Don't postpone joy

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited July 2009

    No biopsy yet, but there is still the joy of living each day.

    Today I experienced joy in telling Bible stories to the children at church. They were so attentive and enthusiastic that I got a real high from it and exceeded my usual efforts. I rejoice that I pulled myself out of bed this morning in order not to miss this time of joy.

    Bette 

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited July 2009

    Arrived home from church this morning to discover flowers, the laundry done and dinner in the crock pot. What a guy I'm married to!

    Learned today that a needle biopsy would be risky, so I may have to have a bronchoscopy. It is easier to at least know what is going on.

    Tom is determined that my illness will not steal our joy.

    Bette 

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  • TenderIsOurMight
    TenderIsOurMight Member Posts: 4,493
    edited July 2009

    A very empathic loving husband for sure, bettelou.

    Patience is hard when waiting for knowledge, but often well worth the wait when safe technique and results are at issue. Glad your NP is updating you on progress reports so regularly: that is phenomenal.

    Tender

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  • sushanna1
    sushanna1 Member Posts: 764
    edited July 2009

    Bette,

    Glad that the news so far is encouraging.  Hang in there.

    Sue

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  • NYmom60
    NYmom60 Member Posts: 44
    edited July 2009

    Bette,

    What a wonderful husband! Praying for great results and continued joy.

    Monika 

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited July 2009

    We are still waiting for a biopsy of my lung, but we are waiting together. Trying to relax this weekend. Hoping to hear about my biopsy appointment Monday.

    This week we got a lot of joy from helping with Vacation Bible School at church and getting to know and love the children in attendance.

    Tonight we are making homemade ice cream, vanilla with crushed peanut butter cups in it. Yum. This kind of thing gives me something to look forward to and makes the waiting easier.

    Bette 

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited July 2009

    My lung biopsy is set for next Wednesday, July 22. Before that, Tom and I are doing a shopping and theatre weekend in Lancaster County, PA. We will see "In the Beginning" at the Sight and Sound Theatre.

    Today we sat by the pool and enjoyed being outside together. I am looking forward to our weekend, and forward to getting the biopsy over with

    Bette 

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited July 2009

    Joy is getting up at sunrise in Lancaster County to listen to all the animals waking up!

    Bette

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  • EWB
    EWB Member Posts: 2,927
    edited July 2009

    Bette,

    I just found this thread and have been delighted reading your posts! Thank you for such a powerful reminder. Your love of Tom and the joy in your life just jumps off the pages, so much happiness and delight much like little ones discovering something for the first time. 

    The wedding photos are lovely and I thank you for sharing such a special day with all of us. I pray for many happy days for you and Tom, that you continue to be the sunshine for each other, bringing light, healing and love to each other, illuminating the dark places, knowing you are not alone...for you will always have each other.

    Hugs, and prayers for good health!

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  • sushanna1
    sushanna1 Member Posts: 764
    edited July 2009

    Bette--Good luck on Wednesday.

    Sue

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  • NYmom60
    NYmom60 Member Posts: 44
    edited July 2009

    Bette,

    Always loved Lancaster. I remember my first trip as a kid where we stayed at a motel off the beaten path next to farms. At night it was so peaceful and I loved looking up the stars. In the morning, I could hear the animals stirring and smell the fresh country air. I felt closer to God and nature out in the country - it was like another world to a kid from NYC. 

    Wishing you good luck on Wednesday.

    Monika 

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited July 2009

    Monika, Our motel was off the beaten path surrounded by farms, and it was so lovely and peaceful. We will definitely return.

    I am writing now from a hotel in Baltimore. The surroundings are not so lovely, but the staff has been very good to us. There is a floor just for Hopkins patients, with a nice hospitality suite plus a laundry room. We decided to stay an extra night as my procedure is tomorrow afternoon, and Tom does not want to subject me to a long car ride if I am not feeling well. We did laundry this morning, and Tom is watching a nature movie on TV. I am not a nature person, so I am computing.

    Soon we will take a shuttle to the hospital for my appointment with the pulmonary specialist. WE just held each other last night. It gives me joy to have a wonderful man at my side through all this.

    Bette

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  • EWB
    EWB Member Posts: 2,927
    edited July 2009

    you are truly blessed

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited July 2009

    The biopsy is over; the waiting for the pathology report has begun. I came through it OK, and they got a big enough tissue sample. Yesterday I felt really wiped out, probably from general anesthesia, but today I am better.

    I must be OK, because I am baking cookies. Ah, the simple pleasure of freshly baked oatmeal raisin cookies! 

    Bette 

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited July 2009

    This is the day that the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it!

    Whatever we learn about my biopsy tomorrow, we will ind cause for rejoicing.

    Bette 

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited July 2009

    I have stage IV IBC. I said yesterday, that I would find cause for joy, no matter the news today. So here goes.

    I will rejoice in all my BCO sisters and friend and their support. I will rejoice in my husband Tom, and his love. I will rejoice in my brothers and sisters in Christ, and for all of their prayers. I will rejoice in my family, especially the promise of life embodied by my little niece and nephew. I will rejoice in the Holy Bible, which is a lamp to my feet, and a light to my path in this dark time. Most of all, I will rejoice in my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, who has purchased eternal life for me.

    My God is bigger than cancer!

    Bette 

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  • Leah_S
    Leah_S Member Posts: 8,458
    edited July 2009

    Bette, I am so sorry to hear this news. You are in my thoughts often, and I'm praying for you.

    A friend of mine with mets said she has been told that it is a CHRONIC  illness - in other words, you LIVE with it and adjust to its limitatoins.

    May you live a LONG  time with it.

    Leah

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  • shrink
    shrink Member Posts: 936
    edited July 2009

    Bette:

     I have recently returned to the discussion board after about a 6 month break.  I am delighted to hear about your marriage.  My husband and I just celebrated our 1 year anniversary and, although, he isn't as creative as your man, he makes breakfast every day and stood by with throughout all of my treatment. He told me I was beautiful even when I was bald.

    Of course, I am sorry to hear about the Stage IV mets but you seem to have a way of finding joy anyhow.  My chances for recurrence are high with a bunch (21) of positive notes but I just try to keep my feet moving and not pay too much attention to the sword hanging over my head.  I am inspired by your ability to be so positive in the face of all of this.  I think I'll bake a cake today in your honor.

     You live in West Chester and I live in KP.  I'd love to buy you lunch.

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited August 2009

    Tom and I rejoiced in God's creation during a visit to Longwood Gardens today. The flowers, trees, birds and fountains were refreshing to the soul. I have posted a web album of this and our Lancaster County getaway under Vacations 2009. 

    Bette 

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  • kjbell
    kjbell Member Posts: 974
    edited August 2009

    Bette-I just viewed your wedding album and the Longwood Garden photos. The pics are beautiful, and I liked how Tom had his pink ribbon pin on! I am glad you guys enjoyed the day together. Thanks for sharing your life thru your photos!

    Karen

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited August 2009

    Tom always wears his pink ribbon in honor of me. It makes me feel very special.

    Bette 

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited August 2009

    Joy is fresh banana bread with coffee, and knitting a new baby blanket for a friend.

    I am trying not to dwell on the fact that I will soon be on chemo again. Good news last week was a negative bone scan!

    Bette 

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited August 2009

    Today, joy is breakfast by candlelight, cooked by my loving partner, and fresh flowers for me, also from Tom.

    It is important to rejoice in each day of life that God gives us on earth.

    Bette 

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited August 2009

    Joy tonight was a cookout with friends from church. We sat around until after dark telling stories, and for awhile I was able to forget about my IBC.

    Tomorrow is a "girls day out" with DD. She is a big cause of joy in my life, 25 years old and grown into a lovely young woman.

    I am doing this trial in part so if Rachel or her friends get BC, there will be new treatments and therapies to help them.

    Bette 

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited August 2009

    Day with DD was lots of fun, plus we had time to talk about IBC and life in general.

    Chemo is moved up to tomorrow at 2 PM.

    Tom is still reminding me that "Virginia is for lovers." We will be staying two nights and will do some sightseeing if I am up to it on Friday.

    Bette 

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited August 2009

    Joy is napping in your own bed after a long, long ride home from VA. It ended up being too hot and humid for me to sightsee in DC today.

    The trial is started. First infusion yesterday and nausea stable on Zofran. There is joy in testing this new drug so that soon my BC sisters who need it can have it.

    Bette 

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited September 2009

    Tom and I attended a retreat last weekend for couples living with metastatic BC. Although all the women in the room were Stage IV, not curable and all the husbands in the room were dealing with the pressures of caretaking, we were able to share joy.

    Joy is present in each day of life we are given, whether it is at a beautiful retreat center or in a hospital bed.  I was feeling under the weather all weekend and turned out to have pneumonia when I got home, but Tom and I came away from the gathering with a spirit of joy and hope.

    Bette 

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited September 2009

    Six long-stemmed red roses arrived today to mark our six-month wedding anniversary tomorrow.

    The past six months have been full of joy and companionship, along with the heartache that came with my Stage IV diagnosis. We are so happy to have each other to rejoice with.

    And we are so glad we got married when we did instead of waiting until I was "better"

    Don't postpone joy. Each day is a gift.

    Bette 

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited September 2009

    I am blessed to have Tom in my life. He is so optimistic, planning for our 25th wedding anniversary and saying that he will chase me with his walker, but when he catches me, I will have to remind him why he was chasing. LOL

    I have had some down times this week, with people I know dying from this disease. I just wake up every morning and praise God for a new day of life, for today is the only day any of us can be certain of.

    Bette 

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited September 2009

    We are off to Virginia to get CT scans done to learn the state of my liver, and whether my lungs have improved or not. We are concerned, but blessed to have God and each other to hold on to during this time.

    Bette 

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