If you have just been diagnosed....

I know how you feel. It's terrible...I was diagnosed 4-2-09 and still haven't had my operation. Although I'm sad to be losing a part of me, I'm glad that I am able to get care in the hospital I will be going to. It's overwhelming I know. What did they tell you?

To all of the new gals who have recently posted here... I am so sorry that each of you is joining the club that none of us ever wanted to join, but I am glad that you've found this website for information and support. 

Tracey ~  I hope you've been able to make a decision about surgery; or perhaps you've even had it by now.  Please let us know how you're doing.

Deborah ~ Good luck with your surgery on June 2.  Did you ask your surgeon how long it will be until you start rads?   I'm not familiar with a wire being inserted for radiation.  The newest thing is mammosite radiation.  Is that possibly what you meant?

sherriz ~ I think the older generation hears "cancer" and immediately thinks the very worst.  What I found helpful was to tell everyone something like, "They found it early, and my doctors assure me that I'll be just fine after I complete my treatment."  Unfortunately, if your parents remain too negative, you'll probably have to have a heart-to-heart with them about it not helping you at all, and if that doesn't work, you may even have to limit your contact with them.  You will quickly learn on this journey that YOU are what's most important now -- not anyone else's problems or feelings.  I know that sounds harsh when it's your parents, but I have a MIL who was a bit like that, and for awhile I stopped answering the phone when she called because I just couldn't take her negativity.

got2bme ~  You have really had your hands full, but it sounds like you have an excellent surgeon and that things are on track for you now.

As makingway said, it is totally overwhelming at first -- so much so that it feels surreal.  You go through the motions, but I don't think it really sinks in until much later.  But we've all been there, and we all understand exactly what you're going through.  The best thing I can suggest is that you look for threads here that pertain to the stage you're at now.  If you will be having surgery in June, for example, there's a thread for that where you can connect with other women going through the same thing.  Those "mini groups" will become a lifeline for you, because no matter how much support you have from family and friends, no one understand the way others who are going through it or have been through it do.  Good luck to you all, and please keep us posted on your situations.  Thinking of you ~  Deanna

got2me ~ None of us ever want to believe that it's us, and sometimes that nagging little voice is hard to give our full attention to, especially when we are brought up to believe that our doctors always know what they're talking about. Unfortunately, when something like bc happens to us, we quickly learn that not all doctors are as equally gifted, and that's when we need to listen to that little voice when we're not satisfied with the answers we're getting.

I'm glad that you could help your friend, and I'm happy to know that your Mom and sister are both long-term surviviors.  I would think that would be an excellent prognosis for your situation as well.  As far as getting genetic testing, it's something the 3 of you might consider, especially if you and your sister have children.  On the other hand, so many families have a significant amount of bc and no known genetic variant.  Unfortunately, there are probably genetic factors that haven't been identified as yet.  But knowing if you carry the BRCA 1 or 2 gene could influence your treatment decisions, so you may want to ask your breast surgeon if testing is appropriate for you.   Take care ~   Deanna

Anyone have the double mastectomy with reconstruction yet??

Karen ~  So sorry you're going through this -- joining the club that none of us ever wanted to be in, as we say.  But, I'm glad you've found us, and hope we can give you some reassurance right now.  The fact that you found a lump two months after a clear mammogram is not unusual.  It happens all the time.  Unfortunately, those of us who have had bc now know that mammograms don't pick up everything.  As far as waiting too long, it might help you to know that most bc is rather slow-growing, and many times it's been there (and undetectable by any means) for a number of years -- perhaps as many as 10 -- until it becomes big enough (which can still be quite small) to be felt or seen on one of the screening modalities.   You mentioned having an ultrasound and also getting a biopsy report.  So, they must have done an ultrasound guided biopsy (???), in which case I'm not understanding why they can't tell you what kind of bc you have (???), unless they found something called DCIS (very common and usually non-invasive) and are holding out that there may be a bit of another type as well, which sometimes happens.  And have they referred you to a breast surgeon/specialist yet?  That would normally be the next step.

If you want to share some of what your biopsy says, we might be able to put some of your fears to rest.    (((Hugs)))  Deanna 

Just received pathology report a couple hours ago.  I've been diagnosed with DCIS Stage III.  I'm in shock.  Tomorrow I see a doctor at a Breast Cancer Support centre.  She will go over my options.  I don't have a surgeon yet, although my family physician has been trying desparately to get me into see someone as quickly as possible.  I suspected it was cancer, but not to this degree.  I don't know if the stats are wrong, but I've been reading survival anywhere from 50-60% 5 years out.  Is this information wrong?

Thank you for your reply.  They have referred me to a surgeon who can't see me until next thurs.  Just knowing this is in my breast makes me want to crawl out of my skin.  I just can't get a grip on myself.  Thanks for the encourage words and I will post when I get the actual pathology report.  They did do a ultrasound guided biopsy but the doc said she got a phone call the next day (yesterday) and was waiting for the report but haven't heard from her today.  I guess I'll have to wait until I'm face to face with the surgeon to get the actual diagnoses.  Thanks again!

Hi, Deb ~  So sorry that you're finding yourself joining the club that none of us ever wanted to join, but you've come to a great place for information and support.  Many women find it hard to tell people at first, and I think that's especially true if you've always taken excellent care of your body, like a dancer or an athlete.  It just seems like there's something so unfair about getting bc when you take better care of yourself than many people, and you feel like your body's let you and everyone else down.  But you'll figure out who and when to tell as you start to move through this unexpected journey.  As far as how long it will take, one of the wisest comments I read here that another woman's surgeon told her is to figure it will take a year.  That's allowing for testing, surgery, time to heal from it, chemo, time to recover from it, radiation, and time to get your energy level back to pre-treatment levels.  Depending on your exact treatment plan and schedule, it could turn out to be less than that, but then that would be a good surprise.  

And ijch ~  It's wonderful that you have 8 sisters!  I hope they're all very positive women, as they would be a tremendous support system that few women have.  On the other hand, I can see how repeating today's report on how you're doing 8 times will become exhausting for you.  Perhaps they could take turns checking in with you and calling each other, just so that they don't wear you out with their concern about you!     Deanna

Debbie ~  You will read it many times on these boards, but you are in the hardest place right now, because you know you have bc, but virtually everything else is an unknown.  Once you sit down with your breast surgeon and your oncologist and get a game plan in place, it gets so much better because you will have a better understanding of what you are dealing with, and can start to move through the necessary steps.  

You will go through many rollercoaster emotions in the coming weeks, and all of them are very normal.  If we can answer any specific questions or help in any way, please let us know.  Or if you just need  to come here for a (((hug))) we're here ~     Deanna

Hi, Debbie ~  Yes, mixed lobular and ductal features means you have 2 types of cancer cells, which is less common, but not particularly troublesome re. treating it.  I had the same thing.  I also started out with Grade 2, but it was changed to Grade 3 on my surgical pathology.  Grade refers to aggressiveness and how much the cells have changed from normal to abnormal cells.  

Getting an MRI is the next most important step, so I'm glad to hear yours is already scheduled, and that you won't have to wait too long for it.  

Also, thinking ahead to the appointments with your onc and rad onc, be sure to arrange to have someone go with you.  After a few minutes, your mind will be on overload and not fuctioning normally.  We all go through it -- it's just all so surreal when you're newly diagnosed.  Best to have a spouse, close family member of close friend along to pay attention and even take notes, so that they can tell you later what you missed -- and you'll be surprised how much that is!

Let us know if you have any other questions, or if there's anything else we can help you with right now ~  Deanna 

Hi Anita - so sorry you have been diagnosed, but here is a very good place to find info, make great new friends who will help you, and also let off steam when you need to.

 I was diagnosed on May 9th 2009 with IDC.  Here in London some of the procedures are done a bit differently to the USA, but I too am big breasted and so you and me are both a bit lucky because it does give a bit more room for the surgeon to get good margins and so on.

I don't know yet either as to whether my nodes are effected, but I have had time to research this site over the last few weeks, and there are plenty of people here who get treated and live on very well even when they do have effected nodes.

 Right now you must be thunderstruck and there is just so much to take in.  All of us go through that and I can only say that does ease up a little as time moves on.

There is a lot on this site to inspire confidence for your future - and yes, we\do have a future.

 I wish you all the very best of luck with everything -

kindest hugs, Virginia

Anita,  I had 6 cancerous lymph nodes 18 months ago and I am doing fine!  I know 18 months is not a very long time, but I feel great and am very hopeful.  When I went in for my bilateral, I was hoping against hope there wold be no cancer in my nodes, mostly because I dreaded the thought of chemo.  When the pathology came back saying the sentinel node and 5 out of 14 others were positive, I was scared out of my mind.  Not just about chemo, but about dying.  That was the day I met my oncologist and he was a great comfort to me, telling me that six positive nodes was about a middle-of-the-road amount.  That many, many people survive with lots more than that. If you look around here, you will see lots of survivors. Yes I needed chemo, and yes it was scary and it was no fun to lose my hair.  But compared to the rest of the many years I intend to live it was just a blip on the radar. 

You are going through the hardest part right now. After your surgery, when you have the results of all of your tests and you can begin on a course of treatment, you will at least know you are doing something.  The waiting is the hardest and most firghtening part.  But you can do it.  Even if the cancer has spread to the lymph nodes, you can still beat it and be strong and healthy once again. You will come out on the other side. I am proof of that.  Hang in there.  You will be in my prayers.

Angela

Anita ~  Where in the world did you get the idea that having bc in your lymph nodes is a death sentence?!  If you prowl around these boards, you will see that there are many women who have had positive nodes, have been treated, and are doing just fine.  What having bc in a lymph node means is that you will need chemo to go after the bc cells that have escaped the primary lesion.   

I'm concerned that you are worrying yourself needlessly over this.  Yes, it's a bit more serious, but NO it is not "a death sentence" by any stretch of the imagination, as long as you get adequate treatment for it.   Deanna 

I have recently been diagnosed with high grade DCIS and actually I think my welt tore apart.I have always been the one in family, that has been sick. I had my first cancer diagnosed when I was 13 years of age and now a few years away from 30 I sit here and wonder why it was me, again being diagnosed with cancer.

Naturally I try to be strong in front of my boyfriend and my family, but I think this is the right place to tell how I really feel. I am afraid, truly afraid and I do not know how to handle my anxiety, properly. I do not want to be treated as some kind of poor sick girl/woman, but on the other hand I want people to realize that I am suffering of cancer and that I may not be able to go on like before. I always used to think I was very strong, especially after recovering from the first cancer by 13, but now I have to admit that I am as anxious as I have been when I was a child, maybe evne more because I am of an age, where you realize what suffering from cancer means and to which state of life it may lead. I am afraid of dying and leaving the ones I truly love behind. I can't cope with the thought of leaving my parents behind, or my wonderful boyfriend and my beloved friends. It is hard to come to a point in life where you have to realize having it all in life, is nothing that is omnipresent and a state of perpetual luck.

I can not give up. I can not allow myself to give up, because once you have given up on cancer, the enemy, you are going to lose it all and you are not going to get it back. So I will fight for the ones I love and for myself to get salubrious again. Please pray for me, as I pray for the health of all of you.