first chemo done

jill - good luck tomorrow.  It does sound like the herceptin and chest issues could be related - but it won't hurt to have the rest of you checked.  Hopefully it will be just meds related and nothing else.  I know I had a very very irregular heartbeat from either the chemo or the Neulasta, so its possible that yours is also related to your meds.

I agree with you - when I was getting chemo / steriods, I do remember being very emotional, sometimes really short tempered, sometimes very teary, and depressed.  it does go away, but also makes sense with what is being pumped into our bodies, that not only do physical side effects occur, but also emotional ones. 

Have a comfortable, side effects night, ladies.

Hi all,

Quick post as I am off to get my Neulasta shot (by the way, mine is billed @ $4,300).  Did well last night after treatment, slept on and off all evening and then 6 hours overnight.  So far no heartburn or breathing issues - no nausea either, so maybe all your good thoughts and prayers are being heard!  Please keep it up, as I do for all of you.

Geri

Morning Ladies...

Lots of chatter which is great to see...

debbie and Geri...glad things are going well...watch your SEs they can sneak up on you just when you are feeling good.

I had my Nuelasta shot on the back of my right arm (opposite of SNB arm) and they first warmed it up in their hands because it comes out of the fridge..then gave me the shot very slow...fortunately I did not experience any bone pain...I just got really tired and then a slight fever..they say to watch for fevers with that shot anything over 100.5 and you call the doc right away - it could mean an infection.  As for the cost...I got 6MG of Neulasta and it was $2,700.  So maybe each physician charges differently. 

Here are some other costs...FYI...

Taxotere 20MG @ $3,200

Cytoxan 100MG @ $65.00

Aloxi .025 MG @ $200.00

Benadryl 50MG @ $1.50

Decadron 1 MG @ $40.00

Heparin 1000 UN @ $.50

Ranitidine Injection @ $3.00

And then every time they injected me it was $50.00 for each item listed above in addition to the $350.00 charge for accessing the port and $150.00 for the office visit.

But you know you can't put a price on trying to survive and get well.  I feel for those who cannot afford health insurance and they don't get any treatment.  That is why I donate to BC locally as they can provide treatment to those who are less fortunate.

Jill...please take care of yourself and hopefully they will have a remedy for your symptoms.  Let us know whats up with you...

Hugs...to everyone....

Jill, I sure hope you have better luck then I did...I went thru months of stomach problems, lost weight, the whole 9 yrds, had all these tests and they couldn't find anything wrong! I guess I dreamed them all up...still have it to this day at times..........hate to hear your feeling bad though...but jeez, the chemo we had is enough to eat a hole in our stomachs!

Love and hugs

Deb

Jill:  I am so sorry that you are having to go through so much extra crap.  As if BC isn't enough on its own.  Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.

By the way, those costs are astonishing! 

Janet

Geri, sounds like you've got a nice glow today!  Hope the weather is gorgeous for your ride.  Sounds like a nice way to celebrate a good chemo day.   

Jill, you enjoy that wonderful twilight anesthesia. At least you won't be thinking about medical bills while you're drugged up.  We're DEFINITELY hitting our insurance maximum this year.  I don't even want to think about it.  Oh, well...my doctors and medical care are so good, so far, that at least I feel I'm getting my money's worth... they'll be saving my life, and I think that's worth tens of thousands of dollars. (Hmmmm, I wonder if my husband agrees?)  

Today I am cutting my middle-of-my-back length hair into a funky chin-length bob, as a preemptive strike against the chemo.  My hair is my very very very favorite thing about my body. Losing my breasts was no big deal but I am dysfunctionally attached to my hair. 

Which reminds me of my very favorite bumper sticker:  "Oh, hell, not another LEARNING EXPERIENCE." 

Hello all !

First, thanks for your wishes and thoughts.  While expasperated that the medical train seems to keep on going, I am actually not too bad.   I am not one that relishes medical junk in the slightest and would prefer this whole thing be over with so I can get on with my life.   So, I have to admit to being a bit astonished that I keep having to do this stuff.  I have been relatively healthy most of my life, so this medical crap is a bit foreign to me even now.

That said, I guess I am grateful that my docs are being so cautious and thorough - better safe than sorry.  I keep forgetting this is nasty stuff they gave us and it can mess up some things while fixing others.  I told someone one day that this whole thing has been a bit like a game of "whack a mole".  We whack one mole in the body, and another one pops up.  Then we whack that mole, which causes a different one to pop up.  I am just trying to get all the moles under control at this point. 

Honestly, what I am starting to think is that the symptoms that have the docs so freaked out may just be a side effect of this drug (herceptin) and I will have to live with it over the next 12 treatments.   Part of me is even sorry that I mentioned it to them in the first place.  BUT... I am forever grateful that I know now my heart is fine.   That is the big one.  The GI stuff is annoying, (it that is what the problem is) but I don't know anyone that has died from heartburn.

Anyway, that is the news that is news.  Hubby and I are going to an art show today.   Then we have tickets to see "A Chorus Line" tomorrow night to celebrate our anniversary.   We hit number 18 on Monday.    I am looking forward to it.  

Hope everyone continues to do well !  Geri, I am really glad to see you getting through so relatively well (knock on wood) this time.

Jill

Hello Ladies !

Got to tell you all about something that happened today.   I mentioned that my husband and I were going to an art show this afternoon.   It was great.  We ended up buying a couple eclectic little pieces.  It is times like these when I know I chose the right guy.   It is almost uncanny how we end up gravitating to the same things at these shows - and bypassing the same things.  

Anyway, as we were walking around, we came upon a booth that was auctioning painted "bricks" from breast cancer survivors.  It was sponsored by a woman who had felt like a "ton of bricks" had fallen on her upon her diagnosis.  So, she turned to sponsoring this local event in which people paint these bricks and all proceeds from the sales go to breast cancer research.  Last year it raised $45,000.    So, I struck up a conversation with a couple ladies running the booth, told them I was a survivor and it was like instant connection.

As my husband and I were leaving the booth, I realized that maybe it was perhaps a little rude that I had started this conversation while he was there with me.  I said.. "I am sorry if things keep coming back to breast cancer.   I guess it is just a part of who I am now".  And he looked at me and said "Well, that's OK.. it is a part of who I am now too".   He said it so earnestly, that I knew he meant it.   Not knowing exactly what to say, I just kissed him and said "I am a lucky woman".   He just smiled and hugged me - and then we went back to checking out art pieces.

So.. I really can't top that one for an anniversary present.   It meant the world to me to hear him say it like that.  I am a lucky woman. 

Jill

What a fun day today - stayed out for 4 hours, went to Yonkers racino and did a little gambling to lighten the mood - lost of course, but had a few laughs and didn't break the bank! 

Driving home on the Palisades Parkway, in the glorious sun, with a massive headache, shaky legs, mild heartburn and exhausted beyond belief - I smiled the biggest smile, because it was a beautiful day, and everything else could be put on hold, even if just for today!!! Best feeling I've had in 3 months - made me realize life is good, and all that we are going through is so that we see it is all worth it to have a sunny May day to look forward to next year without all the other stuff we galantly suffer through now!  (Ya think the steroids are causing this emotional epiphany ha ha)

Reading these last few posts, it seems there are many good things happening...Jill's wonderful husbands reassurance of his love, Cruises' grandsons birthday celebration with his "Vroom Vroom's"

Kaidog's big step in cutting her hair, and knowing that on this board, we understand that everyone has a favorite bodily attribute, and no, Kaidog, you are not dysfunctional for being attached to your hair - you are exceptionally functional for realizing it is just another step in this journey to be mourned as a temporary loss...as you said "another learning experience".

You guys are just the greatest lifeline...thanks

Geri

Hi

JILL:  Happy Anniversary to you and your hubby.  Sounds like he's the best!

KAIDOG:  I know the hair thing is tough.  I didn't think it would be a big deal, but as I approach the dreaded date of hair loss, I'm getting more and more apprehensive.  I did get a wig, which I picked up today, only to be disappointed in the color.  (anyone know if they can change with some dye?)  I guess we must focus on the fact that after we are healthy it will grow back, and in the scheme of things, it's a small (and short-lived) price to pay. 

GERI:  I'm glad you had a good day.  It was a beautiful day here on the east coast.  I didn't know the steriods would cause an emotional epiphany, (you lucky lady,) mine are only causing me to be annoyed  - at everyone!!!!!   

CRUISE:  Hope you had a good time with your family. 

 Janet

Jill good luck with your test. And Happy Anniversary! Your husband expressed so beautifully what most of our loved ones are most likely feeling. 

Geri I'm glad you had a good day. We need them. May day next year is something I will be looking forward to also. My steriods just made me bright red... like a lobster.

Jill, I also got tears in my eyes when I read your story about your husband.  Wow.  Wow, wow, wow.  That's a beautiful story.  Happy Anniversary! 

Janet, I just chopped off a foot of my hair yesterday and I am astonished... because I like my hair short.  This is shocking.  I grew up in a very, er, conservative Catholic family and my mother insisted on short hair until I was out of the house at 18; she was also hypercritical of just about every aspect of my appearance. We get along great now and she's mellowed tremendously with age,  but my hair has remained a "sign" of my independence and adulthood.  Also, I'm 5'9 and very broad shouldered and weigh about 160 pounds, so I'm kind of big... and always thought I needed the hair to balance the rest of me. 

So... cutting that hair off was a huge deal for me, but the shocker came when I was holding my braid in my hand and felt dizzyingly, happily, joyously free of that damn hair.  Later, I was doubly surprised when my husband, who looooves long hair, looked at me and said, "That haircut is really great on you. Looks like you always had it, totally natural."  HUH?  And this morning I woke up thinking, "Bald?  Meh.  No big deal." 

Then I ask myself, "WHO IS THIS WOMAN AND WHAT HAPPENED TO NEUROTIC LAURA???"

So, Caren, you offer wise, wise words to remember: the anticipation is worse than the actual event.   That's been true for everything I've gone through so far.   

Shannon, thanks, I've been called far worse.  Looking forward to reading your posts, too.

Anyone here on Facebook?  Would love to connect.  I am joining Jill's DH in harassing her to get an account set up.  It's such fun... but also a phenomenal time waster...  

Laura - glad you were able to get through the first haircut without becoming a blubbering idiot.  That was the worst day for me, and the most emotional - chemo decision day/cut my long hair short/try to find a wig (bad day to do that if you are already emotional - nothing looks good).  Plus the added experience of having an unemotional sister cut it.  Everyone loved my short 'do, except my DH, who was I think more upset about me having to go through chemo than anything else.   On the day we had to shave it, about 15 days after first tx, it was such a relief because my scalp was so tender and sore, that I celebrated it.  Now, I can't wait for it to grow in - am very impatient about that!!  I started thinking that it's been 5 months already since I found the lump and all of this started - and wondering what next January will feel like, since this has been such a rollercoaster ride - fast, unexpected swoops and lovely glides during those times when I'm feeling wonderful and it's beautiful out and I'm not worried about anything, and the round and round part when nothing seems to be different.

We had a wonderful night last night - it was a little cooler after a violent rainstorm and we took the jeep out with no top on it, and cruised around - got some coffee, went down to the river, saw an incredible sunset - half of the orange flaming sun almost down, with a huge black thunderstorm behind it, providing the perfect backdrop to let it glow - then stopped at what is probably the only Greek diner in 100 miles to have a quick bite - it was a nice, peaceful night and we had such a great time.  That's what we've been trying to do - steal little times like this, and like what you did, Jill, and just have "us" time enjoying each other and the beauty around us.  Planting flowers today in the yard now that it's rainy season - nothing should burn up and disintegrate.

I am on facebook - love it - and have connected with so many old friends that way.  I'll friend you, Laura - michele vongerichten is how I'm listed.

Geri, so glad you are doing much better this time around!! 

I love Facebook, get to irritate and embarass my daughter on a daily basis! LOL

Jill,

     Mom is doing well as I see it.  She tires pretty easily and is still having bouts with her stomach.  From what I am reading here, this must be pretty "normal" for lack of better word.  Loading dose of Herceptin this Wednesday and hoping to get results of the BRCA at that time.  Other than that....She has been chomping at the bit to get into her pool, which she did this afternoon.  I swear that woman would live in the water if she could, a real Florida girl.  Still saying "I'm almost better now" as she always does.  Fantastic lady that one is.  Thanks for thinking of us.  Hope you all are having a restful Sunday.    Shannon