycles.  I've now finished readiation (28 sessions) and am searching for skin treatment options.  And am starting arimidex tonitr.  What's happening with you?