Does anyone wear their wig all the time?

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Sandals
Sandals Member Posts: 104

Hi, I'm due to start chemo on June 30th and I'm wondering if anyone wears their wig all the time?  I really hope to not rely on scarves that much but think that may be difficult.  I don't mind wearing my scarf around the house but to the outside world, I'm not so sure about.

I just got married this week and am feeling a little vain :-)

Comments

  • konakat
    konakat Member Posts: 6,085
    edited June 2009

    I wore my wig all the time outside of the house.  Sometimes in the house if I felt like dressing up for my boyfriend.  It isn't vain at all, it's a matter of personal choice and comfort in how you look.  Also, I just didn't want to look like a cancer patient and have people look, comment, or ask questions.

    I also bought a few fun wigs -- hot pink and a red one with devil horns for playful times at home too!

    And, congratulations on your marriage!!

    Elizabeth

  • christa0329
    christa0329 Member Posts: 21
    edited June 2009

    I bought a wig and wore it once, it was hot and itchy.  Since I started chemo in January it was cold so I wore hats most of the time, however my hair didn't start growing until July, so it got  too hot to wear a hat and I went without most of the time, it did have to be careful of getting sunburn and wore a baseball cap most of the time. 

    The anticipation of losing my hair for me, was much worse than actually being bald.  I think I cried daily until it started to fall out and then my now husband, boyfriend at the time shaved my head and I shaved his.  Good Luck & congratulations on getting married!!!

  • Sandals
    Sandals Member Posts: 104
    edited June 2009

    Thank you Elizabeth.

    I hope to wear mine until my hair grows back about two inch's which is a long time from now  I work for a large multinational and not sure I can face too many people talking about the cancer. 

    I suppose I won't know until my hair is out how comfortable/uncomfortable it will be to wear the wig but I'm hoping its comfortable and I can get through this cancer stage without too many heads turning and comments being made.

    It toughens you up a bit I think, even having the cancer and how your so called "friends" react but to colleagues in work, I want to make my life as easy as possible and I'd rather not have to talk about it.

    I have scarves with a fringe that I can tie on to some hairbands and wear underneath but would rather just use that for either going out to family's houses or being at home.

    This chemo is hanging over me like a grey cloud and just can't wait for Tuesday to start getting this stage over with.

    Thank you for your reply.

  • Sandygirl
    Sandygirl Member Posts: 55
    edited June 2009

    Congratulations on your marriage.  I started this journey just as you, even though I have been married for 30 years,  (We spent our 30th anniversary at the hospital for my lumpectomy instead of a romantic weekend in a cabin) I felt the same about my hair.  I told my husband he would never see me without hair.  He always told me it did not matter to him, but it did matter to me.   A few weeks after  losing my hair, he told me to take off the scarves and the wig.  I tried it and guess what it did not matter to me or him .I found it helpful to take pictures of me at the different stages of hair loss, there are some pretty funny ones, I have been known to have a sick sense of humor. I had all my children try my wig on and took pictures of them, it is a beautiful collage that reminds me of their support.  I had a beautiful wig that I have been complimented on so many times, I wore it in public but would not wear anything at home. I even had a hairdresser stop me in the grocery store and ask me where I got my hair done, he just loved the color and the style, I could not stop laughing.  My last chemo was in January and I am sporting a very short do that I skrunch on top, I like it, but would have never considered it before.  As you can see we all deal with this differently.  I guess my advice is to do what is comfortable for you, you will know what is right for you.  Good luck.     

  • konakat
    konakat Member Posts: 6,085
    edited June 2009

    You'll probably want to get rid of the wig before you have 2 inches of hair.  You'll be surprised how cute you look when your hair starts to grow back and is only 1/2 inch long.  Actually, I thought I was not bad bald, but I never showed my bald head -- just in case I was wrong!

    I also recommend a wig with a fringe -- it can disguise the lack of eyebrows!  No one noticed that mine were gone -- the bottom of the fringe just grazed where my brows were supposed to be.

  • brewer2
    brewer2 Member Posts: 15
    edited June 2009

    I wear my wig virtually all the time.  I wear it whenever I go outside.  Its enough that we are reminded about our cancer everytime we look in a mirror.  There is nothing vain about not wanting to wonder if people are looking at you.  Get the best wig you can afford.  Human hair costs more but will last several years.  The synthetic ones have to be replaced.  I wash and and style moy own wig with good quality salon products and my curling iron.

    I also put womens rogaine on my eyebrows.  Seemed to help.

    I finished my chemo 2 months ago and my closest friend at work....we share a desk, said "at least you didn't loose your hair!"

  • Debonthelake
    Debonthelake Member Posts: 244
    edited June 2009

    Hi,

    I got a really cute wig.  It looked very cute on.  But I also wear glasses so for me it was a lot like wearing two pair.  It's not too bad, but, I learned how to wrap a turban with pretty scarves.  I loved the look.  Being a bit of an old hippie and a bit ecentric.  The turbans worked well for me.  I'm not sure my Mom was crazy about them but, I got lots of compliments about "my hats".  

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited June 2009

    Congrats on your wedding!!! and it's OK to feel vain.   I bought a wig the same color as my hair had been, had it cut just like my hair was and I have never worn it.  My advantage is I don't work so don't have to look professional every day.  I wear scarves and hats (from Headcovers.com - a great website) with scarves tied around them.  I thought I would wear the wig but I have found out that the wig just seems to make being bald worse.  Every time I have put it on it just makes me realize that the hair is fake and not mine and would rather have none than the "faux" hair.  Everyone is different and you just have to roll with it to make it as bearable as possible.  I was always the girl with her hair done and make-up done so the hair has been the worse part for me.  I think that if I could have kept my hair this all would've so much more bearable.  Your husband will think you are beautiful no matter what as mine tells me that each and every day.  Funny thing I never realized what a perfect head I had until there was no hair on it.  I'm on the down slide now as finishing up chemo in a few weeks and looking for new growth any day as some have seen growth during their last 4 tx.  Looking back on these last months it has gone fast as it will for you too - sometimes during it, seems like it would never end but it does.  My thoughts are with you and you'll make it to the end too.  Just keep fighting through and keeping your eye on the prize!  HUGS, Dawn

  • KerryMac
    KerryMac Member Posts: 3,529
    edited June 2009

    I wore my wig all the time too! I thought when I started Chemo I wouldn't even buy one, I really thought I would wear hats and scarves and that would be OK. But, once my hair fell out I thought differently! I felt so sick and so consumed by the chemo, and looking "sick' didn't help. So I bought a wig, and wore it pretty much constantly, except in bed. I live in Canada, and it was winter, so getting hot wasn't an issue, now the weather is warmer I melt in it....

    I am about 2 months out of chemo now, and am trying to be brave and go out with the short hair, but I am still not brave enough and still usually wear a hat!

  • mmm5
    mmm5 Member Posts: 1,470
    edited June 2009

    HI ladies

    I wore my wig all the time except at home, hated losing hair more than breasts. I know that seems odd but it made me feel like a cancer victem with no hair. Anyway hair grows much slower while on Herceptin so once I had about an inch or so of growth I went and got some extensions just around the face so I didn't have such short bangs and it made all the difference. When I was done with a year of Herceptin I wanted to be DONE and not be reminde by my short masculine hair. Now it is short but longer pieces in front and I use a lot of cute headbands makes me feel like I am actually having a style.

  • EGAL
    EGAL Member Posts: 539
    edited June 2009

    I personally never went out without my wig.  I didn't want to draw attention to myself and have people know I was a victim of cancer.  It took a while to get use to it (I always thought people were staring at me in the beginning) but it was so easy to just draw on my eyebrows, put on the wig and off I went.  I wore a style different from my "regular" hair which has always been short and brown.  The wig was a little longer, with goldenish highlights, and I could wear a scarf as a headband to match my clothes.  People loved it and said I should wear my hair that way when it grew back.  I didn't as it was too much work growing it out.  I bought 2 of the same ($40.00 each) through the ACS magazine and they were sythetic, easy to wash and no need to style, it would just go right back to the right way.  Just one hint...DO NOT wear when you are cooking.  Especially, near the oven, it can go POOF :)  I wore a brown knit cap around the house in the winter and a bandana in the summer. 

  • DianeRude
    DianeRude Member Posts: 7
    edited June 2009

    I bought a wig and only wore it twice. People would say "your wig looks good, and natural" if it looked "natural" then you wouldn't know it was a wig!! It felt like a hairy hat! I used scarves and hats. At home I got used to going without. I'd even forget I was bald and answer the door! boy would the person be shocked! I would get so hot with scarves and hats too (hormone deprivation) and in the end I would even take them off as I drove around town. While it was growing back, about 1/4 inch long, my husband and I were shopping and a clerk asked "how can I help you gentlemen, today" I turned around and she was mortified to see that I was a woman. I laughed and tried to convince her that I wasn't offended - that if I was worried, I would have worn a scarf. Mostly, you just have to have fun with it and not take things so seriously! Good Luck!

  • Mocity
    Mocity Member Posts: 451
    edited June 2009

    I wore mine the whole time and am still wearing it!  I finished chemo in Jan09 and have about 2 inches of hair.  It is SO hot here in Houston too.  I will probably ditch it soon but I hate how I look and dont like the looks I get.  At home I dont wear it or with close friends.  When I was bald I wore it all the time.  You do what you need to do to get through it.  Everyone is different.  My hair seems to be coming in but I am also doing the year of herceptin and wont be done with that till Nov09.

    MMM5, I am curious about your extensions.  I feel like if I had bangs and this looked more like a hair style (although a bad one) I would feel better.  Did you just get extensions for bangs??

  • HollyHopes
    HollyHopes Member Posts: 497
    edited June 2009

    I bought a very expensive ($400) 'hair prosthesis' - WIG (!) and wore it exactly two times....once for about half of my son's high school graduation...it was too hot and once on my first day back at work.  I hated it.  I went 'commando' - no wigs, no hats or scarves and felt fine, proud and strong.  Every one should do whatever is right for her...and then forget about everyone else...

    love and hugs to you...

  • lovinmomma
    lovinmomma Member Posts: 1,879
    edited June 2009

    I never wore a wig. i had winter hats, I had lots of scarves and bandanas and noiw I do baseball hats. My hair is about 1 inch long now.

    Congrats on the wedding!!!

  • mary6204
    mary6204 Member Posts: 373
    edited June 2009

    I wore my wig for 8 months; in public and around the house.  Then I wore a sleep cap to bed at night.  I got a good wig that could breath and it never itched.  My husband loved it cause I could get ready quicker.  Everybody loved my wig and most people didn't think it looked like one.  You should do whatever you feel comfortable with and for me it was to wear a wig.

     Although it didn't bother me having it, I sure love having my hair back!!!  Good luck and God Bless, Mary

  • smithlme
    smithlme Member Posts: 1,322
    edited June 2009

    Congratulations on your marriage! I bought a wig and wore it twice. Once to my wedding, we got married 2 months after chemo ended, and to have my picture taken when I had my name changed on my drivers license. They actually made me have a new picture taken, wig, chemo weight and all.

    I worked in the Corporate World and when I went back to work I wore scarves all the time. The wig was so uncomfortable and not me. My friends and co-workers knew I had cancer and our vendors never asked. Whether they asked behind my back or were told prior to meetings, I never knew. At home I wore scarves or went without. You'll find what works best for you...

    Linda

  • carolinachick
    carolinachick Member Posts: 387
    edited June 2009

    I have two synthetic wigs and a wide array of scarves and bandannas.  I wore the wigs mostly to work and for evenings out, and have received compliments on my "hair" from people who didn't know they were wigs.  I have pretty much given up the wigs now, as it is getting hot here in SC.  As for the people who stare when I'm out in my scarves, it doesn't bother me at all.  I figure that it's good for everyone to see a strong, functioning woman who happens to be fighting cancer.

  • kane744
    kane744 Member Posts: 461
    edited August 2009

    I bought four wigs.  Hated them.  Hot, itchy, generally uncomfortable.  Lost my hair in winter so I had to keep warm.  Went to Burlington Coat Factory and bought a bunch of beautiful hats, highly decorated with net, feathers, sparkles, etc.  Still found them uncomfortable cause my scalp hurt.  One day in a restaurant I decided I was tired of hiding and what was there to be ashamed of anyway.  Took it off and went the rest of the time bald except to sleep.  I met so many wonderful women who had gone through bc or who had family or friends who did.  I could never get my errands done quickly I was stopped and hugged and talked to so much.  It was truly uplifting,  My hair has come back but I love it short short short.  So easy.  I've kept all but one of my wigs just in case!  Although I cried when I lost my hair (actually it was shaved when I started losing it) and couldn't look at myself for a bit, I came to view my baldness as a personal badge of courage,

  • cmharris59
    cmharris59 Member Posts: 496
    edited August 2009

    Just my two cents... I lost my hair twice (had three rounds of chemo - 2 made me lose my hair). Before I lost my hair, I went out to a wig shop and bought 5 wigs. I decided that I was going to have some fun with at least part of my tx. I ended up with 14 wigs. I did not buy really expensive ones; in fact, some were very cheap. They were for fun. No one realized that they were wigs. I had blonde ones, brown ones, red ones, black ones, long ones, short ones, medium length ones, and orange ones (think 5th Element girl). Of course, the orange ones were obvious wigs.

    I also had hats, scarves, and went out bald a few times. Wigs with bangs look more natural but a billed or brim hat with a bang-less wig looks good.I had a great long wig that was close to my pre-chemo hair. It had no bangs and I wore it with a straw narrow cowboy hat and it looked great! I had tons of compliments on that look. 

    I live in a small town. I did not feel comfortable with people giving me the cancer patient? look. Besides it was fun to be able to take on a different personna. I didn't work much through first tx because of depression, multiple appts, and se's. But even though a lot of people at work knew that I was going through tx, I did not feel comfortable being bald around them. Instead, it was fun to see them try to figure out what color hair I would have next. After my second round, my rad techs were taking bets on what color hair I would have each day.

    Even after my hair started to grow back, I wore the wigs. I waited until my hair was about 3/4"-1" long before I went out regularly without a wig. It may have been even longer.

    Once, I went in for a chemo tx and my nurse said she thought she saw my brother driving my car one day. I said, "oh, that's impossible; my brothers live hundreds of miles from here". So she proceeds to tell me that she saw a guy that looked like me driving a car like mine. Remember this is a small town.  I thought for a minute and asked if the guy was bald. She said yeah come to think of it he was. I said "Pat, that was me without my wig!" LOL

    So they can be lots of fun, too.

    C

  • yellow
    yellow Member Posts: 15
    edited December 2009

    I havent been wearing my wig.  I usually just walk around with my bald head or wear a hat when its cold. I get a lot of complimets on my bald head. But i do want my long curly hair back.

  • Sandals
    Sandals Member Posts: 104
    edited January 2010

    Well hopefully I'll never have to worry about wearing a wig again!  I'm just about to bin it! My hair is short now but growing back thank God.  A lot has happened since I posted this subject and I'm slowly getting my life back :-)  Thank you all for your responses.

  • ruthbru
    ruthbru Member Posts: 57,235
    edited January 2010

    Glad you hair is growing back! That is the best, most 'normal' feeling (and you never have another 'bad hair day'). I still keep my wig in a box in the cupboard, because I'm afraid if I get rid of it something bad will happen! Superticious, yes. I always wore it when I was out; and here is a tip for other vain people like me who don't want to be 'caught' wigless: even when I was home I'd drag a bath towel with around me, and if someone rang the doorbell unexpectedly and I didn't have time to get my 'hair' on, I'd wrap it around my head so it would look like I had just washed my hair.

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