Starting chemo January 2009?

Saw my oncologist yesterday 4 weeks after last treatment. My blood counts are still low but he doesn't seem concerned. Started Tamoxifen yesterday. Even though I am post menopause I have moderate osteoporosis so we will do the Tamoxifen for at least one year maybe two....

 What kind of follow-up are most of you having from your oncologist?

 Holtbolt-Happy Birthday!! Enjoy your day!

 I had 29 radiation treatments so far. Only 6 more to go. I haven't had any problems. Actually I like the staff at the radiation center alot better than at the chemo center. The people at the chemo clinic are in the wrong profession. They did not interact with the patients hardly at all except to hang the meds and very brief conversations. My first time there was horrible. Actually I hated it every time I went there.The girls at the radiation center are so different. They talk, smile, explain, interact. I'm going to bake them a cake next week.

 For those of you still going through chemo, my thoughts are with you. I can't wait til everyone is done and able to enjoy not going to those chemo clinics again.

 I had a total hysterectomy in 2002 and I haven't been back to my gyn since 2005. So I made an appt the end of June to have a PAP test done. My doctor said that the cells that cause cervical cancer can also invade the vaginal walls so I want to make sure I'm okay there. That will be one less thing to worry about.

 I hope everyone has a great weekend.

How do you all have the energy to keep up with this board?  I wish we could all sit down in a big group and take our time and each have a chance to talk.  I read the posts and I am delighted to be in the group and identify with so much of what everyone says, and I can't connect the message or information with the name after about four posts.  Isn't that awful?  It's chemo-brain.  It took me about two hours this morning to remember my email password at work today, the one I have had for about five years!  Oh well.  Par for the course.

Patti - I am seven days from my final chemo.  Tomorrow morning will be the first Saturday to wake up with no infusion the day before.  I am sorry to say, this is one of the worst chemo days I have ever had.  I am not functioning well.  The aches have never been worse.  I got out of bed this morning and my whole body just buckled.  It had to hold onto the dresser to get myself back to the bed and I was really shaking, my vision was blurry, my mind was blurry.  It still is.  I guess the numbness isn't all that bad.  I am soooo tired though.  I just can't think and my awareness is terrible.  I am just seven days out though.  I'll bet another week will make a world of difference.

I did go in for blood work today, and amazingly, my blood levels are the highest they have been, even though I am just at another seven day interval.  That is great but I am wondering why I feel worse than ever.  Part of it must be psychological.  You know, how sometimes people don't get sick until they have a vacation, then they get really sick because they let go and their immunity is down.  It feels like something has given way for me. In many ways I did just run a marathon.   

Phyllis - I am sorry to hear that you are also having a bad time.  You will be done soon.  If it's any consolation, I did feel a little lost not having chemo today.  I will definitley miss all that intense attention.  It's true.    

HOLTBOLT - Happy Birthday!  Hope it's a great day for you.  Being done with chemo is a great gift!

kt57 - I am imagining your red nails.  That's just what we do to get through all this isn't it?  Won't it be great to get back to our old selves?

 Catherine - thank you for mentioning ho much chemo weakens us.  That really helped me to take it a little easier on myself.  We just donlt have any choice and we are getting throuhg it all.

Kim- that is too bad about your position.  You sound like you have a strong attitude about it though.

You'd never believe how long it took me to write this much.  I hope I can check in again tomorrow. 

Bye for now.

Nancy

Happy Birthday, Holtbolt!!!

I had to have my eybrows waxed today   Two weeks ago I only had three hairs on each side. 

re: follow-ups

my UCSF medical oncologist recommends bloodwork every six months with tumor markers checked, but never any scans unless an obvious problem occurs. my reno medical oncologist (a total idiot) recommends chest x-rays (moronic) every six months and bloodwork, but no tumor markers checked. my radiation oncologist recommends a PET scan six to eight months after radiation. it's maddening that there is no consensus, but i always go with whatever my UCSF doctor recommends.  

BerkleyKim - for me once they started coming back it was just POW!!  they were back.  They are still not as thick as normal but I most certainly have eyebrows again. I haven't had un-shaped eyebrows since I was 11 so it was weird to see the caterpillars start showing up.  My face looked weird, lol. 

Have a great rest of the weekend, everyone!

Diane

Renrel:

Re FMLA and returning to work. I exhausted my FMLA, and was able to go back to work with accommodations. I seem to remember you work for the government--if so, they might have an accommodations specialist. I needed a doctor's note asking for accommodations due to treatment and side effects. Your hospital social worker might be able to give some advice.  I'm going back to work full time next week (but there are just 2 weeks of school left! I wanted to be on record as full time before summer), and I needed another note releasing me from accommodations to full duty. Good luck.

And, you are so sweet to give gifts to your onc. team. I'm sure they will really appreciate it. I'm trying to decide how to thank all my co-teachers who brought me food during my surgery recovery and chemo. I'm thinking a note and some chocolate hearts. I thought of doing a breakfast buffet but I don't think I"m up to it.

that book sounds interesting, and just what i need now. Weird how SEs keep popping up post-chemo.

i'm giving donations to american cancer society in each of my chemo nurses' names and my UCSF med onc's name as my gifts to them. my medical oncs here in reno get nothing; i received horrible care from them. i love my radiation oncologist, though, and i'm going to give him a teddy bear because that's what i tell him he reminds me of. he's big and hugable and cute.  it's wonderful to finally have a doctor in reno with a brain, someone i really trust. 

Hi all:  Well schools out and it is bittersweet.  I am not sure what is going on emotionally but I have had several crying spells in the past two days.  Just feeling sad, tired, frustrated, done done done!!! Maybe now that school is out  I am letting myself feel some stuff I have been ignoring up until now.  Well anyway poor DH has gotten a few tongue lashings with many four letter words he probably did not deserve,  but I have been feeling real angry these past few days.  Little things pissing me off.  I think I am having a pity party anyone want to come?

Dh graduated from the Naval Academy 30 years ago May 30th.  He wanted to go out to celebrate the "throwing up my hat 30 years ago today" and I was in a foul mood.  Did not want to be seen in public in the stupid cancer head gear, could not find anything that fit...All weight I loss during first part of chemo has come back, then some with the taxol & steriod munching.  I complained about our seat..I wanted a booth so I could hide! Got one.  How strange to be feeling this way after dealing with this stuff for so long.

SEs from this weeks treatment are not too bad.  Sore legs for sure today but I have given up on trying not to take pain killers so at first sign I take one and it really helps.  Makes me a little dopey so don't get much done but my attitude right now is "SO WHAT". 

My DH is in training for a triathalon he is doing on Father's Day so he is always off to run, ride or swim.  It is beginning to annoy the heck out of me.  Surprise! Surprise! Everything is annoying the heck out of me.  I feel like I am sitting here getting fatter and weaker everyday.  Can hardly walk up stairs without limbing and he's off to run 10 miles.  Always thought I would outlive him by many years....not so sure now.  What a morbid thought.  Think I'll go back to reading my James Patterson book and get out of my life for awhile.

Love you all.  Have a good one.

Patti

Sorry things were so tough Ladyjane!!!!  I  had those mood swings  toward the end of treatment.... I felt like I looked like a clown so many times.  As a military wife I had a tons of event to go to over the past 4 months.....Change of Commands and all the dinners, dinning outs, COW parties etc that went along with it.  Being married to a Naval Officer can have it good days...but when your dealing with this it's a real pain.  My husband is doing his Dept Head tour right now....as a JO wife....I envisioned this tour to be so much different......I didn't think I'd be the bald lady at all the functions!  I can relate!  After being 9 weeks out....I feel like things are so much better! 

I went to a reception last night for Dr. Maya Soetor-Ng....she is President Obama's sister.  (I might add I met the President in December.....while he was here in Hawaii...and I had hair)..in any case...she has a new project called Our Publics Schools...so I went without any head gear.  I have a covering all over my head so feel kind of ok....except it's salt and pepper color!  The director of her organizations was a stunning African American woman..who looked like she could have been a model....and guess what...she had her hair cut as short and close to her head as mine was!!  She looked sensational!  The vision of her breathed new life into my perception of what I look like!!!  What I look like is in my attitude now!!!  I am gorgeous!!!  that's my story and I'm stinking to it!!!!   I'm gonna dress well and wear makeup every day and pretend this hair is by design!!!  

I'm so happy you did that HoltBolt!  I'm glad you are going on the walks and not hiding yourself away!!!  I think we will have hair so soon, we'll look back at this and laugh..or at least I hope so! If I can get anything good out of this maybe I will not be so worried about my hair.  Never have a "bad hair" day.  The thought of a bad hair day seems so trivial now....look at the past and think of my bad hair days......I'm almost embarrased! 

Next step Holtbolt....ditch the scarf!!!  In time of course!  

Hi Renrel - I relate to being stressed by administrators at work.  In our office of 4 permanent, full-time staffers we have 3 managers!  in the same office!  There is also a part-time person and three student employees.  It's very top heavy, and our managers never questions the business Nazis above them, ever.  They are always maddeningly aggressive and on-board with every decision.  It can be stressful but it gives me a lot of opportunity to practice my glazed over (Catherine's words) "I'm not wasting my energy on you" mind-set.  I hope you get your PT schedule.

Patti - I think I have done the same thing as far as letting the tensions build and not realizing it.  In my case, as usual, it was more inward.  I just cried some.  The anti-depressants I take make it difficult for me to cry.  It is the worst side-effect I have from them, the only one really.  So when I do cry I know I am really overdone, so to speak.  I have also felt the need to escape or just to do what feels good.  When I was still at the height of my chemo misery I just wanted to gaze at the sky, or get lost in sensation.  I have stopped taking pain meds even though I had quite a bit of pain over the weekend, but when I was feeling that way, I took them as prescribed.  Doctors do not usually give them without very good reason  My BF is a golden god, such beauty.  I feel like his little funny looking little sidekick right now. It is frustrating.  

ddlatt - I love your gift idea and may just borrow it.  I think it's great to call someone an idiot if they are one and I find it amusing that you did. 

I got a call from the cancer center today.  Apparently the radiation oncologist tried to call to tell me he doesn't recommend radiation, and he got a message about reaching my pager -?  I don't have a pager.  I need to speak with this guy and ask his reasoning.  I hope I don't have to be too firm.  I just need a few minutes. The woman who called said they'd have him call.  While I would love not to have rads, I really need to understand why he decided this.  If I question it or do not agree, I'll need another opinion.  

Shocked -that's great new about your eyebrows.  I can't wait.  I am getting pretty good at drawing them on.  I would settle for the Gorbachev look at this point.  I just want them back.  Same with the hair - whatever I get I will happily work with.  

Holtbolt - I am still hiding but mostly I think it's from lack of energy and not feeling like I can stand up.  I'm happy that you connected and lived a little!          

Alo - I love the self-image epiphany!  I was out yesterday feeling so yucky and tired.  I just wore my pink baseball hat.  I got a lot of stares at the store, then I went for a walk in a lovely old, wealthy neighborhood.  At each crosswalks cars would stop and wave me on, waiting ever so patiently.  It was a little weird.  I felt quite sick and I imagine I looked it too.  It's getting hot here.  I'm not messing with head gear in my down time.      

I worked a full day and finally feel OK today.  I have some neuropathy in one hand and I'm a little sore but that's it.

Hope all the JJs are feeling well.

Nancy 

Yeah, the hat, wig, scarf thing. I plan on gong bald at an event coming up real soon.  We will spend the weekend on the beach of Lake Michigan.  The only reason I'll put a hat on is to ward off the bugs!!!!  :0  LOL.

Hey kmmd - I started Tamox on May 1.  So far no real issues unless I take it later in the evening (I don't take it in the morning because of the bisphosphanate).  If I take it too late the night sweats are worse than usual.  Other than a slightly full feeling I haven't had any other side effects.  So far I haven't noticed a huge weight gain either.

Have you started?

Started taking it last Thursday night....just mild hot flashes for now. I take it at night. My onc. said that I actually might LOSE WEIGHT on it.....even said it on the papers with the bottle. I hope that is the case as I gained 10-14 lbs on chemo (not sure how much is fluid 'cause it changed from day to day!)

I'll be taking it for at least one year, maybe two then switch to an AI.