Accountability in a police state.

Noh8, I recognize the avatar but not the name.....What did you go by before?.....Just curious.......I love the NoH8 name by the way.......We all need to not H8 each other.....Especially now that we are all ill and need support.............

As for the PM's .....Someone was PMing Mazy and bullying her that way telling her she was not welcome on certain boards............

It passed??...ALRIGHT!   So glad to hear......What was your name before in 2002?......My daughter is a member of GSA at her school.....I am hetero but I am not a homophobe.......I believe we all should live our oives the way we want to and if it offends then look the other way.........My daughter actually told me she was bisexual..I was taken aback by it cause noone in  my family ever admitted such even though we have a few homosexuals in our family.....Doesn't bother me one bit that she is.........I am proud that she is comfortable in her own skin and can admit it to me and whoever will listen..........

You told me before about your daughter, Hollyann. I think it's great you raised her to be so open at such a young age! My first name on here was PinkRibbonAmy--- that seems like a LONG time ago.

Ok who is this guy 00markanderson who keeps posting these nasty posts about female sexuality and our men?.......I looked on his bio and he has a pharmaceutical website........He is soliciting on two boards.....And yes I have contacted the moderators cause he is creepy!..............I let him know in a PM that i was notifying the Mods too..........It is hard enough to find a supportive thread without the site being hijacked by solicitors.....SHEESH!......

I need to put a note in here and apologize to someone who I thought may have instigated the anti-Dr. Massey smear. I was wrong, dead wrong, and I own that. It's a lesson to me about trying to figure out what I don't really know and putting my foot in my mouth. I hurt someone who I really care about and who is having enough issues on her own without me falsely accusing her in a roundabout way.

My, the lessons we learn in life.

Anne

I never knew people didn't know my new name-- since it was the same account.

I didn't mean my post to address anyone. I've seen many posts where folks talk about their negative feelings about someone else or taking problems that should have been handled off the boards and been on the receiving end of that. It's not a fun place to be. Once I stared ignoring the BS I enjoyed the boards a lot more. It's easy to stay away from those folks unless they start what I call "post stalking".I found that emailing the moderators when talking to the person off the boards didn't word eventually was helpful. More hands on moderation would be an ideal solution to the problem, in my opinion.

PiP, I think mostly they just want to talk to us about (their) God......you know, the vengeful one.

And what's TOTALLY CRAPPY is that bc org has not made a way for people like Nicki to come back!!  I mean, even if she cut off her arm they wouldn't let her back.  She didn't do anything wrong yet someone outed her rather than let her be here for support!!!!!!!!!!!

jader, you're right that the current situation has nothing to do with religion or politics - it is an old vendetta that keeps being played out over and over again.  But it does seem odd to me that some who claim to be the most pious do the worst acts.  Whatever happened to "do unto others...." and "turn the other cheek..."?

Patmom, I was thinking exactly the same thing!  Sad, isn't it?  And impossible to understand.

I agree wholeheartedly:

with Jader -- "some people are just mean for meanness' sake"

with PatMom -- "sad and bizarre when... a breast cancer support site can't give a woman fighting for her life a second chance to get support" -- a woman whose posts deleted yesterday were exemplary for their fairness, clarity, warmth, kindness, courtesy to all viewpoints, honesty...

with Beesie -- "Whatever happened to 'do unto others....' and 'turn the other cheek...'?"

I really hope the Moderators will reconsider.

I think I may be able to offer a unique perspective about what goes on around here, because other than three women I was particularly close to in 2007, I haven't formed any personal relationships with anyone else on the board. We've since lost those beautiful women, and that's pretty much when I stopped reading and posting because they're passing affected me greatly.  After a long break, I decided to come back. I saw early on that things like this happen. Was I surprised? No, that's the nature of women, IMO, you can always count on one of them to turn on you at some point in your life for whatever ridiculous reason. If you think that what you say doesn't get back to someone else....well....really?  We're women, that's what we do. (Part of the reason I've never worked for one). What I am surprised about though, is that it happens on a bc support board. CANCER people.....how can you say something rude to anyone fighting this disease? Shockingly, some people have no problem being rude to someone else fighting cancer. I find it particularly distasteful. I've been reading these boards for a long time and, since I don't have a vested interest in what anybody says to anyone else's "friend" I do have to admit that  I am shocked by some posts that are made by women who for whatever reason, have no filter or moral compass.....just an incessant need to be heard and to be right. Just thought I'd throw that out there and you can do what you want with it. If you want to allienate each other....go ahead, it doesn't matter to me. I care about all of you as a fellow bc patient, but if you continue to do this to each other, I swear, this board in it's entirety is going to go away. Where will you be then? Look what's happened on the mets board. How many women have they lost because of the bickering?  It's really, really, not worth it.

Edited to add: I find it weird that the "mods" keep getting blamed for this kind of junk. Sounds more like a problem amongst cliques, which is kind of childish and immature IMO.

Deborah, your banning was absurd - I remember it well.  You were a scared and angry newbie expressing your feelings, and because of a few words that you used, a narrow minded group of women reported you and you were banned.

The current situation is absurd as well.  What happened in the past is in the past; it's ancient history.  Paprika broke no rules and should not have been banned.  And I too blame the moderators, because they allow certain members to play the system in order to get other women banned.  That's wrong and it should not be allowed. 

gracie, I agree that it's natural to expect that bickering is going to happen when you have a large group of women from very different backgrounds and with very different standards and beliefs, all communicating together on a discussion board.  Where I disagree is that I think the moderators should be stepping in to nip these situations in the bud when they first start, rather than let them build and fester. We have cliques on this board because they've been allowed to stay and wield power.  I also believe that rather than treat everyone equally when these situations develop, there are times when the moderators should be making a judgement call.  If that had been done in Deborah's case, she wouldn't have been banned, because it was clear that her use of "improper" language was simply done in frustration because of her diagnosis, it was not done with the objective of offending anyone.  This is a breast cancer support board, and the primary objective of the moderators should be to ensure that women who come here with a diagnosis of breast cancer get the best possible support from the community.  Allowing one small group to get someone banned because of a few words seems to me to be contrary to that objective. 

But maybe it's just me.

I think there should be "time outs" not permanent bannings.

We don't really know that the moderators DO NOT do their job - as we don't actually know how bc.org defines their job ...  I think what most of us are saying is that we think much more moderation is needed ... and that bc.org isn't stepping up to really moderate the discussion boards -   the moderators need to be actively reading and dealing with things here ..  not simply reacting once a post get flagged/reported ...   this site is on auto-moderate ...  and plain and simple - it's not working.  More is needed ...  many of us have been saying this for a long time - and some even volunteered to help ...

Doreen

Blue, I agree with you. So much suffering in this disease and fear.  Anyone afflicted with this disease can fracture into a million pieces and personalities.  If someone reads words written here by a person with whom they have breast cancer in common, that is the commonality. Not religious faith, economic equality, educational level, or even stage of breast cancer because that can change with a mammogram or scan.  When people find this site, some pray, others swear, some offer humor, information, familiar conversation, poetry, pictures, others draw a blank, others draw a verbal sword.  Many women don't have, or don't want to participate in a live group therapy environment where they live.  BreastCancer.org has the potential to provide all women with varying personality types, a place to reach out for help.  A place to find somebody with whom they connect to help them stay afloat in this turbulent sea.  The movie industry has categories for films that are intended for viewers of certain ages.  The "R" rating allows people over 17 to enter a film, but some people 90 years old might be terribly offended by a film intended for those over the age of 17.  It's all relative.  Breast cancer is just something so horrid.  So cavalier. It messes with our minds and the drugs many take render them helpless to the words they may write - but they still need support.  Where else can they go?  If there needs to be an "R" rated forum, or an "X" type forum for them, then there should be.  The mods said long ago this forum goes thru periods of flux, turmoil, etc., but things eventually settle down again like the feathers after a pillow fight.  I'm worried about Diane "Badboob67".  And Nicki.  I haven't been here in a long while, but I see how women are passing away.  Squabbles are so small compared to the loss of life, and the lost opportunity to help each other when we're scared.  I don't know.  I just wish we all had healthy breasts.