first chemo done
Comments
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I know what you mean.....
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Hi ladies - I'm back! I took a few days off from thinking about breast cancer. It was nice.
Yesterday I did my first Herceptin-solo treatment. I am surprised to report a mini-ass-kicking - sore throat, acne, sore glands, and runny nose. Oh, and a nosebleed. I feel like a teenager coming off the wrestling mat with a head cold. I can't wait until October 4th when I don't have to go to that damn chemo chair every single freakin' week.
You know, the TCH wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Days 3, 4, and 5 were the worst; felt like I had a hangover (but no beer, sadly). By day 6, Sunday, I was ready to eat a horse and almost did.... my elderly mom wanted to go to Cracker Barrel - well, okay, Mom. I'm normally an organic oatmeal and fruit kind of girl, but I ordered - and ate - 3 eggs, 2 pieces of ham, a mug of apple cider, and SIX pieces of toast. I was ravenous and it felt SOOOO good to devour meat. MEEEEAAAATTTTT... I"m gonna get fat.
- Janet, thanks for asking after me! Your wig story is funny - I'd probably spend $100 on my mom or husband just to test out the wig, too. I am glad you found one that works for you. I tried on several and felt like Bea Arthur - even the hipper ones looked weird on me. I think I'm going to go for scarves.
- Cruise and Ikat... I am getting hit with the acne fairy. I'm soon to be joined by the hairless fairy, I'm sure....
- Chelev, is it the radiation that's keeping you hairless? My husband lost his eyelashes to an infection and they've not grown back. If you get the 'script, let me know if it works? He'd be even cuter with eyelashes!
- Jill, GI bummer beats a heart bummer. But I'm still bummed for you. Tummy stuff sucks because there's just so damn MUCH stomach and intestine. I mean, wow, there's a lot there to deal with.
- Kristi, I'm so sorry about the osteoporosis. That's one of those long-term pain in the ass things to deal with. LIke Jill, I'm curious... does this have something to do with your chemo?
- Deb from Ohio - my mom has 2 Bassets!
Well, ladies, I'm going back to my work stuff. I can telecommute which is a huge blessing on days like today. Thanks for being here - it's so nice to not feel alone through all of this.
Love you!
Laura
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Hello, Ladies !
Laura's post was too good not to weigh in.
Laura - Uhm... forgot to warn you about the acne, although I am pleased to see my "appetite roaring back" warning was completely accurate. Damn.. you brought some memories back with that one. I had the same phenomena - no appetite, no appetite, and then BAM! Everyone get out of my way and don't get between me and the food. The craving was always meat. As for herceptin, I get the damn acne too with that drug. That, and a runny nose for like three days. On the once every three weeks regimen, all the side effects go away in about a week for me. But, my teen age daughter and I commisserate nicely that one week.
As for eyebrows and eyelashes - I thought I was in the clear until mine popped out about a week AFTER chemo was over. Figures. The only good thing is that just like my appetite, they came roaring back. They were the last to pop out and the first to come back. The other thing that is weird is that over the past 10 days or so, my hair has decided to have a mind of its own and it is kinking up all over the place. I have NO control over it. I have never had curly or kinky hair my entire life until now. I need to put a new picture up here. I went to group yesterday and everyone commented on it, because these ladies see me every week. So, imagine their surprise when I show up with curly hair when it has not been that way at all - until now. Weird.
About my stomach... the good news is that the biopsy showed no bacteria - that means no ulcers ! So... me and Prilosec will be best friends for a while. I am pretty pleased this is all the issue is.
I go for herceptin tomorrow morning, along with my doctor appointment. So, you can count on me sleeping it off tomorrow afternoon. Got a number of questions for my doc about the bone thing. I will let you all know what I find out.
Take care all !
Jill
P.S. I have lost about 5 pound over the last couple of weeks - and yes, have been gently working at it. So, pretty proud of that too !
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I'm with you too! My hair seems to want to start growing, but the brows thinned waaay out and went gray. Now that I'm using the follicle booster, there are small hairs slowly coming back, but I've got those wild ones that are determined to grow in their own direction and I'm using brow wax after the pencil and powder to fill them in to tame them. Lashes are another story. One lone lash on the bottom of my left eye, a few on the bottom of the right eye, and spotty on both top lids. Thank goodness for eyeliner pencil! But, if I went out of the house first thing in the morning . . . nothing on my head and my face all bald . . . wooooooo, that would scare people!
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Jill, the idea of your eyelashes coming roaring back is a startling one. Need a lawnmower?
So glad your tummy isn't infected. Paul (my DH) had a viral inflammation of his stomach lining and he was really miserable for months, so I really understand what you're going through. Oddly, massage and acupuncture helped him - We think it's because he found them both deeply relaxing. Can't hurt.
And - put up that new picture with your curly hair! I swear I'll put up my bald one once I have it.
Chelev, have you tried fake eyelashes? I'm wondering if I should buy some just in case, or if they're even worth it. You sound like you've become an expert on this issue...
I have a huge zit right in the middle of my nose.
Hugs,
L.
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Laura -
After my herceptin today, let's have a zit comparing contest. We can play "connect the dots" on our respective faces.
Actually, they will start to show up tomorrow.
Jill
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Laura - haven't tried them yet - was planning on going to Ulta or some place to find some and see if I can manage to get them on straight. Ought to be interesting!
I'm not on hereceptin, but I know the chemo ravages are almost finished, because my face, which normally breaks out a little on my chin from stress, was break-out free during all of the treatments, but I got my first zit this week. Yeah (?).
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Wow...now zits...its amazing what we can get through this journey...
I have 6 eyebrow hairs on my left eye and about 9 on my right eye and the lashes are no better. This is sad...
Yesterday while getting my nails done I got a phone number for a gal who can do permanent facial eyebrows...not sure what color to have them done since I am going gray on my head hair and when I dye it...it will be sort of dark copper coffee brown with gold highlights. I am really tired of penciling in my brows and when I perspire it smuges off...SUCKS in other words...ao whats a girl to do....
Right now I am dealing with RAD burns and open sores under my boob...You have probably heard this song....
- Do your boobs hang low...do they wobble to and fro...can you tie them in a knot...can you tie them in a bow....lalalala
Well that describes how my boobs look and so there is an open wound underneath which the rad nurse says happens to most rad patients. I now have pads and Aquafor all over them...and 9 more sessions to go... LIFE is good?
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Good afternoon, Ladies !
Back from my herceptin and sleeping off the Benedryl. Truth be told, my dog woke me up. So, if I still seem a little woozy, you will know why. Trust me - no alcohol involved.
Got to tell you this story, though. My doc really tried to pull a fast one on me today. I had an appointment before treatment, and as usual, I had my questions all ready. I mentioned to her that the lingering joint pain (especially in my knees) had me concerned that I may becoming dependent on some pain killers, especially when it comes to sleeping. She mentioned to me that in my case, she had been monitoring what scrips she was giving me and that she was not concerned with my level of usage. She said the patients that she worries about are the ones that say things like "I lost my prescription" or mention needing a new scrip when she is leaving the room or when they are in the treatment center. (Now.. remember that last one).
She then mentioned that because I am doing so well, why don't we plan on treatment in THREE weeks, but not seeing her until SIX weeks. I had been seeing her every three weeks. I say.. ."Great ! ". I felt like I was being promoted.
Then... as I was in the treatment waiting area waiting for her to get my file and orders to them, she surprises me and sits down next to me. And says.."Oh.. and one more thing... here is a prescription for Tamoxifen. Since your heart checks out, I want you to start taking this". Grrrr... she KNOWS how I feel about taking Tamoxifen, but figures (I think) I won't argue with her in public. I make a cranky face and tell her that I don't think I am getting that filled (and I did not). She asks me if I have made up my mind. I say "Yes" and start to give all my reasons - AGAIN. She says.. I want you to think about it. And then pulls out the orders and says, "because you are thinking about it, I will schedule you to see me in THREE weeks." And smiles sweetly at me. She "demoted" me again because I won't take tamoxifen ! I told her that was just plain sneaky. She smiles sweetly. I told her she better have her reading glasses when I see her in three weeks because she will have a lot to wade through with me on this one. That just cracked her up. She said she would expect nothing less from me. By this time the staff was cracking up at the two of us.
Anyway, gotta give that woman credit for moxie. The battle lines are drawn. Next appointment ought to be interesting.
Jill
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Hi Kristi!
I have osteoporosis too, but knew about it 8 years or so before BC. I take Actonel once a week 35mg, and have had no problems at all with my stomach. I don't know why women seem to be scared of this drug! I just have to remember to take it, and not have anything to eat beforehand or for at least 1/2 hour after. The 'good" news is that when I get to that part of my treatment, the Tamoxifen is actually good for your bones. I am in the middle of chemo, then will have radiation, then Tamoxifen.
Hope this helps,
Sue (furryquilt)
I am in San Diego too! June Gloom...
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Hi all,
I haven't been posting, but I have been reading -
Chelev, Kaidog, Ikat and Cruise - Between zits and missing eyebrows and eyelashes, I don't know who I feel worse for! And then we have...
Jill - who may be in jail for assault on her onc after her next appointment!
As for me, I am getting ready for my last AC (#4) tomorrow...you all got me through the last one when I was so worried that I would end up in the hospital again, so I ask for your good thoughts again for this one. In three weeks I start the 12 week Taxol/Herceptin...but I won't worry about that for a while yet.
I did one of the hardest things (hard for me) last week. I asked for a meeting with my bosses and told them I will not come back to work until at least the Taxol is over - I had originally told them I would return after 2 A/C treatments, but as I've thought about this, I can make it financially (have a very good disability policy), and for one of the only times in my life, I am going to put myself first. I am not going to go through all of this and put additional stress on myself for no other reason than to be a "good employee" - enough of that c**p, already. Me first - I deserve it!
And so do we all
Geri
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Hi,
GERI: Good luck with your 4th A/C treatment. I'll be thinking and praying for you. Remember your ice chips!
JILL: Oh my god, you are too funny! I can't believe you got into a debate with your doctor. You are probably the highlight of her day..as you.keep her on her feet!
CRUISE: I'm sorry about the sore boobs. Keep in mind how close you are to the finish line. How long have you been out of chemo?
Yesterday, I had a consultation with a plastic surgeon about reconstruction. Unfortunately, he only does implants. There is one more procedure I want to find out about which is called a DIEP flap but he doesn't do it. I made another appt for a doc at University of Pennsylvania for a consult and this is supposed to be the "top doc" on this procedure. After I talk to him, I'll make my decision which way to go. Good lord, you all know how indecisive I was about hair....how will I EVER decide on BOOBS!
Janet
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Jill, You're hilarious. I guess you've got just enough ER for your doctor to think it's worth needling (ha ha) you about the Tamoxifen, eh? I have a feeling this will be a "who can outstubborn who" contest and you will likely win.
Geri, you need to take care of yourself. I hope your workplace is a civilized one that supports your need to be healthy!
Janet, I looked into flaps and, for me, they seemed like too much surgery and too much recovery and too much scarring. I got implants and I'm quite happy with them, so if you decide to explore that route, PM me and I'll send you pictures of my girls.
Hugs,
L.
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Hi Ladies...
Jill the WARRIOR....you should ask her why she is so persistent on you taking Tamox when you are adamant about not taking it and your reasons why which I am sure you have voiced with her already...MY GOD...Its' your BODY...and then ask her if she would take TAMOX with you...bet not...
Janet...I have been out of Chemo therapy since April 23 so approximately 2 months...and yes..I have only 8 more Rad sessions to go...3 regular and 5 boosts...YIPPEEEEE...
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Hi everyone
I don't know what happened, but the post I just wrote disappered, and I'm just too damn tired to write it again. Last A/C today, went ok, just very tired tonight.
Will catch up with you all as soon as I can - and thanks for your good thoughts
Geri
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Hello, Ladies -
Well, because this is supposed to be a support thread, I am going to focus first on you all. But, I find myself with a heavy heart tonight. More on that in a minute.
Janet - What are you thinking in terms of your reconstruction after you talked with the docs ? I know, a lot to think about. But, you can do it. How you doing on the chemo train ?
Sue (furryquilt) - Nice to meet you on the thread. I know for a fact that Kristi is heading off to a vacation and will be away from electronic media for a bit. She and I talk a lot behind the scenes. So, don't be surprised if you don't hear from her for a while. She is a wonderful lady. But, feel free to pop in here any time and tell us what is going on with you.
Geri - I am thinking about you. Yea ! Last A/C over with ! Get some rest, and STAY OUT OF THE HOSPITAL ! Also, very proud of the stand you took. Damn right... you need to come first. Get through this. Work will be there when you are done.
Laura - Well... the only thing I have to say to you is that I am ahead of you on "Anna Karenina" - only because you insist on finishing "War and Peace" first. However, I learned, just like you did, that reading Tolstoy on sedating drugs is not exactly the smartest move. I suspect, however, you will motor right past me when you finally get going on Anna. I am only reading a couple chapters a night.
Cindy - Well... I hope you asked that doc about the antibiotic cream. The last 2 weeks or so on rads are the worst. The good news is that your skin will heal really quick. You will be surprised! Almost done now !
As for me... I appreciate your comments on me and my doc. I have to admit, I think BOTH of us enjoy the sparring relationship we have. I happen to know that she told a friend of mine (who was also her patient), that I am a "pistol". Now.. that particular term could be left up to interpretation. It is just that I don't feel the benefits of tamoxifen in my case outweigh the risks and side effects. Geez.. she treated me if I am ER negative (even though I am ER +, but only at 20%). So.. now that I am through all the other crap, she want to treat me as if the ER really is positive? Not buying it. That, and there have been some studies that show Tamoxifen not to be so efficacious in Her2+ women. Uhm.. I am REAL Her2+ (FISH ratio of 10.0! - about as positive as you can get). Sheesh.. don't get me going.
Anyway, not to end on a sad note, but as I mentioned earlier in my post, I have a heavy heart tonight. It is a long story, but when I was in Venezuela I created a ladies network on our work site. Great group of ladies who were a lot of fun and really there for each other. One of my ladies (and yes, after all these years, they are still "my" ladies), was found dead in her hotel room this morning while on a business trip in Mexico. No foul play involved. She was only 37, and had re-married (after a really bad first marriage) only three weeks ago. So.. kinda puts things in perspective. Hug your family members tonight.
Talk to you all soon.
Jill
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Jill - Many, many hugs to you. You are such a tremendous source of support for all of us here, and I know that support will be returned to you a thousand fold as you are dealing with the loss of your friend. It really does remind me that all of our worry about recurrence, what-if's etc. can get canceled out when you hear of an unexpected death like this. I agree, hug those we love, tell them out loud we love them, and cherish every day that we have been given. I send you a wish for peaceful healing of your heavy heart.
Geri
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Morning ladies...
Jill...so sorry to hear about your ladie friend and I am sure that your caring love was something she admired. You said she was on business in Mexico...where is her home? I know you will be reaching out to her family....sending you lots of hugs to help you get through this.
As for your doc...I would be concerned that she discussed you with another patient...hmmmm I would think that would be a conflict of interest and patient privacy no matter what was said.
Have a great weekend ladies...and hope you are SE free....
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JILL: I am so sorry about your friend. Unexpected loss hits us hardest. I am sending your cyber hugs and know that you're in my thoughts and prayers.
CRUISE: Love the new picture.
Janet
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Ladies -
Thank you for the kind words and thoughts. I appreciate it. There is a bit more news today. The autopsy determined that her death was due to an asthma attack brought on by a shellfish allergy. Evidently, she was not aware of this allergy. I have heard of cases where people develop allergies to shellfish over time, and unfortunately, she was one of those. It was very sad. She leaves behind a 9 year old daughter and a new husband.
To answer your questions, my friend lived in Venezuela, where I also lived for 7 years. She was on a business trip to Mexico City. I have taken that trip several times myself as did several of my colleagues. For nearly two years I traveled once per month from Caracas to Mexico City. It was really a drag to leave the family for one week out of every month. My kids hated it too. Every month they would ask when "Mexico week" was. Just when I stopped that, my job shifted and I ended up traveling south - Sao Paulo, Santiago, Buenos Aires, Bogata, Lima. Looking back on it now, it seems like my entire Latin American experience has mushed into a myriad of airports, overnight flights, hotels and commutes to strange offfices. I think sleeping on all those overnight flights messed up my neck/back really good.
But, our headquarters was in Caracas. I loved working there. The entire site was small and we were all very tight as we lived through a lot together (ever had to leave the office due to a presidential coup? I have.) Smart, exuberant people that had seen and lived through so much. It always struck me that apathy did not exist there. Everyone always felt passionate about everything and anything. My friend exemplified that spirit as well. Always smiling, looking forward. I will miss her.
Sorry.. got into journal mode. Anyway, Cindy, in reaction to your other point - I don't worry about what my doc may have revealed to my other friend. I actually went to this doc on her recommendation, and I am sure my friend said something like " I know Jill is seeing you now. We work in the same office" - which then evoked the comment my doc made. The funny part is that I am sure my friend agrees as to my doc's assessment of my disposition. As my friend went through the breast cancer thing (she is a 7 year survivor) before I did, she was a great source of comfort throughout, and I don't worry in the slightest about what my doc may have revealed to her. They are both on my side.
Going to bed early tonight. I did not sleep worth a darn last night. Too much on my mind and my brain would not shut up. So.. good night.
Jill
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Jill, I was once told on the passing of a very mush loved family member "That as long as you remember them, and hold them in your heart, that they will alway be alive with in you." Celebrate her life, remember her with love and joy.
I am sorry for the loss of your firend.
kathy
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Jill, so sorry to hear about the loss of your friend. Hope her family finds strength and peace, as do you.
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When my father died, I remember thinking that the only thing we take with us when we leave this planet are the ties we make to other souls. Everything else is junk.
Jill, thank you for reminding us of this. I'm so sorry for your friend's family.
Laura
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Ladies -
Thanks again for your kind words. I really do appreciate it. Slowly pulling myself out of my funk here.
I got an interesting thing that happened today. We went to pick up my son at camp this morning (and he LIKED the camp ! You have no idea how relieved we are.). Anyway, going into this camp, he did not know anyone. It is in Northern Kentucky and away from most his school mates. In his little cabin, there were 8 boys.
Interestingly, one of the other boys in his cabin revealed that his Mom was going through chemotherapy currently for breast cancer. My son does not talk much about my situation to other kids, but he told me that he did tell this boy that his Mom (me) went through the same thing with chemo, losing her hair, wearing a hat, all the sickness, etc. and how I am doing today. While it is sad that two boys could "bond" over this disease, I did take a small comfort in knowing my 12 year old son could provide hope and perspective to another boy going through this. As we were driving home, he asked me if I "minded" that he told this other boy about this - which I found kind of interesting. Of course, I reassured him that it was fine to talk about it, particularly if our experience could help another person. That seemed to relieve him for some reason.
Anyway, isn't it mysterious how things work?
Jill
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It's truly amazing how many women have gotten breast cancer in the past couple of years...there is something going on and we need to help find a way to STOP this disease.
Not to take anything away from Jill and her son who by the way is quite the brave young man...but...the first thing my granddaughters say to me is "How are you feeling today grandma?" Our children shouldn't have the burden or worry about their mothers/grandmothers health...they should be catching frogs, rowing row boats and catching fish on lakes...and for the girls ..play dress up or play with baby dolls...I know we can't hide the fact that cancer is out there...and hard to say that times have changed..but we need to help keep our children/grandchildren's innocense. The only way to do this is to help "fight the fight" so other children don't have to share their stories about their mothers.
Okay...I am now off my soapbox...
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On a much lighter note, but still concerning Jill...
I'd like to point out my new avatar. The shirt is courtesy of Jill, doing her part to "pay it forward" to a newbie. When we opened this up today, Paul and I were DYING laughing.
JILL, I LOVE IT!
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PS - it says, "Yes they're fake. My real ones tried to kill me."
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Laura - I am glad you liked it. When I saw the shirt, you were the first person I thought of. Seemed like your style. Like a giant "F--- You!" to the entire cancer experience.
Keep the faith, Baby !
Jill
P.S. I took a shot in the dark at the size. Looks like I hit it. Good thing I knew you were tall !
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Jill love the new pic!!!!!!!!!!! Look at all that hair!!!!!!!!!!
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Hi, Deb !
Thanks for the compliment. Truth be told, I was trying to get a picture taken that would show that the hair is completely out of control now. The picture does not do it justice. But, my hair was coming in nice and straight, other than this weird little cowlick on top of my head that I was mushing down with hair gel.
About 10 days ago, my hair decides to get a mind of its own and start kinking up on me. I have never had wavy hair my entire life. It just went insane, and there is nothing I can do about it. I have been getting compliments on it - and also some really strange looks. I guess the hair fun never ends. But, at least there is hair. It is still really soft too. I like that part. Could do without all the gray though.
Thanks for noticing.
Jill
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