Sad life

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hazydc
hazydc Member Posts: 8
edited June 2014 in Mental Health: Because Cancer Doesn't Just Affect Your Breasts
Sad life
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  • hazydc
    hazydc Member Posts: 8
    edited June 2009

    My life can't get any worse as I was diagnosed in Jan 09 with Breast cancer my husband is an alcoholic (not a recent development but we were working on it before diagnoses) and my daughter from a previous marriage has left because she hates my husband and they don't get on. Hubby refuses to talk about anything hard and will not accept mu daughter coming back even for a holiday.

    It all just seems hopeless and I have no idea why I still am with him or love him? To scared to leave at the moment with every thing else going on I suppose. Just feel hopeless and lost

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  • HelenaJ
    HelenaJ Member Posts: 1,133
    edited June 2009

    Oh hazydc what a story.  First of all I am so sorry about your diagnosis, are you doing radiation, chemo?  That in itself is enough to make you feel hopeless and lost, what with all the other family stuff going on I'm not surprised you are scared.  My husband isn't an alcoholic but he finds it very difficult too to talk about the hard stuff. You need to look after yourself now, you have to be the priority for awhile.  Do you have a local support group you can talk to - it really wasn't my scene before I got breast cancer, but having that little group has just worked wonders for me, it allows you to step out of your own little nightmare just for a little while and help clear the head.  Hopefully your daughter will keep in touch and will be there for you even though she isn't at home.

    I'm sorry I can't help you more but please stay here as these forums are just amazing, the women here are so loving and can really empathise.  You are not alone.

    soft hugs

    Helena

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited June 2009

    Hazydc, ditto Helena.  Please understand that you can only control your own actions.  Your hubby is an adult with his own disease and demons to fight.   Your daughter may have valid reasons for not getting along with her stepfather and since she moved out, she will have to deal with them.  At this point in your life you have to concentrate on you and having your treatments to beat this disease.  Bottom line, your hubby and daughter will have to take care of themselves.  Please don't try and be superwoman because you don't need the stress to further complicate your health.

    Please stay on these boards for emotional support as this is a very difficult time for you.  If you can find a support group to join please do that as it will get you away from time-to-time to enable you to concentrate on yourself and be among others who have travelled this journey and can keep you focused on you.

    My prayers are with you; you can and will get through this. 

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  • idaho
    idaho Member Posts: 1,187
    edited June 2009

    I am with you.  I was all prepared to leave my emotionally abusive husband and WHAM- you have breast cancer- So I couldn't.  I hope if I ever get through this I can pick up and do it.  Hang in there girl- someday maybe we can have peace.  Tami

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  • konakat
    konakat Member Posts: 6,085
    edited June 2009

    I can empathize with you Hazydc -- with your life in flux and then getting BC -- it's like treading water with no land in sight.  If it would be too hard to leave your husband, or you're not sure if you want to, don't make any quick decisions right now.  Deal with your BC and get that stable.  Once you feel in control there, then tackle your husband and daughter.  Take the time you need to do what's best for you. 

    And as the others have said, and as I have found, you'll get such support here.  We're all here for each other. 

    Elizabeth

    oxo

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