Newly Diagnosed w/IDC - help with questions

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  • BShoemaker
    BShoemaker Member Posts: 78
    edited May 2009

    Kaidog, thanks so much for the advice...it really helps to hear it from those of you that have walked the walk.  Lisa, thanks for reminding me to try & keep things normal.  I'm doing my best...just having some strange moments that make it difficult.  Today I walked into a store and there in front of me was a woman with a shaved head that had clearly gone through or was still going through Chemo.  I wanted to walk up to her and tell her I had just been diagnosed and give her a hug and ask her how she was doing. I felt my eyes start to well up with tears and decided not to say anything. It was such a weird feeling wanting to reach out to this complete stranger.  Then Oprah had Christina Applegate on today who has just gone through a double mast.   I couldn't tear myself away from the show.  Wow...now I feel like no matter where you turn Cancer is going to slap you in the face or punch you in the gut.   

    I'm sort of freaking out about one thing though.  I have been dwelling on the lump in my breast.  It has been bothering me over the weekend.  Sort of an annoying aching feeling.  I have been religious about getting my mammo's annually and just had my last one in November 08'.  I am freaked out about the size of the lump I feel in my breast and how in the world could it have grown so fast if my mammo came out clean in Nov. 08'...that's like 6 months!  I wonder if they missed something or if I have some seriously aggressive cancer in me.  Just venting until my MRI results come back...hopefully tomorrow!

    Nelia48 - Your response is very helpful....thanks!  How big was your lump?  Your story makes me wonder if I will go through the same thing.  Did the size of the lump make much of a difference in what stage the cancer was?  I know people have said it's not necessarily the size, but whether or not it has spread.  Just can't help but think that doesn't make much sense...but what do I know!?!?

    thanks again everyone for your support, advice etc... You are all life savers and I feel like I have 100 shoulders right now to lean on.  THANK YOU!

    Bettina

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  • dlb823
    dlb823 Member Posts: 9,430
    edited May 2009

    Bettina ~  I know it's way to early for you to comprehend this, but one of the good things that can come out of this experience is a much deeper awareness and compassion for those around us who are dealing with similar challenges.  You're very new to this, but starting a conversation with another woman who is obviously undegoing chemo will soon become second nature to you, and you'll be surprised at how easily you'll connect with a stranger because of a shared sisterhood.

    And your feeling that "no matter where you turn, cancer is going to slap you in the face..."  Well, I tend to think it was there all the time.  You just didn't notice it, and now you will.  And one of these days, it won't feel like a slap in the face, but a reminder of how strong you are because you faced it and got through it, just as we all have. 

    Laura ~ Your recent post was full of great advice, and beautifully written.  And, Lisa, thank you for posting your photos.  I, too, did a double take on the beer, but it made me smile!     Deanna

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  • nelia48
    nelia48 Member Posts: 539
    edited May 2009

    Bettina, my lump had been there for about 8 years, and it was 10 cm or more in size, had broken through the skin, etc.  There is a page on staging and the criteria somewhere here. Mine was stage 3b.  That is when it has spread to the skin and/or chest wall, nodes are involved, etc.  When your oncologist gets all your information and results from everything, he will stage your cancer.  Just ask him.  He might not offer that information up front.

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  • KEW
    KEW Member Posts: 745
    edited May 2009

    Bettina--I had two lumps in my breast that I found 6 months after my mammogram.  I've had one every year since I was 30.  I couldn't understand how it was missed in the mammogram.  The radiologist at the hospital where I was dx said they were in a place that is hard to catch with mammography.  Once I felt the lump, I couldn't tell there were two, they gave me a diagnostic mammogram and really focused on that spot, sure enough there they were.  I had an immediate ultrasound.  I too was worried that I had fast growing cancer, but that was not the case. Measured together, as one, my tumor was 2.6 cm, even though separately neither was 2cm, so I could be stage 1, but the way the pathologist measured, I am forever stage 2a.

    As far as size goes, my BS and onc both told me that you can have a large tumor that is not aggressive, or have a very small one that is super aggressive, so size doesn't tell the whole story.

    More and more oncs are looking at tumor biology, not just size, age, and stage.

    Nelia48--I always want to hug you when I see your posts.  You have so much to share and do it with such grace.

    Karen

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited May 2009

    Lisa, I loved the beer-and-horse picture.  In fact, you inspired me and I took a glass of wine out to my llamas today (but didn't share...) 

    Oh my gosh, Deanna, your comment about making friends through this group is so true - it's incredible how quickly you can bond with someone on a message board and get into very detailed conversations about all kinds of stuff. Bettina, give it a few weeks and you'll have a group of groovy women friends on this list that you can share all your thoughts with (and I do mean ALL your thoughts - check out the "I want my Mojo back!" thread; it's hilarious. And raunchy. And full of great advice).

    Cancer does feel like a slap in the face at first, but it becomes part of the warp and weft of who you are and feels like less of a slap and more of a wake-up call for living your life as fully as possible.  Every woman who's responded to you is a living testament to the really great things that emerge in life after a cancer diagnosis.  You get to a point where you realize that cancer is everywhere, but it's not necessarily scary... it's just part of our life on this planet, part of being human.  

    Also, Karen's right and so is Nelia - there are lots of reasons why a lesion doesn't get picked up by a radiologist (they're human, they look at lots of these, and they miss stuff) and size and aggression aren't necessarily correlated.  Just because they didn't catch it on a mammogram, and it became palpable six months later, doesn't mean that it's exploding in your chest or that it's viciously aggressive.    There's a point at which things become palpable, takes longer in dense breast tissue, and you probably caught it just at that point. I have a very small cancer, a few millimeters and fairly inocuous on a mammogram, but once they got it out of me it became apparent that it was invasive and aggressive (hence my upcoming "Summer Chemo-cation," GROAN....). Your cancer will have its own fingerprint, too.  

    You're going to be fine, Bettina.  Breast cancer is scary but very survivable, and the treatments are getting better and better and better. I think most of us would agree that the diagnosis and waiting for test results is the worst part.  Once you know what you're facing, it does get less terrifying.

    Hugs,

    Laura  

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  • nelia48
    nelia48 Member Posts: 539
    edited May 2009

    Karen, I just caught your note a few posts up!  Thank you for that!  I always feel that I'm older than most of you, and I feel so sorry that you all have to go through this during the "prime" of your life.  When I first started this journey, I felt I should journal it all for those coming behind me, and I do have a blog.  Does anyone else have a blog where they share their BC experiences?  Mine is at

    http://www.hiddenrichessecretplaces.blogspot.com

    Would love to read yours if you do have one!

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  • elizrosner
    elizrosner Member Posts: 19
    edited May 2009

    Hi everybody, I've been posting on another board that focuses on TC chemo, but now that I've gotten past my final dose (yesterday! yay!), I'm curious about other discussions too.  Wanted to share with anyone interested my one piece of advice for a consultation with the amazing and incredibly knowledgeable as well as kind (YES!) breast cancer specialist in the SF bay area named Dr. Michael Lagios.  His recommendations and input have been by far the most useful source of info. during my decision-making process, and by the way: he saved my life by detecting invasive cancer when my initial pathology report showed only DCIS.  Apparently this kind of misdiagnosis happens all the time.  Not to scare anyone, but the numbers are shocking.  Anyway:  Dr. Michael Lagios, 415-789-0965.  www.breastcancerconsultdr.com.  He is truly a gem.

    Good luck!!

    Liz 

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  • BShoemaker
    BShoemaker Member Posts: 78
    edited May 2009
    Hi everybody...here's the latest update...What happened is I wasn't supposed to have my oncologist appt until June 4, then I got a last second call to come in & see her immediately.  They mentioned Chemo & Picc Line and I freaked!  I got a little good news, but mostly bad in my opinion.  My left breast is not bad and not an immediate concern & was grade 1, but the right breast has a VERY aggressive tumor about the size of a walnut & they found a few other small tumors in the same breast & was rated Grade 3 -bad, bad, bad.  I am HER2 negative which was good.  The oncologist told me I needed to start chemo right away to shrink the tumor - 4 cycles, 1 every 3 weeks.  I am supposed to start on Thursday next week.  They have scheduled me for a PET scan, MUGA scan, teaching class for what to expect on Chemo and Picc Line placement. Every day before my Chemo I have some sort of test to take.  I will be doing Chemo before & after surgery.  What was interesting the Nurse I met with questioned my doctors choice of putting in a Picc Line and thought I really didn't need it, but the doctor told her she wanted it in.  I have not have any time to breath, let alone deal with a 2nd opinion.  Everything has happened so fast I have not been able to think straight.  I felt good about my Oncologist so that was good.  I won't meet with the surgeon until June 8.  I will be getting Taxotere and Cytoxan.  They took my blood for the BRCA test.  They will consider removing my ovaries, hysterectomy and advised I will more than likely have to have a bilateral mastectomy.

    Anyone going through the same Chemo regiment?  Any tips??  I'll take em!

    Thanks to all of you for your input and help.  It is priceless & I don't know what I would do without you!  Bettina

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  • dlb823
    dlb823 Member Posts: 9,430
    edited May 2009

    Bettina ~  I'm a little surprised about the PICC line, too.  Did your onc tell you why she wants you to have one?  Maybe if they're doing chemo then possibly bi-lateral surgery then more chemo they don't want to have to use an arm vein right after surgery?   Now that I think about it, that possibility would make sense, especially if they remove lymph nodes.

    I'm so glad you feel good about your oncologist, and it sounds like they're moving very quickly, which is also reassuring.

    There should be a thread here for women starting chemo in June, and there's also one called "Anyone on just Taxotere & Cytoxin?"  They'd both be good ones for you to check in on for day-to-day support and info.    Deanna

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited May 2009

    Bettina, let us know the details when they stage you... we're all rooting for you!  Love, Laura

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  • BShoemaker
    BShoemaker Member Posts: 78
    edited May 2009

    Deanna, the nurse went & spoke to her before she left me leave.  She came back & said the reason is that I will be getting Chemo before & after surgery and she felt it would be easier on me to receive the Chemo etc...rather than getting poked over and over again. The nurse still felt she didn't think it was necessary, but told me it was my choice.  I'm going to go ahead & go with it for now.  I hate needles as it is, so the less I'm poked, the better.  It's so hard to remember everything they say.  It's so much info to take in at once and I'm on overload.  Thanks for the tips on the other threads...I'll check them out.  The nurse was very sweet, in fact everyone at the Oncologists office has been really great. 

    I will keep you all posted Laura...looks like it will be a while before surgery though. 

    thanks!  Bettina

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