Starting Chemo April 2009

Amyisstrong:  You are doing great...its hard but your getting it done.  Hard to watch others with different types of cancers (even ours) and know they are in such agony.  Hope the lady takes your advice. 

Welcome to all our new members..truly sorry you have to be here.  However you came to a good place with tons of love and support.

Now being 3 weeks and 2 days since my final chemo I can see some changes.   The changes are minimal but its progress.  I don't nap everyday now.  Food tastes like food again...and the sense of smell has returned to normal.  No more nose bleeds.  Hair is growing back....have short hairs that are dark, longer hairs are very light in color.  It takes some doing to see the hairs in the mirror but I can feel them.  Chemo brain seems to want to hang around.  Excessive weight isn't dropping off yet...still bloated as are my feet, ankles and legs.  I keep drinking tons of fluids.

I can now really smile and know chemo is over and done.  I remember reading postings early on of others who had finished and thinking I would never be on the other side.  It does happen...hang in there and keep getting the treatments.  Its not a cake walk but it shall pass.  Wishing everyone mild SE's and looking forward to you joining the group of cancer survivors.

With deepest respect to everyone,

Nadine

Had my last TC on 6/11, and am so thankful to be done!!  Unfortunately, I am also very impatient.  My legs, ankles, and feet are so swollen and uncomfortable, I can't seem to get to sleep at night, and now the bottoms of my feet are starting to hurt.  To top it off, I woke up this morning with a broken blood vessel in my eye.  I was quite a sight, bald, mis-matched boobs, one bright red eye, missing eyelashes, fat swollen body. 

Oh yeah, and Tammy, my fingernails hurt.  (They hurt after the 3 tx too, and I remembered the onco nurse telling me before my first treatment to wear clear nail hardner, which I've done ever since.)  I noticed the woman next to me at my treatment this last time had lost all of her nails.

Today I decided I needed to get out and do some yard work.  After watering and trimming some bushes and trees, I decided to dig out around the base of our trees. I got half-way around one tree and realized that I just absolutely could not physically do it. Finally I went in the house and just burst into tears.  I have been teary all day.  You would think with treatment being over, I would be thrilled, but I just want it to be OVER!  Like the rest of you, I want my old life back. (With hair!)

Nadine,  Now that you are a couple of weeks ahead of me, did you have any these feelings? Just wondering if this is a normal reaction; I didn't expect to feel this way.

 Hope you are all SE free and having a great summer.  Seems like everyone is having rain unless you happen to live in Seattle!

Linda

Lindagtwo:  I am with you on your posting.  I had thought once the SE's were done then all would be done.  What a sad illusion I had.  And as far as doable and tolerable....heck no on that count!  I found out when I have a burst of energy and try to work in the yard I get tired real fast.  How I would love to work in my yard like the o'l days.  So far I choose not to drive because of the sleeping medicine and depression med...don't trust myself.  And would love to ride my motorcycle but then no hair for the breeze to blow through.  I hope to ride even around the block once before summer is over and with no hair a helmet will be a must...Idaho has the helmet law only for people under 18. 

Would love to take something to help the hair grow faster but afraid at this point to take anything not approved first.

We will get through this ladies somehow.

Nadine

Helen & Nadine, Thanks for your replies.  I am better today, my DH reminded me that it's only been a little over a week, and of course the last treatment is still killing cells in my body.  I need to just take one day at a time and do what I can.  Thankfully I work at a school and will now have time off for the summer.  So instead of lamenting my old life and summer travels, I guess I'll just be thankful that I don't have to drag myself into work each day. (I was lucky to make it through a full day of work and get a simple dinner cooked, that was ALL I have been able to do for months.) Now maybe I can do something enjoyable each day instead!

Helen, I am so sorry that this is your second trip through this valley.  I have often said that if I get cancer again, I'm not sure I'll be able to face treatment a second time. That is the worst thing about this awful disease.......you can never be sure you are cured or that it won't re-occur. I take my hat off (well, maybe I shouldn't do that just yet!) to you.  Hope you have many sunny days this summer in Toronto to brighten your mood a lbit.

Nadine, where in Idaho do you live?  I have family in Boise, Coeur d' Alene, and my dad just moved from Kooskia.

 If it weren't for safety, I'd say ride the motorcycle without the helmet.  If the breeze feels that good blowing through your hair, just think of how good it would feel against your bare skin. Although I do wear a wig and hats,  I sport the bald look whenever possible!

Linda

Thank goodness I have all of you to share with.  I hate whining at home.  They told us the A/C would be the hard part, but for me, compared to this, it was a walk in the park.   I have spent the better part of the last week in bed or on the couch with three days of horrific bone pain:  Taxol, the enemy.  I am so exhausted - never before in my life have I experienced such overwhelming fatigue.  I was a busy,active,involved mother/wife/employee/friend who has evolved into someone I don't even recognize anymore.  Today, for the first time in close to a week, I tried a pilates tape and was gasping for air and needed to lie down immediately after.   I am just feeling so defeated!  If this is what the next three rounds are going to be like, will I even be able to get out of bed this summer?  Home with kids and a mother who is  a slug...... ugh......I HATE THIS!!!  (Has anyone else had secret thoughts about just quitting now)?  I want to.......  Tammy

Tammy, how many Taxol's have you had? I was really beat for the first two and thought it was a cold I had caught, but my blood counts are very low. The nurse thinks it is the AC still doing it's thing and that would explain the fatigue. I am pretty tired too, but after 3 Taxol/Herceptins, I'm starting to feel a bit better. However, this week my counts were even lower.

I haven't thought about quitting, I worry about a recurrance and think there is no way I could go through this again. And I'm completely overwhelmed at the thought of how long this will continue (Taxol through August, Herceptin through next spring and rads in the fall, not to mention the AI/Tamoxifen discussion).  It is too much!

 I just wanted you to know you are not alone. Try to get some rest when you can. I, too, have kids at home and it's discouraging since summer is here and I know they are used to me taking them places and doing fun things. This summer, that's what camp is for!

 Pam

Dawn and Pam,

Thanks for your good tips - I will try the Claritin next time.  It is certainly far healthier than the script for narcotics I had filled after the last bout!  I don't like the idea of being on heavy duty painrelievers -  I have had only one Taxol, so I need to give myself an intense attitude adjustment.  I won't be a "dropout" - I guess I just wanted to $%#^& to someone.   I will hang in until I am like Nadine - 3 weeks out and starting to see the light of day!  Thanks gals,  Tammy

Hi all... just checking in.  It's been a few weeks since I've been on.  Tx #4 last Thursday and I'm completely drained.  I have about 5-6 days that I can do virtually nothing.  It takes all I can do to walk to the bathroon and back to the couch...I'm out of breath and my hearts is beating like crazy.  I guess it is the anemia.  Does anyone else run a 99.5-100 degree temp during the week after?  

I'm also like everyone else I ready to finish this so I can feel better.  I had 5 great days right before my treatment and I think I could have acomplished anything.  I hope I have that again this time.

I'm continuing to pray for all of you and for those of you that have finished God Bless and I wish you all great health.  For the rest of us...hang on we are getting close.

I haven't taken my temperature even once since starting chemo. Am I supposed to? I thought only if I didn't feel well or something. They made a big fuss about calling if you have a fever, but they never said when to monitor it. Reading about you ladies made me realize  I have never done it. You all have a much better sense of your body temps and fluctuations than I do.  I did buy a new digital thermometer though - so it is here if needed.  Should I be checking? How often? Do you keep a running journal of readings?

Damn there is an awful lot to think about.

BUT I have to say - am on day 6 post-tx#4 and these digestive enzymes I am taking are REALLY making a difference. NO GI problems or cramping AT ALL. I am thrilled.  Of course I still feel crappy, but at least not those awful cramps. I hope it stays like this. I am very relieved.

I think I took my temp once during treatment, and when I saw the onc, I told him my temp usually runs around 97 point something, and it was 98.7 at the time.  He told me that no matter what your temp normally is, you do not have a temperature unless you are over 99. (I had a huge blister looking thing on my foot, and felt feverish and sick at the time.)  After that, I just skipped taking my temp at all.

Just wondering now that some of us are done with chemo, what are everone's plans for five year hormone blocking meds?? I am dreading the side effects of Arimidex, especially bone loss, since I have Osteopenia already. I won't see the onco for another couple of weeks, so thought I'd get some other opinions before I go!

Linda

First Taxol yesterday...It was a very long process but I felt so much better when I left than I ever did with AC.  I feel better today too!  I asked the Doctor about possible side effects and I am to call if I experience any tingling or numbness in my hands and feet...I know it is has been only 24 hours but it seems already sooo much better than the AC!  Three more to go then radation for...plus I still have to take that darn shot of Neulasta!

Speaking of people that say stupid things..My sister in law(who had breast cancer) likes to remind me every time that I talk to her that I have breast cancer...like I don't know..!  It's always in the back of my mind but I don't have to think about it ALL the time..there are too many other things to do!

Helen,

Were you post menopausal with your first diagnosis?  Did you do Tamoxifen then also?  I'm just trying to make up my mind, so other's experiences might help me with that.  I think my dr. is thinking of Armidex. I'm wondering which would be more beneficial for me, and exactly what the differences are.

Hey Lesley, I just realized that you live in Reno.  I live in Fernley and am receiving my treatment in Reno.  What oncologist do you see?

Linda

Lindatwo ... at my first diagnosis I was at early stage menopause but because bc was triple negative I was not a candidate for hormone therapy. However, because I am BRCA2+ I did have my ovaries and tubes removed to avoid ovarian cancer. Had it done at the end of chemo & rads. This second bc has a totally different pathology.

Pam, are you losing your eyelashes too?  It must feel wonderful to be at the end! Tammy

Tammy,

My eyelashes have been thinning very slowly, so I still have some, but much less than I usually do. 

 I so wish I was done with the Taxol, but I'm not. I'm one of the people who are getting weekly Taxol (with Herceptin) for 12 weeks. So 8 more to go!  It is going by fairly quickly, though. 

 My kids were talking last night about how long since I found out I had cancer and how long since I've been having chemo.  It has been awhile and even though right now it feels endless, the time does go by faster than I think it will.

I have some hair growth coming in, it's fuzzy and not all over. I don't know if this is real hair coming in or more hair that will soon fall out. I guess only time will tell.

Pam