Spiritual/Christian Thread

Beautiful Sherri! I know too well what you mean about the "open" MRI?? I said the same thing, and they reassured me the open part was to the side, that tiny crack didn't do me any good either. I have never asked for help in the way you did, but I am so happy to read what happened to you! Yes, the Lord is always there, just waiting on us to let Him inside. I will try my best to not forget your post, I know it will be useful during the many tests we will have again. BTW Congratulations on your "unremarkable brain", we happen to think you're pretty remarkable tho.

That's weird. My daughter is studying to become an RN. In one of her classes, a few weeks ago, one of her classmates told of something that he witnessed in the emergency room where he works as a CNA part time. He told an elderly lady, maybe 65 or 70, who came in with a heart attack. She was pronounced dead. They cleared her bead so there was room for other patients, and put her body in another room, where they left it for a little while. Like 5 minutes or so later a nurse walked by and noticed her move, and saw that there was a heartbeat. So, they rushed her back into the emergency area, where she had another heart attack, and then was pronounced dead again. Then somehow someone noticed that her heart started beating again. She was put in intensive care, where she was for a few days, before being returned to her care home, where she still is now. She is fine, now. That was like a month or two ago. My daughter, when she told me about this, she said, "That lady must have had some issues with God or something." That was cute. Yes, we are not in control. He has the final say, doesn't He?

You know, when my daughter told me about this, I wondered, is that really possible? Did guy make this up? I still am not sure. But, probably it really happened that way.

My mother was an RN, and I remember a story she told, of something similar to this, with a man having been pronounced dead, from a heart attack, and then in the ambulance he started breathing again.

It's weird. I, personally, think God heard and answered your little prayer. He does, you know, hear and answer.

Salem, Oregon

Caroltina

Was this thread deleated for a while? I thought so. I had read stuff on here one day, and then looked for it another day, and couldn't find it. I thought I was just confused or not doing something right. I agree with you. I need the spiritual encouragement, too. I hope this thread never gets removed!

Caroltina
It depends on when you were originally reading this thead, it was up under Moving Beyond Cancer, but was changed to this area, by the moderator, Melissa, due to contraversy. It was a long story, and I almost gave up on coming to this discussion site, but in the end, I realized I was taking it personal, and that I needed to let that go. I am just glad there are other women who enjoy and find comfort with a Christian/Spiritual thread. Life is too short to live in animosity, maybe that was my lesson to learn. I would like to say that God continues to give me patients who I learn from, who give me hope, and faith every night I work. Sometimes, I am the one giving back, and that's even sweeter. It's so blessed to know we are giving back, that this experience is not in vain after all. God bless.

Rachel,
I've enjoyed reading your posts. Well, gotta go eat something. I could really get hooked on this. I'll enter something more tomorrow.
Caroltina

Caroltina,

I do not know what stage I was except T-3, N-3, M-0. That means that my tumor was stage three, measured 11 cm., I had no distant mets, 11 of 13 nodes were +. My onc. said that more nodes than 10 made it a stage III. My understanding is that the stage is more for treatment determination, although it is used statistically for prognosis. However, prognosis is in God's hands. I was diagnosed with ILC 12/03, started A/C in January 04 for 4 cycles. I had a MRM in April 04, and started Taxotere three weeks later. That bottomed out my ANC and I spent a couple of days in the hospital. I got out the Saturday before Mother's Day last year. I had 33 rads that ended September 04. I figure if I have a 50-50 chance, then I'll take the 50% that says I'll be here a while.

I go for my check-up tomorrow. I know that I had an estrogen level drawn to see if I'm truly in menopause; I am assuming a CBC and chemistry profile was done, too.

I was thinking about the book of Job these last few days. I do not think I suffered to the extent that he did, but I did think I would die from this disease. At the end of the book, Job has a closer relationship with God than he did before; I can relate to that. Sometimes we have friends that offer the same type of advice that Job's friends did. Then we come around to thinking that we are unworthy to question God, but just to respond to His great love for us. Our whole purpose in life is to bring glory to God! I want to have the joy of the Lord even in the midst of trouble.

I am so glad to see this thread active again! I cannot separate my life from my relationship with God the father, Jesus Christ His son, and the Holy Spirit. This is who I am; body, soul, and spirit. Our battle against any disease is physical, spiritual, and emotional/intellectual. God has brought me through so much; I do not want to deny His power in my life. Thank you for being like-minded and walking this walk with me.

My son was home from college this weekend and my daughter is about to leave home and move 350 miles away. We had a family picture made while we could be together. It was such a victory for me because we had a family picture made when I was first diagnosed. At that time I thought I would die soon and this would be my last "healthy-looking" picture. This time was a joy because I am here and victorious over this disease. I really enjoyed my kids clowning around and having them all together for a few hours.

God bless your day!
Kathy

Our battle against any disease is physical, spiritual, and emotional/intellectual. God has brought me through so much; I do not want to deny His power in my life.

Kathy, I know what you mean. Sometimes I'll be answering a post to someone I don't know, and I find myself monitoring what I'm saying, trying to leave out the spiritual part of this is tough, it's who we are. I'm glad you are here, you bless us each time you post.

Our whole purpose in life is to bring glory to God! I want to have the joy of the Lord even in the midst of trouble. Me too, but sometimes I am a pitiful witness, that's for sure. Lately, I have felt more disconnected from God, it's like I feel apathetic sometimes, just a vague feeling of emptiness. Hard to explain, but it feels like a part of me is deliberately pulling away, and I don't know why. What makes it so bad is I have just finished treatment, back to work, feeling better etc. and I should be even more joyous than I was during chemo etc. For me, it's like the worse my circumstances, the closer I bring myself to God. That's a shame, it takes traumatic events for me to truly appreciate who He is in my life. I hate that. I think the Bible talks about this, doesn't it? If anyone knows the passages, let me know. I need to read it again. Guess it's a common fault we have, but it makes me feel like a hypocrite, unintentionally, but there it is. Thanks for listening.

Hi there, Rachel & Kathy.

I'm frustrated. I just typed a whole bunch in here, and then went back to find that II Corinthians bible verse reference, and lost everything I'd written. I could be discouraged about that, and not try to write it again. Hm. Who would benefit from that? The enemy of our souls. I'm not going to give him that pleasure!

So, let me gather my thoughts.

I know how I started out. Yes, I confessed:

I have a confessin to make. I've been hiding. Besides being a Christian, my husband and I have been missionaries to Mexico for the past 8 years, before this last year. You can see us at www.imageevent.com/rcthompson if you are interested, and see me when I had breasts of my own. The loss of my breasts is one kind of loss. The loss of our home in Mexico, and our friends and ministry there, is another. We are planning a trip next month, for a month, maybe, but quite likely will not return there, full-time, ever.

We had been coming home for visits a couple of times a year. Last year, this month, we came home for more than a visit. We came to help our youngest daughter, Andrea, with the crisis in her life. She had two little boys under 3, and was pregnant. Her husband had left her, for her best friend. She needed us. We thought he'd be back. We thought we'd go back, once they reconciled.

We got on State medical insurance, just 'cuz, and had medical checkups, as it had been a while since we had done that. Well, I had a checkup a year before, but no mammogram, for like 7 years. And my hubby had his checkup, and test for prostate cancer.

Lo and behold, we both had cancer. He ended up having his prostate removed in November, caught it early, so no problem there. He was in surgery when I was getting chemo.

I'm having trouble focusing to get this written, but want to do it. The first time writing wasn't so difficult.

Another factor in this picture is that we have a special needs son, who we found in Mexico. When we first got him, 6 years ago, at almost 10 years of age, he weighed only 212 pounds. You can see him on that photo link I gave you. That's Marcos.

Marcos has grown, almost to 5 feet, and weighs a little over 70 pounds now. He has gotten better, developmentally, and physically, and then gotten worse, better and worse, better, and worse, all through these years. Now he is having to eat via a GI tube. That has actually helped him, though.

A plus is that we have Marcos in school for the first time in his life. It's a special ed class, and he loves it. They're working on getting a computer system set up, for communication. He's real spastic, though, but when he wants, motivated. He's not having as many seizures, and sort of has a little bit of a life now.

Marcos has been a real big issue for me, since my husband and I got cancer. I felt that we could not care for him. I felt, a lack of compassion, a pulling away from caring for him. I felt he was cheating me of my last year with my husband. (Yes, I thought I was going to die right away.) I felt that we should have just let him die. I felt all alone in our responsibility in caring for him. Also, I felt that we weren't doing good enough of a job caring for him. I felt sorry for him. I felt like he needed to be in a care facility, or foster home. And worried that, if I die, that it will put too big of a burden on my hubby, all alone. Or on me, all alone, if he dies.

Well, I don't know what will come of our boy. But, I am, praise God, finally starting to be able to feel love toward him again. Not that I didn't feel it. It was there. I just refused to let it out. I guess I was afraid to. I don't know. Plus, caring for him, changing his poopy diapers, just repulsed me, when on treatment. And the smell of urine and stuff.

No one can relate to this! No one. Can you? I don't think so. It's still hard.

We had a beautiful house. We sold it, paid off all our debts, before we went to Mexico. That was fine, while we were in Mexico. We built a house there in Mexico, and though humble, it was so nice. It's beautiful there! I miss it there. I miss the morning doves, and the sounds of life, children, roosters, woodpeckers. I miss my dog!

Anyway, now that we are here, I miss my home, the one we sold. I think sometimes that we goofed by doing that. That if we had not done that, I would have had my mamograms every year, and caught this. I know that isn't true. I think I know that. I think this was a quick grower, little, but quick.

I want to be able to just go someplace and go home, to my home, 5 bedrooms it had, room enough for our daughter and grandkids, and our son.

Then, I think about the people in Mexico. There is one man who I know most likely would have never come to know the Lord, if we had not been there. Jeff. We used his internet system there. He was a bitter grump, and then we started coming to use his system, in trade for my husband's help in keeping it working. Long story short, we led him to the Lord. His life was transformed. He came back to the States a year ago, also, and since then has left this earthly home, gone to wait for us, died of cancer, which he had battled a very long time.

Well, we don't have our home to come home to. We have an apartment, right next to our daughter and our three grandchildren. We are for the first time getting to really know our grandchildren. We've been able to watch our youngest, a little girl, from birth to almost a year old now, and help out, every day, with their care. Our daughter is now studying to be an RN. Able to do that because we are here. She helps us with Marcos, too. Her husband has divorced her, and she is getting on with life. Made much easier because we are here for her.

It is true, Kathy, that God does not allow things in our lives to hurt us. He is sovereign. He knows, every detail. Your words about Job, how that what he went through, after he went through it, he was closer to God, that's really a comfort to me. That's what I want. That's what I want more than anything! I just prayed that, actually, to God yesterday. Like you, Rachel, I find myself, now that I am done with treatment, and those huge emotions are kind of died down, I find myself pulling away from God. Feeling like a hypocrite. Yesterday I just decided to talk to Him, no matter what I felt. Coming from inside, deep inside, I heard myself pray, "God, I just want to know You, more than anything else in this life, that's what I want. I want to live for You, to please You, to be like You, to bring You glory. Help me! I can't do it, or want it, or know how, without Your help." Then I got on this web, and saw that Kathy had posted. It really helps. It does.

I have Christian friends here and stuff. But, it just doesn't feel right to burden them with this cancer stuff, and these feelings related to that, again and again and again. We need each other.

Please, let's be here for each other. Let's not hide. I mean, garsh, I'm chancing a lot here. Sharing that I'm a missionary. I feel like I am, anyway.

Did I say that, "I'm a missionary." ?? Well, I am. I still am. We are trying to get involved in ministry here. (Beyond church.) We're looking into it. My hubby and I went to the mission here, where homeless and needy people go, and inquired what we can do. Found some good possibilities there for us, with the hispanic people.

Anyway, I've babbled, and babbled, and babbled. At least I got it out. I can quit hiding.

The Lord bless you, and keep you, and make His face to shine upon you - - in the midst of all you are going through.

Carol

Congratulations on your three month check-up. I have an appointment for a check-up on the 17th. We can cheer each other on. OK?

That's funny. I just read over my entry, and realized that I had said that my son had only weighed 212 pounds. Well, no, that is not correct. He weighed 21 pounds, and was 1 meter long, or tall, at almost 10 years of age. How silly.
Although I guess it is almost more believable that he weighed 212 pounds at 10 years, than 21 pounds at 10 years.
That was such a long time ago. So many changes since then.

Anyway, I think that is good that you and your husband are counseling your friends, but are not going to marry them, and that you see the wisdom in listening to the advice of the leadership in your church. You are right about people not going on, moving forward, growing, after they come to the Lord. That's a dangerous place to be, because it is so easy for them to fall, then, into any temptation that comes along, like my son-in-law did. It is a dangerous place for any of us to be. We need to draw close, every day, take time to listen to Him, through His word, every day. I don't. I fall away, emotionally, at times. I don't get enough connectedness with other Christians, and people in general. The culture here is so busy. People don't have time for each other. They work, go to church once a week, maybe, and then go back to work on Monday. In Mexico there were always people to talk to. I think I will feel more connected once I started getting involved with the Mission downtown.

Anyway, I started a bible study online today, through a Baptist Church. A friend of mine gave me the link. It looks like it will be very basic and fundamental, good stuff. The link for that, in case you or someone else is interested, is: http://www.lvbaptist.org/biblest/0717frac.htm

I have a cold today. Rrrr. I thought I was just sneezing over some hair gel that someone gave me, as I am quite sensitive to perfumes, and it is perfumed quite a bit. Well, now my nose is all stuffed up. It's a cold.

My poor boy, Marcos, had a bad day at school today. He had two seizures. He's started something new, which we thought he only did here. He cries. Never did that before. He starts out kind of like he is laughing, and then we realize he's crying. The teacher called us today and asked if he'd done that before. It is frustrating, not knowing what is wrong. He can be crying like that, and then 15 minutes later bouncing away on the bed, happy as can be, which, btw (by the way) he is doing right now. Maybe he just wanted to be home today. His assistant teacher, that is assigned to him, wasn't there today, and won't be for two weeks. His wife just gave birth to their first baby, a boy.

Well, I will -
TTYL (talk to you later)
Again, congrats on your 3 month good report!

Caroltina (Carol)

I have read all of your posts today and I am so warmed by them. I am going back to have a recheck on calcifications and do not know what the results will be. I have so enjoyed the chatrooms and the discussion boards and this one has been such an inspiration to me. I am a Christian and I am so thankful for my faith....and all of yours too. We all need to pray for each other daily. And I hope anyone that wants to post bible verses will feel free to do so. That is HIS word.

KATHY,
How are you doing? You are in my prayers. Do you homeschool?

FOR ALL OF YOU -
This poem was sent to me by a friend:


GOD SPEAKING
The man whispered, "God speak to me"
And a meadowlark sang
But the man did not hear.
So the man yelled, "God, speak to me"
And the thunder and lightning rolled across the sky
But the man did not listen.
The man looked around and said, "God let me see you."
And a star shined brightly.
But the man did not see.
And the man shouted, "God show me a miracle."
And a life was born.
But the man did not notice.
So the man cried out in despair, "Touch me, God and let
me know you are here!"
Whereupon, God reached down and touched the man.
But the man brushed the butterfly away and walked on.
(I found this to be a great reminder that God is always
around us in the little simple things that we take for granted.
The good new is that you are loved.
Don't miss out on a blessing because it isn't packaged the way that you expect.
"Expect the Unexpected!"
"Have a Happy Day!")
AUTHOR UNKNOWN


I thought that was sweet. May God touch your life in a special way, today!
Caroltina

Welcome KJ from VA! It is great to have the encouragement of the "sistas".

Carol, yes I do homeschool and have been for the past 12 years. I have two that are out of high school and on to college and two that are at home. It is more parent directed education at this point. They are 16 and 14. The older one has a math tutor as he has passed my ability, and we participate in a home school co-op that has classes one day a week during the traditional school year. I am on the founding committee and we offer Spanish, art, drafting, writing, apologetics, literature, science, and sometimes aerodynamics and electronics. I will be doing a Shakespeare class for high school in the fall. I have done this before and it is a lot of fun. I like to get the kids whose parents make them take the class. They think that Shakespeare is so old and out of date. I like to get their reactions when they realize that he was very funny and knew a lot about people.

Rachel, I am glad you did not get the promotion. You would give up the personal work God has you doing. You are touching lives in a way that you have never before been able to do. Your care and comfort to those patients you've shared with us is very real and eternally valuable. In fifty years will it matter that you got the promotion? In fifty years it will matter who you encouraged and pointed to Jesus. That is an eternal difference. One may be more glamourous, but that tempts our pride and God opposes the proud. I know you know this, and I'm not meaning to be preachy. I love your stories!

I went for a three month check-up this week and I am officially in menopause. I was complaining about the muscle cramps and the "old lady" feeling. It is getting better, but I still have days of it. My onc. said that chemo deconditions our bodies and that it takes six months to a year to get reconditioned again. It affects every muscle of our bodies. I could yawn and my chin/neck would cramp. I also saw the doctor for the LE and my arm is slightly smaller. I am determined to drop thirty pounds before I go back. Please help me be accountable for this.

God bless your day!
Kathy

Roxwooood, what part of VA are you from. The Lord loves us redneck christians as much as any other.

I enjoyed the verses as well as the poem . I will continue to pray for my "sisters". It is only through my faith that I am worthy of HIS love and your prayers.

Kathy,

I home schooled my kids at different times, and for a while was part of a support group of mothers who offered their skills and taught classes. It was fun. I quit when my oldest two were in junior high school. Then when my youngest was in 8th grade, we went off to Mexico. She homeschooled there in Mexico, but what she learned most, more than her academics, was a complete different culture. She learned confidence that did not depend upon her peer group. She learned that she loved old people, and visited with families, made friends, and learned the language all on her own. Now she is studying to be a nurse, and will benefit greatly from knowing another language and culture.

I'd love to have you share some of your little insights about Shakespeare. One of my daughter's favorite movies is "Much Ado About Nothing." I don't know if that has anything to do with Shakespeare, but I guess they talk about the same. It's a cute movie.

You had your three month check-up, huh? Well, I was suppose to have mine yesterday. Can you believe it? I forgot it! I think that must be a good sign, that I'm not worried about it. I rescheduled, and it is going to be this Friday.

You said that you would like us to hold you accountable to lose weight? Well, my suggestion is to eat more fruit and vegetables, and walk, at least a little, every day. I think it's kind of like trying to be, um, more yielded to God, and less yielded to our own crummy character. We get that way, not by focusing on how bad our characters are, but on how good His is. And, by immersing ourselves into His word, "eating our vegetables." The more of those vegetables ya get, the less of the other stuff ya want. Isn't it true? I've been craving oranges. Mmmm. They are so yummy this time of year, here, anyway. So what vegies or fruit have you been craving, if any?

The Lord bless you, and keep you, and make his face to shine upon you - -

Carol

Hi, sisters,

God is our provider. Isn't He. He provides us with instant communication because He loves us and wants to hear from us. I think of prayer like a medicine. I was sharing with a patient today that we are body, soul and spirit and there are interventions for all parts of our makeup. When I did my comps, one of the questions was "What is you philosophy of nursing?" I had developed my own theoretical model befor the exams anticipating such a question. I replied that as a nurse, I must recognize the three aspects of humanity and assist others in achieving healing when one or more of these areas are affected. I went on to quote scripture to document my theory... if any of you have taken comps, you know that you must state the author, work and date of publication... he, he... well, I did. I passed comps. I will often write prescriptions that contain a Bible verse and explain, "I don't think a pill will help you... but contemplate this and you may find your answer."

Rachel, we are needed in the trenches. There is a hurting world out there. This past week has been very unsettling... so many with psychiatric and substance abuse issues... so young and sooo lost... When I ask them if they are involved in a local church, most say, "No." One young man began to cry when I asked him that question this week. I directed him to a church in his area and I pray that he will go. He lost his license and has to travel on his bike.

You are right about the bond we have because of breast cancer... I feel it with other patients that are receiving cancer treatment. They know I understand the fatigue, the aches... and I think are more likely to listen to my suggestions... you can't make anyone do anything without convincing them of the sincerity of your request.

We progress on this journey... Praise God that we know the end of the trail.

Pat