Don't postpone joy

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  • sushanna1
    sushanna1 Member Posts: 764
    edited May 2009

    Bette--Anyone will tell you that I am not a shy person, but the thought of putting a profile on line makes me really nervous.  So I collect stories from people with more courage than I and maybe one day I will do something.

    Hope that the photographs turn out well.  Sue

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  • leaf
    leaf Member Posts: 8,188
    edited May 2009

    You are such a beautiful couple, and such an inspiration.  Wishing you many, many years of joy.

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited May 2009

    Sue, I AM shy. The reason match.com worked for me, I think, is that no one knows your name or phone or email address unless you get to the point where you feel comfortable enough to volunteer that information. It took me nearly a month. And Tom gave me his phone number first, which I used to do a background check, and found out that he was who he said he was. Going to meet him, which we did at a large, busy mall, was scary, but my friends knew where I was going and one called me on my cell to check if things were going all right. Looking back, I see it took courage on both of our parts. When you put yourself out there like that, you risk rejection.

    If I had not followed my therapist's assignment that night, I would have missed out on so much joy. We are so happy. I have found my soulmate.

    Bette 

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited May 2009

    Got a very soft pink(for bc) teddy bear from Tom today to celebrate ONE rads to go.

    Going to spend the Memorial Day weekend with family, including niece and nephew . Joshua and Rachel give me so much joy!

    Bette 

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited May 2009

    Finished with rads and college has begun! I am enjoying my course in business communications.

    Being finished with treatment and back at school helps me feel as if there is life after IBC.

    There is a mammo and CT scan in my near future, but I am putting that on the back burner and making it a point to enjoy each day. Tom continues to be a sweetheart!

    Bette 

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  • Caseysmom
    Caseysmom Member Posts: 507
    edited June 2009

    Bette:

    Congrats on finishing rads!

    Hugs

    Laura

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  • karenn
    karenn Member Posts: 35
    edited June 2009

    Beautiful wedding day!  Wishing you and Tom much happiness and a long healthy future.  You deserve it! 

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited June 2009

    Another birthday came and went on June 8. I am rejoicing in another year of life.

    I don't know what IBC holds for me this year, but I am making each day count.

    Bette 

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  • Caseysmom
    Caseysmom Member Posts: 507
    edited June 2009

    Bette:

    Happy Birthday!

    Hugs

    Laura

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  • sushanna1
    sushanna1 Member Posts: 764
    edited June 2009

    Happy Belated Birthday. 

    Sue

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited June 2009

    Today was the one year anniversary of my dx with IDC. It was not until August that we learned it was IBC. I am looking back at the year and thankful to be here, and very thankful for Tom, who was just a good friend when BC entered my life. Now he is my husband, lover, soulmate and support.

    I had a CT scan today to investigate a spot on my left lung. Tom was in the waiting room praying. Tomorrow he takes me to the ENT doc to investigate my continued dizziness. It is so wonderful to have a companion in all this. In this I rejoice.

    Bette 

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  • TenderIsOurMight
    TenderIsOurMight Member Posts: 4,493
    edited June 2009

    I am/drawn to your title of this thread each time I see it, Bette. How very true. Then I read your history and felt like a window of you opened up clearly for all to see. You are a woman of great fortitude. You are a mentor of living with disease in the moment. I am thankful you grace this forum with your presence and admire you.

    Congratulations on getting to one year, on your and Tom's marriage. I wish you many more years together, and if strength and true grit plays a role in this disease, it bolds well for you.

    Tender 

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited June 2009

    Bonnie and Tender, thanks for the prayers and good wishes!

    The ENT doctor could not find a cause for my dizziness and ordered more tests.

    I should find out about my CT scan tomorrow.

    God is my refuge and strength!

    Bette 

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited June 2009

    I needed God's peace today, as the oncologist called to say I need a PET scan. the CT scan showed a lung lesion and enlarged lymph nodes in my chest.

    Tom has taken the night off to be with me, and we will celebrate my one year survival with ice cream tonight.

    IBC is not going to steal our joy!

    Bette 

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  • sushanna1
    sushanna1 Member Posts: 764
    edited June 2009

    Oh Bette--Hang in there.  We will be thinking about you.

    Sue

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited June 2009

    Ice cream time! I got a machine for my birthday and we just made Cookies N Cream that Tom proclaims "better than store-bought".

    Even with the bothersome test results, there is room for ice cream, and JOY.

    Bette 

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited June 2009

    The PET scan is not until next Saturday. No use worrying. What is there is there.

    Tom an I just enjoyed chicken and homemade biscuits for supper. I find a lot of JOY in baking for people I love.

    Bette 

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited June 2009

    In the face of uncertainty about my health, my tendency has been to shelve any plans for the coming months. Tom, however, has shown confidence in our ability to make it through: he put money down on the dining room furniture I have been wishing for and made reservations for a weekend retreat in NOVEMBER.  He is reminding me not to postpone life, or joy

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  • NYmom60
    NYmom60 Member Posts: 44
    edited June 2009

    Your husband sounds like a wonderful man. Enjoy your dining room furniture and look forward to that retreat in November. You are both in my prayers.

    Monika 

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited June 2009

    Tom is a wonderful man. I am blessed to have in my corner.

    Bette 

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited June 2009

    Today I went to church while Tom rested from his night shift nursing job. The theme of the message was from the Bible book of Philippians where joy is one of the themes. The pastor said that joy does not depend on what happens; it depends on knowing and serving God. Therefore, whatever happens with my PET scan report, Tom and I will rejoice.

    Bette 

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited July 2009

    PET scan showed three areas of possible cancer. A biopsy is next on my schedule. If it is stage IV disease, the treatment may be hormonal or chemotherapy. I have to stop taking Femara due to side effects.

    Right now, I am at DD's home in Baltimore, resting up for a day at the Avon Foundation Breast Center at Johns Hopkins tomorrow. Emotionally I feel numb. I am making an effort to praise God for all the good things in my life, including Tom, family and friends.

    We plan to continue to live life to the fullest each day. Cancer can no still our joy!

    Bette

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  • Caseysmom
    Caseysmom Member Posts: 507
    edited July 2009

    Bette:

    This disease sucks big time.  Keeping you in my prayers.

    Sending lots of love and hugs!  Good luck tomorrow

    Laura

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  • hollyann
    hollyann Member Posts: 2,992
    edited July 2009

    Bette lots of gentle hugs and wishes for B9 results!.......May I just say.....CANCER SUCKS!.....

    Keeping you in my thoughts an prayers........

    Bette I  wish my hubby were more like yours...Mine is such a downer..he swears we are going to be financially ruined and lose everything.....This only makes me cry and feel like a big burden to everyone......... He suffers from depression.....Maybe I could have you and your hubby and all my sisters here pray for him to get him out of this funk???........Thanks a bunch!......

    I won't let him rob me of my joy by the way.....I have lost too much with this disease as it is.......

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  • hollyann
    hollyann Member Posts: 2,992
    edited July 2009

    I have a story to tell of my daughter today at the water park.....They have an indoor pool with diving boards and she thought she would be smart and go dive (she's 17 by the way)....Well she jumed up with her hands together over head like she was going to dive straight in ...NOOOO.....She bounced, did a 360 and landed on her BACK!......After I found out she was ok I laughed my butt off!........I said you need to just go sraight in not bounce and she sad Mommy that's the way I wanted it to go!.......

    Kids!...Gotta love 'em!......And hubby wonders why I am partially premature gray!...LOL

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  • NYmom60
    NYmom60 Member Posts: 44
    edited July 2009

    Bette: I am praying that those areas are not cancer and am praying for peace and strength for you and your husband. 

    Hollyann: Kids sure can make your hair turn gray. Doesn't matter how old they are either. My oldest is almost 25 and I still worry! Praying your husband gets the help he needs for his depression. My husband has many down days also but he would never admit to needing some help. He has never dealt with stress all that well so my diagnosis has only added to it. Sometimes it seems like this is all harder on him than me.

    Prayers and hugs,

    Monika 

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  • sushanna1
    sushanna1 Member Posts: 764
    edited July 2009

    Bette--Good luck tomorrow.  And enjoy Independence Day.

    Sue

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  • TenderIsOurMight
    TenderIsOurMight Member Posts: 4,493
    edited July 2009

    Dearest Bette,

    Prayers for you as you go through a long day tomorrow. I'll keep you at the forefront of my thoughts, and hope for negative results as well as continued faith and strength as you walk this journey with your loving spouse. I hope you feel our support, for while individually we're strong, collectively, we're stronger and I believe this helps us all so very much especially during these difficult times.

    Tender

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  • LoriL
    LoriL Member Posts: 185
    edited July 2009

    Bette,

    I don't have IBC, but I stumbled onto your post as I am doing my daily "late night reading" that has become common place since being diagnosed with ILC. I just wanted to let you know that I said a prayer for you this evening. Oh, how I love your heart and attitude! Though I don't know you personally, I can tell from your post that you are a gem and I'm so happy that you found another gem in your husband. God bless you both!!

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited July 2009

    Positive and encouraging visit to Johns Hopkins today. Things are not as bad as I imagined. I still may be able to get reconstruction in six months. My mammo was clear!

    We are staying in Baltimore one more day as the biiopsy may be scheduled tomorrow.

    Bette

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