Facing the Future

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  • EWB
    EWB Member Posts: 2,927
    edited June 2009

    I really think what matters most is the they are happy and move on, whatever that means to them, whenever it is meant to happen for them. I don't think we get too much say in the matter.

    Dream, I think it would be possible to love another as much not never the same. There is only ONE Dream and no one can ever take your place. It would be different, special in a different way, take a different place in their hearts.

  • dreamwriter
    dreamwriter Member Posts: 3,255
    edited June 2009

    I agree.  I would want that for him but he simply refuses... I wonder if he'll even look for a girlfriend.  But I think my girls will try to throw some into his path......!!!!!

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited June 2009

    Prayers going upward for you Vicki.

    Many, many H U G S!

  • Analemma
    Analemma Member Posts: 1,622
    edited June 2009

    Vicki, I'm so sorry you had bad scan results.  You mentioned it on my thread.  I've been so caught up in my own anxiety, and with worrying about the new baby coming in the midst of all the appointments, that I haven't paid so much attention to anyone else.

  • VickiG
    VickiG Member Posts: 536
    edited June 2009

    I'm feeling better today... thanks everyone for your thoughts & notes.  I think I just needed to process everything... it still sucks, but I'm more myself again.  Guess the scans really took me by surprise this time.  It's getting scary because I've been thru so many chemos, most of which have done absolutely nothing for me, so it's hard to be very optimistic about trying Abraxane... but it just could be the one that will make a difference, so I need to keep thinking that way.  Brenda, don't for a minute think you haven't been paying enough attn to anything but the baby... she absolutely should be the focus of all your thoughts now!!!!!!  I didn't mean to try to hijack your other thread anyway... sorry about that!

  • konakat
    konakat Member Posts: 6,085
    edited June 2009

    Like Debbie I never married, although I always thought I would and would have children.  It's really bothered me lately, that I failed in that way and am alone.  It's just me and my thoughts for myself, not intended for anyone else's choices/situation.  Another one of those I wish I had....

    But then my heart aches for women that have children, that they want to see their children set up in life, know that they will be fine when they're gone.  It's a no-win situation.

    On a lighter note, my boyfriend and I have a good female friend that we say has the "lizzie stamp of approval" for him to date when I'm gone.  We do what we must do to get through this.

    Having a mopey day,

    Elizabeth

  • dreamwriter
    dreamwriter Member Posts: 3,255
    edited June 2009

    Oh Elizabeth... hope your mopes disappear soon. 

  • footprintsangel
    footprintsangel Member Posts: 43,890
    edited June 2009

    Elizabeth, mopey is a ok as long as we get up and fight again

    right dreamwriter, Vicki, we all need to vent once in awhile. God

    Bless everyone here, have been very weak and tired, Going to rest

    and see if I can get my strength back.  Good luck to all, I am glad to

    see you new people and I know this feeling is normal. Take care, Debbie

  • getwell
    getwell Member Posts: 535
    edited June 2009

    Hi,

          Vickie, I am so sorry that you had such a bad week. Sounds like you have been through the mill.  I hope you can do something special for yourself this week. Something that will make you smile and forget for just a little while. My daughter and I had facials last week and for almost an hour I felt more relaxed than I have in a very long time.

          My DH can't do enough for me. Everytime I look at him I tear-up because I can't stand the thought of how alone he will feel when I am gone. I hate this whole miserable, painful, gut-wrenching time that we are going through. This I know sounds nuts but sometimes I hope I die when I am not feeling so horrific. I don't want to face the dragged-out finale.

        It is a beautiful day today so I am going to take my new pup out for a walk and watch her play with the other pups in the park. I like to go where no one knows my "story". I am rambling...sorry.

    Gentle Hugz to all......

  • EWB
    EWB Member Posts: 2,927
    edited June 2009

    Ramble away, its good for the soul...nice not to always share the big important things of our lives but also the every day mundane stuff. Feels like normal again for me.

    Have fun with the puppy--what kind? how old?

  • saint
    saint Member Posts: 1,877
    edited June 2009

    Hugs one & all---we share things here that no one else seems to understand .We know we can vent & the others here get it! I wish we could meet in person! I feel a bond with ppl here that can't be found easily in the real world!

    Vicki & anal--big hugs--I have been absent & was not here to respond to your posts in a timely manner.....

    5 rads down, 7 to go. Doing my best to ward off the se's of lower spine (& bowel) rads...currently the steroids are making my psychotic & the rads have made me a direct conduit to HELL as I am billowing clouds of sulfur into our world! 

    My good news: Yesterday at a benefit for a local man with cancer I won an auction for a week  RV rental. It is valued at over $1000 & I got it for $375  DH thought I was crazed, but now I get to check off another item on my bucket list--load 'er up & go out driving for a week...hope the rads allow us a week away now that I bought this! LOL

    Be well & stay strong 

  • Analemma
    Analemma Member Posts: 1,622
    edited June 2009

    Saint, a week is not enough!  How much more would it cost to add a second week, or a third?  You've got to go, and then you'll need to get back, too.  And while I can imagine going in a week or maybe two, there's that getting back thing.  So many places to see.

    I really, really want to get a good look at the northern lights before i leave this world.  It can't be in summer, because the daylight is too long.  So, I'm hoping for September or October.  I dont' know how far we'll have to drive from Cleveland.

  • LisaSDCA
    LisaSDCA Member Posts: 2,230
    edited June 2009

    I saw them one magical night in Maryland, the Aurora Borealis, so you may not have to travel far. It's just luck and conditions (solar winds). Of course, it's a superb excuse for a cruise!

    Lisa

  • jeanne46
    jeanne46 Member Posts: 1,941
    edited June 2009

    Oh Saint - congrats on the RV for a week.  I've ALWAYS wanted to do an RV trip.  Last time we did a road trip it was just so expensive to rent the RV (the cheap kind)  that we ended up driving our hybrid and staying in hotel/motels. Trip was fun - but I had a total fantasy about traveling and sleeping in a nicely furnished RV. I agree with Brenda - if you can extend the trip to two weeks, even better!

  • lovinmomma
    lovinmomma Member Posts: 1,879
    edited June 2009

    That is so neat Saint. RVs are great for trips.

  • footprintsangel
    footprintsangel Member Posts: 43,890
    edited June 2009

    That is wonderful Saint,  Have a wonderful time. Take care, Debbie

  • ElaineD
    ElaineD Member Posts: 2,265
    edited June 2009

    Wow-what a fantastic prize! Have a great time-you deserve it,x

  • Fitztwins
    Fitztwins Member Posts: 7,969
    edited June 2009

    RV trips rock. Congrats Saint.

    Vicki, sh*t! so sorry about the poopy scan. ARGH.

  • saint
    saint Member Posts: 1,877
    edited June 2009

    We don't really have any plans on WHERE to go==part of my fantasy is to just load it & flip a coin at each intersection or interchange! We are considering asking the kids SO's to go along.....it might be a weird trip, especially since I don't want to tow a car----we go, we stop & see, we park & sit.....LOL

    I will entertain ALL suggestions (except the world's largest ball of twine type stops!! LOL)

    BTW----here in so wis my dh & I experienced the northern lights about 18 years ago at Easter! We were astounded at what happened & it still doesn't feel real! The performance in the sky was phenomenal! At one point it seemed a red mist descended on us & took us into the show----all in a school yard! It was awesome & mystical & we still wonder exactly what happened (did someone slip us each some acid?? LOL)

    HUGS-be well & stay strong

  • dreamwriter
    dreamwriter Member Posts: 3,255
    edited June 2009

    I wish I wish... no that would be selfish.... I wish I wish.....

  • lovinmomma
    lovinmomma Member Posts: 1,879
    edited June 2009

    Dream......no wish you make is selfish!!!!!

  • dreamwriter
    dreamwriter Member Posts: 3,255
    edited June 2009

    I wish that Saint would drive the RV right across the border to me......!!!!!!!

  • footprintsangel
    footprintsangel Member Posts: 43,890
    edited June 2009

     We all wait for our dreams, Mine is to get the right help, I see the cancer Dr Wenesday, I pray

    he helps me, If not I will call the other clinic to get my records changes, People were worried

    cause I have been shakey and weak. Needed to rest all day. God bless you all,  Debbie

  • saint
    saint Member Posts: 1,877
    edited June 2009

    Aww drean----don't think I didn't consider it!!! We only get 1000 miles!

    We WILL meet again my sista!

    HUGS 

  • dreamwriter
    dreamwriter Member Posts: 3,255
    edited June 2009

    Well Im not checking into the hospital to make it happen.  Much as I love you.

  • saint
    saint Member Posts: 1,877
    edited June 2009

    you better NOT!!!!

  • EWB
    EWB Member Posts: 2,927
    edited June 2009

    I always thought it would be a great trip just to get in the car and drive....to whatever seemed interesting, stopping along the way to visit. I think not using the super highways all the way but winding thru some of the smaller roads. My mom and dad did that, sort of, went from NJ to Arizonia and back thru the southern states. Only a few places were preset since he had to have med and supplies shipped at certain times. They were away for about 1 1/2 - 2 months as I recall. Only cut the trip short towards the end cause he was having some medical/health concerns. 

    Saint I hope you have a lovely adventurious (sp?)  time!!

  • dreamwriter
    dreamwriter Member Posts: 3,255
    edited June 2009

    Relax I feel fine.

    I miss you and you dont call me any more.... :(

  • saint
    saint Member Posts: 1,877
    edited June 2009

    Well if you would stay put long enough to answer the phone.......dialing NOW!

  • saint
    saint Member Posts: 1,877
    edited June 2009

    Dream & I connected & had a nice long chat!!!!!!!! 

    End of the one-liners for a while.....LOL 

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