Don't Think I've Ever Felt This Pain

You just get out whatever you need to, and this is the place to do it. A positive attitude is a wonderful asset to have. All"doom and gloom" is not mentally healthy. You will both have your good and bad times. Perhaps, you should have a good Mother/Daughter cry and get this all out in the open. If you are going to be there for her, the last thing either of you need is the added stress of each trying to protect the other. It is, what it is..... and the best you can do is fight ! Learn what you can that may help, but careful on the internet, as it can overwhelm you very quickly. This is going to be a marathon, and not a sprint so try going one day at a time, go slowly and plan. Once you have all your plans in place, everything will be a lot calmer.

During chemo, activity and hydration is important. Perhaps you can both start some short walking now, and get into the habit. Also, dropping some pounds decreases the risk of recurrence, as does a low fat diet. I was totally shocked at some of the things I was eatng when I looked at some labels  UGGHHH !! 

Best of luck to you both, and please keep us posted on what is happening. You may also want to join the chat room... lots of ladies there with everything from A - Z. Had all the surgeries, took all the meds, etc etc...you can get some good support there and information that is first hand.

Let it out I have cried many nights suitting alone while my wife sleeps.  She had surgery in May back to work in 2 weeks. She was a Stage IIB and 2 out of 24 lymphnodes were positive.  Just let her know you care and Love her and dont be afraid to let her see you cry, it is not a sign of weakness.

Carl

ETC/SS USN Retired 

Pretty pink,

I understand, it feels like you are in a nightmare that you wish someone could just wake you up from.  As soon as my mom was diagnosed they put her into hospice because she refused any treatment to fight this disease, and since that day it has been really hard. The pain will not stop until either your moms cancer is gone or she gets better and even after that it will hurt but please know it is okay to cry.  Hospice has taught me that no matter where you are at it is okay to cry and express your feelings, that is how you heal is by your tears.  Also if need be it's okay to cry in front of your mom because maybe she needs to feel like she is not alone as far as feelings goes and then maybe your mom might start crying to which will help heal both of you.  Please know that no matter what you are not alone God is always with you and your mom, he is holding both of you in his hands and if you ever feel lonely or upset just cry out to him he will send you peace and comfort no matter how dark the days can become he is there night and day.  I would say you can lean on friends and family but the nights can feel lonely and if you can't reach anyone God is always there. 

Elisa... I just happened to see this thread. I am not a caregiver I am a survivor reading your words kind of terrified me as I never knew what my family daughters, husband felt when I was going through treatment although I did catch him crying 1-2 times in the initial diagnosis stage.

As my surgeon said 'sh..t happens' we just go through the motions and make the most of it. Reading the diagnosis DCIS her prognosis is excellent .. well.. actually I think one is better off having dcis than high blood pressure even ! But why chemo for dcis ? cause the grade is 3 ?

It is good that you are with your mom and helping her along the way, however as a mom I would not be happy seeing my daughter stop her life and attend to my needs, maybe that is me as I see this as my personal fight although I am extremely appreciative of all the support that I get from my friends and family.

Take good care of yourself Elisa that is the best gift a daughter can give to her mom and cherish and enjoy the time you get to spend with her, cancer gives everyone a different perspective and we learn to appreciate everything and take nothing for granted.