going to daughter's destination wedding

hammer2 · May 2009

I was diagnosed with stage 3 cancer in March and my daughter is getting married in Jamaica in three weeks. I had a right breast maste. four weeks ago. I go for my second round of chemo next week and have been told I will lose my hair shortly after. I am worried about everything, The plane ride concern with lynphdema,the no hair,and wish i could just concentrate on my only daughter's wedding. This should be an extremely happy time and all I want to do is cry and say why me. She has been great trying to help me and yet continue to plan her wedding. She called me last week because a lot of the family tell her she is making me stressful when I shoud'nt be and she said she would cancel the wedding even though 20+ people have paid their way already. I just keep trying to reassure her that I fine going and she should'nt cancel. I have tried to keep my spirits up but it is extremely difficult. Any suggestions about traveling while in the middle fo chemo would be appreciated

Texgirl · May 2009

In Feb.2005 when I was dx'd.( stage IIIc also), my daughter was planning a May wedding. We had already made several deposits and the location was reserved. After much angst we decided to cancel the wedding and rescheduled it for the following spring. Although I hated to do that to them I agreed to the cancellation. We were so happy later that we did...I would not have been energetic nor feeling well enough to really participate in the festivities,work and planning. I really wanted to enjoy the wedding not just attend....You on the otherhand have a destination wedding so you wouldn't have the details to attend to as I did ...you really could relax more..but will still not probably feel like yourself. Go for it ..since the date is so close..monitor the sun you get..take a big sun hat...and enjoy...take lots of pictures !

Get a prescrip for an arm sleeve and wear it during the flight....get a really good sunscreen..and make sure you take your nausea meds...try not to schedule your chemo so that the "bad day or days will not be the wedding day or close to it......don't forget your "cranial prosthesis " prescription and get that done asap so you'll have a great hairdo for the beach!

hammer2 · May 2009

Texgirl

Thank you so much. I get my next chemo on june 3 and then not again till we get back. This is my 11 day since my last chemo so I do feel better. The way I was feeling last week I didn't think I could do it. I've been to a Physical Therapist but she said I wont need a sleeve because I have only minor sweeling and if I just do some exercises during the flight I should be ok. My daughter went out and purchased 85 spf sunscreen for me . I think I was just feeling sorry for myself. I got a cranial prosthesis yesterday. I think once I get there I'll relax;its just everything seemed to overwhelm me. Facing the hair thing is a major step which Ihope i'll adjust to by the time we go.

apple · May 2009

you'll be fine. enjoy yourself. just take care. This is a happy time for your daughter.

After living with breast cancer a year.. it's just the same 'ol same ol now that i'm used to it. i go out bald.. people don't care, which is beside the point. You should appear in whatever makes you the most comfortable particularly in pictures. Lots of people have horrible horrible issues to deal with which is not to discount our suffering, just to suggest that you'll be fine.

Smile

you can do it.

soprano · May 2009

My mom had almost no hair for my wedding. We got a make up artist to do my make-up and hers. She said that she hadn't felt that pretty in a long time. Definitely do what makes you feel most comfortable for the pictures. Wig, no wig, scarf. Also try to pick outfits that make you feel good about yourself for the trip. I think that helped my mom tremendously. Everyone will be thrilled to see you there enjoying yourself. I hope that you have a wonderful time.

Soprano

hammer2 · May 2009

Thanks, I feel so much better. My attitude has improved so much just posting and getting your replies.I went with my daughter tonight for my final fitting and told her about this discussion board. She was glad I found someone to talk to that understands how sacred I am. I will try to relax and just enjoy what comes my way. Next week will be tough as after chemo I didn't get sick but was really fatigued for a whole week. Maybe we can find someone down there who can do my makeup. My daughter keeps telling me that the wig looks great but all I can see is a wig . I just have to get past all my negative thoughts and just be happy I'm here to see her get married. Thanks again

EleanorJ · May 2009

If I were you, I would get the sleeve even though you've been told you don't it. Minor swelling IS swelling and it could get worse. I have lymphedema in my foot, didn't know at the time that's what it was and I flew. The swelling got SO bad in the plane I want to jump off or ask the stewardess to do an emergency landing! Seriously, a sleeve could make your flight a much nicer flight.

Have you done a look good feel better class yet? You might try to find one before the wedding. Enjoy yourself, you'll be fine and I'm sure it will be a nice break from reality.

Oh, and you might want to consider at least bringing a surgical mask to cover your mouth/nose just in case people start coughing in the plane.

Wishing you a great time

junie · May 2009

gentle hugggssss, hammer--relax--it will work out fine! A few travel tips from me/and some specific to Jamaica having been there a couple months ago.....

my first was to take a couple surgical masks to wear in airports--exc suggestion. Other airport issues to consider: make arrangements with the airline ahead of time and request wheelchair or cart transportation between points in the airport. Consider pre-boarding with the kiddies and handicapped--don't have to stand in long line and can take your time getting settled into seat (I did that one time during chemo; got some dirty looks and had one flight attendant who was boarding the plane tell me I had misunderstood, but I told him no--I was pre-boarding for medical reasons. As soon as I was settled and seated, I whipped off my itchy wig and put on a soft bandana--the attendant was so apologetic. Rules may differ by airline but at the time a medical note from dr was not required...might check that out...and some airlines might require documentation to request in airport transportation--have just always asked and was okay.)

can't help with LE issues--no problems here and have flown much during and after tx.

Jamaican resorts--many are 2-3 stories with no elevators. Just depends on where you're staying, but if no elevators, contact resort ahead of time, or ask travel agent, and request a ground level room. Sometimes, just climbing a flight of stairs can wear you out! It the resort is large, check to see if they have golf-cart type transportation that you ring up the desk and they come pick you up--great way to get around and saves a ton of energy. Some of the resorts are so huge that just walking from room to go eat is challenging.

Jamaica is lovely and I can't imagine a more fantastic wedding location!!!

heads up--if you're returning and going through customs in Miami--will most definitely want to request assitance to get from plane to customs. Feel free to PM me if you have questions...enjoy your trip!

bluedasher · May 2009

Hammer, I think you will find it's okay. I was on TCH every three weeks and went on business trips during chemo. It was always during the third week of my cycle (two weeks after treatment) and I usually felt close to normal during that time. It also helps that this is your second cycle - there is a cummulative effect of chemo so it was harder on the later cycles.

I didn't worry too much about immunity because I was getting Neupogen to keep my white cells up. I came down with a cold after one trip, but my DH and DIL came down with one at the same time so it was probably something we were exposed to before I left on the trip.

Going through the airports was fine and I didn't feel I needed help. However, I did feel the altitude when changing planes in Denver. Walking there would make me breathe hard. When not on chemo, mile high altitude doesn't bother me. Probably that is the chemo anemia.

I did have to ask for help on the trip after chemo. After 6 cycles, my legs were feeling kind of weak and I had a trip on a smaller plane where they didn't use the jetway. I didn't feel that I could carry my suitcase down the stairs at that point so I asked the gate agent and she got one of the ground crew to carry my bag down. On the way back, I let the flight attendent know that going up the stairs to the terminal would be a problem for me and she arranged for someone to escort me to an elevator. In the past, I once had to travel with a broken ankle. I called the airline ahead of time and they arranged for a wheel chair through the airports. They didn't require any doctor's note.

You might want to check if your medical insurance covers you outside the US and get trip insurance if it doesn't. You probably won't need it but it doesn't cost much and can give you some peace of mind.

pevans · May 2009

I went to the Dominican Republic during chemo and am so glad I did! Like others said, bring lots of sunscreen and rest as much as you can. Also, while you'll probably want the wig for the wedding events, definitely bring some nice scarves or hats as the wig might be a little warm at the beach or pool during the day. Also, remember to hydrate,both while traveling and in Jamaica! I drank lots of pineapple juice and water. My oncologist also made sure that I had a Neulasta shot before I left to be sure those white blood cells where nice and high. Having your make-up done is a great idea, if possible.

Binney4 · May 2009

Hammer, hello!

If you have some swelling you really will want to see a well-trained lymphedema therapist for an evaluation, some personal coping tips, and fitting for a compression sleeve and glove. Even if you decide not to wear the garments onto the plane, get used to them beforehand and then take them with you in your carry-on -- there is nothing more upsetting than to arrive at your destination with painful swelling and no medical team to help you. (That's what happened to me, on a trip to Sitka, Alaska -- not good! Tongue out Better to be prepared so you can relax.

It can be difficult to find a fully-qualified lymphedema therapist, because there are not yet legally mandated training standards, so any PT can say they're qualified, even with minimal or no training in lymphedema treatment. Here's a page about finding a fully-trained one near you:

http://www.stepup-speakout.org/Finding_a_Qualified_Lymphedema_Therapist.htm

Have a wonderful time and come home with only happy memories!
Binney

hammer2 · May 2009

Thanks to everyone for their suggestions about going to Jamaica. I feel so much better and am now looking forward to the trip. Binney4,I checked your Lynphedema site and found that the PT I'm going to was not listed. I see her Tue. and she is going to measure me again to see if their is any swelling since the last measurement. I am going to tell her that I want to get a sleeve or glove just in case. Cebula,I am signed up for the LookGood Feel Better class on the 10th before we leave for Jamaica.Bluedasher,I will now check about my health insurance and if not check into trip insurance. Pevans, my daughter is checking into water bottles for when we are in Jamaica so I can carry water with me all the time. Thanks to all

going to daughter's destination wedding

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